


Reduviidae

by TNKT



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Blackmail, Bugs & Insects, Captivity, Childhood Friends, Confinement, Cool Girlfriend, Delusions, Disturbing behaviour, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humiliation, I'll add tags as the story progresses, Locked In, M/M, Malnutrition, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Molestation, Night Terrors, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Optimistic Male Protagonist, Panic Attacks, Probably won't end well, Protectiveness, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Groping, Slow Build, Stalking, Strong Female Characters, Suicidal Thoughts, Watching Someone Sleep, anger issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:28:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7359442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who could've thought it'd be this bad.<br/>Who could've thought this kind of insanity would thrive so close.<br/>They talk about this kind of thing on TV, about psychopaths, murderers, stalkers, and we stare at the bright screen broadcasting the news at dinner, emotionless and grim as we watch on with obscene curiosity. But we never think about them being close to us.<br/>We don't want to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John's feet come to a stop, the sound of his suitcase rolling on the paved sidewalk ceasing at once. He looks up, his blue eyes sparkling with joy and apprehension as they trail up the tall facade.  
This is it.  
A new life.  
His heart swells, ready to burst with excitement, as music plays in his ears.  
This engineering school is his new home. He can't wait to see what his room is like, who his roomate is, what friends he'll make. Staring up at a school's walls has never been this exciting before; it's one thing to graduate from middle school to high school, but changing lifestyles completely is much, much more interesting. Sure, he had to leave some friends behind, and his girlfriend and him won't live in the same city anymore, but it's okay. They can still see each other when they have time.  
This is a whole new situation, and he's determined to make the most of it. A smile spreads across his face as he starts walking again.

That's the thing with John. He's always so excited to do new stuff, discover and learn, that he doesn't fully realize what and who he's going to miss once everything will have settled down. He knows it, and he's sure that in one or two days he'll start feeling like he absolutely needs to see Taylor, and it'll seem unbearable because he loves her so freaking much it hurts sometimes, and she'll be there to talk to him on the phone and assure him that they'll see each other over the weekend, which is coming pretty soon. She'll guess about him doing his puppy eyes on the other side of the phone and will tease him about it.  
He knows all that already, and that's why he shakes all those thoughts away for now. He'll deal with his predictable self later.

His feet lead him under the great entrance's arch and the school yard opens before him, wide, green and surprisingly sunny considering walls stand erect along its four sides. Again, his gaze is pulled upwards, and he smiles at the square of smooth blue sky that floats above the school – his school.  
It's so pretty.  
"Hey!"  
A voice distracts him from his wide-eyed admiration and as he looks down to his left, a lavender color catches his eye. A small girl with short purple hair is standing close to him. His eyebrows shoot up when he notices her presence and he quickly pulls out his earbuds, grinning at her.  
"Hi."  
She tilts her head, a cute smile lighting up her face. "Hi! I'm Lana. Are you looking for the place where they give interns their room key? Cause I'm also an intern here." Her smile grows wider, and John notices her eyes are a darker blue than his and the excitement shining there is very much like his own. "Let's go together! Maybe you'll be better than me at finding the place."  
The boy hesitates. "Um... How do you know I'm an intern?"  
She rolls her eyes. "There aren't many other possibilities, y'know."  
Of course. He's got a suitcase, and today, only the intern students are supposed to come. "Makes sense." John can feel heat starting to invade his cheeks, and he tries to hide it by turning away. "Alright then, let's go."  
He hears Lana giggle behind him as she quickly rounds him to catch a glimpse of his face. "Don't feel stupid, it's okay if you blush! My brother also has some problems with controlling the color of his face when he's embarrassed."  
"Not feeling stupid," he denies as he searches for some kind of sign indicating where the keys are handed out.  
She giggles some more and grabs her own suitcase. "It's okay, what's your name anyways? Also there are no signs, that's why I was a bit lost."  
He looks back at her. "I'm John."  
"Classic."  
He nods and starts dragging his suitcase behind him. "Pretty much."

"So you have an idea where it is?" The girl follows him, staring at him expectantly.  
"I'm just going to ask in the secretary office or something, it'll probably help them if we tell them that it's hard to find the place. You know, for the next interns who might also get lost."  
"Oh, that's a good idea. It's cool for the others. Wonder why I didn't think of it."  
"Well, you wouldn't have met me so soon if you hadn't." John shoots her a ravishing grin, and she grins back. She doesn't regret approaching this good-looking guy, already starting to like his attitude. She pipes up again. "Hey, out of simple curiosity, d'you have a girlfriend?"  
His blonde hair has interestingly warmer highlights under the sunlight, she notices, as his cocky grin turns to an apologetic smile. "Yup. The greatest girl I've ever met," and then his tone turns teasing. "I hope you weren't interested."  
She makes a face at him. "As if." She pokes the boy in the chest lightly, teasing him in turn. "You better be careful with that easy grin of yours though, other girls might get the wrong idea!"  
"Haha, come on. I'm not that charming, am I?" he chuckles, and Lana's eyes widen.  
"Are you kidding me? We've just met and I already think you'll probably be one of the best-looking guys in this school!"  
He blushes, again. He's not used to getting this kind of compliment in such an open manner, and especially not from hyper cute girls he just met. "Wow, you aren't shy at all, huh."  
"Well, what's the point in being?"

After finding the office and finally getting directed to the gymnasium, both of them enter the wide room, the typical smell rubber and polish filling the air. There are six tables with lists of names in alphabetical order, three per gender, and Lana turns to him.  
"Let's join up once we're finished settling down in our rooms. Is that okay with you?"  
John is happy to comply. "Oh, sure. Where?"  
"How about the next to the entrance? Maybe we'll meet other people that way!"  
John can't help smiling at the vibrant anticipation in her voice. "No problem."  
"Cool! You know what, here's my number." She pulls out a scrap of paper and a pencil from the gigantic pockets of her knitted coat and scribbles all over it before proudly handing it to John. "Here ya go!"  
He takes the paper, checking if the writing is readable. Yes. Sloppy, but readable. "Okay, thanks."  
"See you!" She turns to grab the handle of her suitcase and yanks it to her table. He smiles to himself and shakes his head. Been a long time since he met someone so energetic.  
He heads to his own table. There aren't many people around, probably because he came here pretty early. The lady giving out the keys smiles at him kindly and asks him to sign next to his name in the list, then gives him his key. Green keychain, numbers scrawled across yellowed paper in faded blue ink. He smiles back at her and politely wishes her a good day, then checks to the side to see if Lana is already gone. She's at the gymnasium's back door, and she waves at him before pushing the door open and leaving. So the girl's dorm must be on the other side of the school.

He walks down the school's east hallway, noticing the elevator next to the stairs at the end of the hall. The boy leans forward to press the button and a satisfying whirring sound rises in the air. He didn't know there would be an elevator for the guy's dorm, but he's happy to learn it. It'll avoid him the many hardships that come with hoisting a heavy suitcase through the stairway. The elevator's doors slid open, revealing his reflection in its mirror. Of course, there's no one else in it, and John sighs. He hopes the other guys will be there soon, he really wants to meet new friends. He's very much aware of how much of a kid he acts like when he thinks like that, but he can't help it. He's the social type.

His room is on the third floor, and when finally finds his dorm room he's glad to see two names on the door, which means he is indeed paired with another guy. He'll finally get to feel what it's like to have a roomate. He stops to read the other name: "Seithei Jand... Jandriana..."  
"Jandrianarainah." murmures a soft voice in his right ear, and John nearly jumps out of his skin. What is it with people sneaking up on him today? The voice is a boy's, taller than him (but then again, John is short so it's not saying much) and dark: dark hair, dark eyes, and a bit sinister overall. But that's probably because of the black clothes. He also looks slightly hurt by John's skittish reaction.  
The latter shuffles awkardly. "Sorry about that, you kinda scared me. Are you Seithei?"  
The other nods slightly. "Yes." He pauses, and his voice is a bit timid when he speaks again. "But if we're going to be roomates, you should call me Tei."  
"Sure, Tei it is then." John smiles at his roomate. "Let's check inside?"  
The other nods silently and John turns the key in the lock and and pushes the door open. The first thing that greets his eyes is a luminous shade of green, and his mouth drops open. The room is amazing. It's so large and clean and neat, everything in perfect shape and in its place. The curtains are a soft and clear green, the sunlight that shines through them giving the room a meadowy air.  
He turns around at Tei, smiling at him. "Awesome."  
Tei gazes at him from under his long bangs. "...Yeah."  
"You want the right side or the left side?"  
The boy just shrugs. John doesn't insist when he understands the other isn't the type to express himself much, and starts bustling around to put away his belongings on the right side of the bedroom. He hears Tei trudge to the other side, and something unidentifiable wriggles in John's heart. He doesn't know what to make of it, but he feels slightly unsettled by Tei's lack of reaction.  
They both do their thing on their side for a while, until John turns on some music on his phone.  
Tei simply glances at the blonde boy, doesn't say anything. John smiles at him, unsure and gesturing towards him with his phone. "Is this okay?"  
Tei nods and turns back to his stuff. John resists the urge to sigh. He'd better hurry up and join Lana. She's way more interesting than Tei, at least she acts alive. Then he notices something in Tei's bag, and the feeling wriggles again: a jar filled with something dark and moving.  
"Hey uh, Tei?"  
The boy glances up at him again. "Yes?"  
"What's that?"  
Tei follows the trajectory following John's pointed finger and rests his left hand on the jar. "Bugs."  
Upon hearing that answer, John frowns. He's not sure that's a good idea. "We're allowed to have those in our room?"  
Tei shrugs. "Maybe."  
John is growing more and more unsettled by the minute. "They aren't dangerous, are they?"  
"Nah." Tei pulls out the jar from the bag, gazing at it softly. "It's fine, don't worry John."  
First time he's calling John by his name. The blonde feels his spine crawling uncomfortably, and he's not sure if it's because of the bugs or that.  
"You should probably still ask." John turns back to pack away his last belongings. "Someone could throw it out while cleaning the room."  
Tei's glare is wasted on his oblivious back.  
___

John straightens, wiping his hands against his pants. He's done with cleaning up, time to meet Lana. He checks his watch: 11 AM. Definitely time to go, he's been here for more than an hour.  
"Hey Tei?"  
The other doesn't look at him this time, so John insists. "Tei?"  
The dark-haired boy suddenly glares at him and spits out, "What?"  
John takes a step back at Tei's surprisingly loud answer. Okay, so Tei has mood swings or something, noted. He looked so shy earlier. "Um, I just... I just wanted to tell you I was going."  
"Where?" Tei's dark eyes are a bit too insistant to John's taste.  
He crosses his arms, frowning at Tei. "Well, that's not really your business, is it? I mean, it doesn't really concern you."  
Tei's eyes suddenly widen, and something seems to dawn on him. "Oh, right, sorry." His timid voice is back, and he huddles up. "I shouldn't have..."  
Guilt immediately washes over John, who unfolds his arms. "It's okay, man. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have told you off like that. Did you want to come with me?" He wants to make this right again. He can't start off the year by acting like this with his roomate.  
Tei's eyes widen even more. "M-me?"  
"Well, yeah. Who else?"  
The boy seems a bit confused, and he shakes his head. "No, I'm fine."  
John lifts an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" He could've sworn the other looked like he wanted to, but... "Well, all right then. See you later." He gives the other a quick wave before stepping out of the room. What a strange guy he's been paired with.  
For some reason, the bugs reappear in his mind. It's not the bugs that disturb him, it's that look that Tei had on his face when he gazed at them.  
Weird.  
John shrugs and starts walking down the boy's dorm. He's not a judging person, he'll probably get used to Tei's excentric behaviour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> So yeah, new story that I'm writing at the same time as Stray's shelter. I actually have four stories in the works right now, and I'm making good progress! Anyways, please don't forget to comment, I'm dying for some feedback.  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

As he reaches the end of the staircase, he catches a glimpse of purple at the other end of the hall, next to the entrance. He starts walking in that direction, a small smile on his lips. She's so easy to spot with that hair.  
When he finally comes to the entrance's stairs, he calls out to the petite girl. "Hey Lana!"  
She turns around, and a wide grin spreads over her features when she recognizes him. "Hey again, handsome!"  
He stops in front of her. "So, how's your room?"  
Her gunmetal eyes widen and she starts flailing her arms around. "It's so freaking awesome! It's so big! And it's so pretty! Like, we've got this huuuge window, and with the curtains it's like a cathedral or something!"  
He smiles, nodding. "Yeah, I get what you're talking about. Green too?"  
"Nah, purple." She lets out a giggle, and John is pretty sure that it's more out of her nerves overloading on excitement than an actual funny thing. "It's my faaavourite color, it's amazing!"  
"You don't say," John smirks and glances at her hair.  
She rolls her eyes. "Stop being such a smartass, John." Then she lifts her hands up and starts blowing on her palms and shaking them. "But damn, climbing two floors with that heavy-ass suitcase was exhausting! I can't imagine the girls on the fifth floor!"  
"Well with those small arms, I'm not surprised," teases John. Then something strikes him and before she can retort, he tilts his head. "Wait, you climbed the stairs? Don't you have an elevator?"  
"Nope," she replies. Then she seems to realize something. "Wait, you have an elevator?"  
He nods sheepishly and she throws her hands in the air. "What the heck! We're the ladies here, aren't we supposed to get the elevator?"  
"Well, I'm sure you managed anyways. Girls are stronger than they look."  
"Haha, you don't say," she mumbles.  
John doesn't quite catch that. "What?"  
She perks up again. "D'you have a roomate?"  
He stares at her expectantly, but she continues to smile sweetly and wait for his answer. She's really avoiding his question in such an obvious manner? He sighs and sweeps his hand through his hair. "Yeah. His name's Seithei."  
"Is he cool?"  
"He's...." John pauses. He doesn't really know what to say. He's still a bit uneasy from Tei's outburst back then. "He's a bit shy. And he likes bugs."  
Lana scrunches up her face. "Don't tell me he's a crazy who brings bugs to bed with him."  
John shrugs, chuckling. "Kinda."  
"Well, my roomate is pretty sweet from what I've seen, but then again I was about to leave when she came. She looks nice enough."  
Maybe you should wait before drawing conclusions, thinks John. But who is he to say that? Lana's a big girl (figuratively), she'll see. "What's her name?"  
"Oh myyy, are you interested? Wink wonk," Lana grins as she jabs John's ribs with a surprisingly well-placed elbow. He sputters, bringing his hand to his side and answering with some trouble, although he hides it pretty well. "You know I have a girlfriend. I'm just asking a normal question."  
"Her name's Elizabeth, but she wants to be called Eli. Because it's cuter, I guess."  
"Or more practical. Mine wants to be called Tei. How long were you waiting before I came, anyway?"  
"Oh, not long, only 30 minutes."  
"30?!"  
"Yeah, because someone didn't give me their phone number so I couldn't tell them."  
John blushes. "Oh, right, sorry. I'll do it right now." While he does as said, he looks up again. "Wait, then you were really fast about putting away your stuff, right?"  
She beams at him, obviously very proud of herself. "My middle name is efficiency!"  
"...Right." He taps some more on his phone, then draws himself up. "Well, there it is. Done."  
Her phone gives a little jingle and she whips it out, registering his number. "And now we really are pals!"  
He raises his eyebrow. "That's all it takes to be your friend?"  
"Ah-ah-ah, I didn't say friend, I said pal," she waggles her finger in his face. "There's a difference. But come on, I mean, we got something going on, don't we?"  
He smiles. "I guess we do."  
"By the way, what's your girlfriend's name?"  
"Oh myyy," he grins his cocky smile at her. "Are you interested? Wink wonk."  
She rolls her eyes, again. She seems to do that a lot. "Aw, c'mon, you know what I mean."  
"I do. Her name's Taylor."  
Lana starts walking away without warning, so he hastily hurries forward to catch up with her, opening his mouth to ask her what's wrong, but she speaks before he does. "What do you two lovebirds call each other? Little nicknames, all that?" She smirks at him, like she didn't just start walking off in the middle of a conversation.  
"Uh, why'd you leave? Are you going somewhere?"  
"Huh?" Lana genuinely looks confused for a moment, then she slaps her hand against her forehead. "Oh, yeah! Of course that looked weird! Sorry, I just do that sometimes." She grins apologetically. "I have something in mind and I just go and do it, even if I'm talking with someone. Cause I know they'll follow anyway."  
John considers her words for a moment. "Somehow...That kinda makes sense."  
"Yeah, I know!"  
"Well, if you didn't intend to leave me as a sign for me to shut up, I call her Tay."  
"Don't worry, if I want you to shut up, I'll just tell you to." She turns on him, a wolfish grin plastered on her face. "And what does she call you?"  
"...You knew I was trying to avoid telling you, didn't you?"  
She gives a little satisfied snort. "Yup. I know everything."  
"...Of course you do. Why would I ever think otherwise."  
"So...? What does she call you?"  
He stares at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes after noticing his silence. When she does, he answers with a slightly red tinge to his cheeks. "I'd rather not tell you."  
Lana instantly pounces on him. "Ohhh c'moooon, just tell me! We're pals, aren't we?"  
"That's exactly why I'd rather not tell you. You'll feel totally free to make fun of me."  
"Well you know," she muses. "You could've just told me some bullshit and I might've believed you. Now whatever you say, I won't believe you unless it's embarassing."  
He sighs. Why can't he ever think of stuff like that? "What if I don't tell you at all?"  
"Oh c'mon, it's just a nickname!"  
He throws his arms into the end in desperation. "All right, all right! She calls me kitty, okay?"  
Lana immediately starts to giggle, covering her mouth with her hand, and he reddens even more.  
"Don't you dare try calling me that too. Tay's the only one that can call me that."  
"Haha," she catches her breath, wiping her eyes. "I kinda see why she calls you that."  
John grumbles. "Really. Where are we going, anyways?" As he speaks, he realizes that they're walking up the hall he came from earlier to join her.  
Lana looks up, as if suddenly realizing where she is. "Oh, right! I wanted you to show me where your room is."  
John frowns. "What for?"  
She grins her wide smile and whispers. "So I can tickle you in your sleep."  
He just continues staring at her rather dubiously, so she sighs. "Gee, where'd your sense of humor run off to while I wasn't there? I just want to know where you are so I can visit you when I'm bored."  
"Because you think I'll never be boring?"  
She pauses to think. "Well... You're right, but it's always better to have several distractions at hand, don't you think?"  
He shrugs, stepping in front of her to lead the way. "I guess. Follow me."  
"Yay!" she yells joyously behind him, hopping on the stairs as she trails behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I was thinking of doing some art for my characters, and I did Lana not long ago. Tell me if you'd like to see what she looks like!  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it.


	3. Chapter 3

When John pushes open his door, Lana peeking inside over his shoulder, he doesn't expect an empty room. Tei's stuff is stacked neatly next to his bed, the jar of bugs sitting on his shelf next to books, but their owner isn't there.  
How weird, John thinks. For an hour Tei had just sat there in the middle of his stuff, not making much progress, while John cleaned up his side of the room. Then John was gone for ten minutes or so and that was enough for Tei to finish up. His side is even cleaner than John's...  
Lana's perky voice interrupts his thoughts. "So... Where's he?" She's gazing around the room, taking in the calming green tinge of the room and the clear difference in tidiness between the right and left side of the room.  
John looks down at her and shrugs. "I dunno. I thought he'd be there."  
"Oh well, it's better that way. I get to see what stuff he has." She steps into the room and goes up to Tei's shelf, gazing at the jar. "Lemme guess, this is Tei's side, right?"  
"Yeah." John follows her, but he doesn't stare at the bugs any longer than necessary. Lana on the other hand seems to be very curious about them.  
Her eyes trained intently on the moving mass of red, orange, and black, she ponders out loud. "I wonder what they are. D'you think I could ask him?"  
He walks away from her and goes to sit in his chair. "I dunno, I just met him you know. You can always try."  
"I will." She whirls around and smiles at him. "Okay, now I know where you live. D'you want to check out my room?"  
He rises a skeptical eyebrow. "You want to go already?"  
"Yeah!"  
He sighs, shaking his head in mock defeat. "Do you ever stop moving around?"  
She shakes her head proudly, and he smiles. "All right, let's go."  
"Cool!" She hops to the door as he rises from his seat to follow her, once again gazing around the room. It keeps bugging him how clean everything is on Tei's side when he had such little time to clear his side. Why didn't he do it at the same time John did?

Lana's room is at the end of the right wing of the girl's dorm, the soft light peeking through the curtains making the room glow a deep and comforting shade of mauve. Lana's roomate pushes herself off her bed to greet them both, and John is quietly amazed at the length of her chestnut hair that reaches behind her knees in a braid. Just as Lana said, Elizabeth seems to be a very nice girl, a bit timid but John is pretty sure that it's because this is the first time meeting each other.  
She has a pretty smile, albeit a bit awkward, and as soon as the basic presentations and small talk are over she goes back to lying on her bed and reading her book.  
He and Lana end up going back out to leave her alone and spend the rest of the day chatting together and with other interns, eating out and visiting the school's surroundings. It's the first day for all of them, so it's hard to know who is genuinely nice and who will turn out not to be, but overall they get along well. John is happy to establish some links with new people, even if he has a little trouble to memorize every single name. He doesn't ask and isn't given any other phone number, however, but that's probably because Lana is the kind of person who offers her phone number to whomever she feels like. It's not like that for everyone.

The evening goes by smoothly, the group of new interns choosing a wide table in the school's cafeteria to eat together, and the excited chatter of expecting young people fill the atmosphere. At one point, John notices that Tei has slipped in their group without him noticing, and is timidly talking with a girl next to him. His roomate notices John's stare and looks at him, a tentative smile appearing on his face. John smiles back and waves discreetly, silently interrogating Tei through his eyes, but the other looks overwhelmed and hides behind the girl. How utterly different he is compared to Lana, John briefly thinks, before returning to the conversation on his side of the table.

The group slowly ambles out of the cafeteria, the square of evening sky above their head glowing pink, and John bids Lana goodbye as he beckons Tei to come closer. The shy boy complies and shuffles up to them both, observing Lana quietly. She smiles at him brightly as she exclaims: "Hi! So you're Tei? John told me about you!"  
His eyes widen and he glances at John. "...Really?"  
She nods frantically. "Yeah, and I was meaning to ask you, what kind of bugs are the bugs in that jar of yours?"  
Tei's shoulders draw together in a hunch and he quietly asks: "You went in my room?"  
"Well, it's my room too, you know," John intervenes, seeing the resentment in his roomate's eyes. "I was the one who let her in."  
Lana brings a hand to her mouth. "Ah! You didn't want others to go in there?" Tei doesn't answer, and he doesn't need to because she continues. "Don't worry Tei, I won't come anymore if you don't want me to, I was just curious."  
His eyes narrow and he snaps. "Don't call me Tei."  
John frowns. "You told me you wanted to be called that, don't act like that."  
Tei immediately reverts to being awkwardly timid, avoiding John's cross stare. "I just don't know her very well..."  
"Well, you don't know me either. We just met."  
He opens his mouth. "I-"  
"All right, all right, don't fight girls," Lana butts in. "It's fine, I won't call you that anymore, okay?" She smiles at him kindly. "It's totally fine. It's Seithei from now on."  
He nods quietly. The three of them stand around awkwardly until John speaks again. "Well then. Maybe we should...." He gestures towards the other boys who are making their way back to the dorm, and Lana turns around to check the if the girls are going too. Elizabeth is watching her a few feet away, and tilts her head questioningly when Lana notices her.  
"Sorry Eli, I'm coming!" she calls out, then turns back to the two boys. "Yep, you're right, we should go. See you tomorrow, John, Seithei!" Then she spins around and hurries to Elizabeth's side.  
John and his roomate are left behind and the blonde starts following the others. He hears the dark-haired boy shuffle behind him, and they make their way back in silence.

Once they enter their bedroom, John throws the keys on his table and whirls around decidedly, his stare pinning his roomate near the door. "What was that."  
The other twists his shirt in his hands. "What?"  
"Come on, why did you act like that? What's wrong with calling you Tei?"  
"There's nothing wrong with it...You can call me that, but I don't want anyone else to call me that."  
John frowns. That's just plain weird. "And why is that? Why can I do it, but not the others?"  
The other doesn't answer, keeps on twisting his hands into the fabric of his clothes. John waits for him to answer, but after a while he realizes that waiting is useless. He sighs, tired of the other's erratic behaviour. "Fine, be that way. I don't care, I'll call you Seithei like everyone else will. I don't understand you, and I'm not trying anymore."  
He turns around and gets his towel before heading to the shower, not saying another word. Seithei just stands there, unmoving.

Droplets of water running down his face and shoulders, John lets his thoughts wander. He just doesn't get Seithei. What is his problem? Why does he act so weird and random? He's so shy one moment, and the very next he's spewing out agressive shit for no real reason. Lana didn't do anything wrong back there, why'd he have to be so rude? And really, the strangest in all this is Seithei's wish to be called Tei by John only. Why?  
John reaches for the soap and pours some in his hand, pensively lathering it across his body. Never mind Seithei, he'll see how it turns out. He just hopes it won't get any worse.  
What he should really be thinking about is the start of classes tomorrow: who'll be in his? Which teachers will he get? He really hopes Lana will be with him. Out of all the interns he's met, she's definitely the one he likes the most. Maybe he'll meet other cool friends over the week.

When he ambles out of the bathroom, he notices Seithei has gone to bed already. For some reason he feels surprised. He thought the guy was the kind to stay up late, probably because of his dark demeanor. It's still relatively early before going to bed, so he decides to call his girlfriend out in the corridor to avoid disturbing his sleeping roomate.

He speaks in a low voice in front of his door, telling Taylor about the people he's met, especially Lana, and how everything is amazing here. She replies that she's not surprised, considering how open he is towards others, besides that school is well ranked, right? So it's bound to be pretty awesome. John nods to himself distractedly, this school is one of the best in the region after all, but that's not what he's thinking about. He doesn't want to talk about Seithei's strange behaviour, because he knows that first impressions can be far off from a person's real personality, so he keeps his thoughts about the guy to himself, only telling Tay about the bugs and Seithei's timid behaviour. She sounds surprised about the boy's apparent love for insects, to the point that he brings them into the dorm, but it seems she also has something on her mind. Taylor asks him if he thinks that they'll be able to meet often over the year, both of them alone like before, and he answers with the fire of young love that it shouldn't even be a question. "Whatever you choose to do, I'll be there for you, my lady."  
"You big chivalrous dork," she laughs softly.  
He smiles, his blue eyes alight with fond happiness. "I love you, Tay."  
She tells him that she loves him too, more than anything in the world, and kisses him good night from the other side of the phone. He does the same before hanging up, leans against the door in the quiet corridor and stays there for a while, a soft smile lingering on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I followed through and posted a drawing of Lana on my DeviantArt account, it's the same username as here so check it out if you're curious.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	4. Chapter 4

John wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing out under him.  
Monday morning.  
His blue eyes snap open and he springs upright in excitement, kicking the covers to the side.  
The morning alarm stops ringing and his eyes wander to his left as he stretches. There's no one on the other side of the room, the covers thrown about in a messy heap at the end of the bed. John thinks maybe his roomate has gone to the restroom in the hall, since they don't have one in their room, but then his gaze roams around the room and he notices that Seithei's shoes, coat and bag are all gone. So that's why he went to sleep way before John did, he's an early riser.  
The blonde edges to the end of his bed and starts climbing down the ladder, checking the time on his watch which is lying on the desk next to the bed. It's 7:04AM, they still have time before the day starts. Couldn't Seithei have waited for him? Then again, he kind of understands why Seithei wouldn't want to hang around him anymore, considering the events of the previous night.

He's quick to wash his face and to dress up, looking forward to going downstairs and meeting the interns from yesterday. As he locks the room, he hears the jingle of keys a few rooms away. He turns his head towards the boy who just came out of his room. Their eyes meet and John smiles.  
"Hey."  
The other nods in acknowledgement, tossing his keys in the air. "Hey. You're going downstairs?"  
John walks towards him. "Yeah, I'm going to hit the cafeteria."  
The boy pockets his keys and turns to walk towards the stairs as well. "Cool. Me too."  
They talk some more while going down the stairs and the hallway, and as they near their destination John learns that the boy's name is Gaby. Brown tousled hair, hazel eyes, lanky body, long limbs and carefree attitude, he looks like a chill dude. They enter the cafeteria and get their respective trays, and when they near the tables John notices that the interns he met yesterday are still together for the most part. Some have decided to see new interns, those who arrived either late last night or early this morning, John guesses, so they're on another table. All in all, four tables are used by those he knows.   
Gaby speaks and John's eyes dart up to his side. Damn, the dude is really tall. "The guys I know are over there." He points to the table where the interns that John does and doesn't know are eating. "You wanna come or you have other people you know?"  
John stares around, searching for a mop of dark hair or purple bangs. Neither are there. Either they don't eat breakfast, either they eat too early or too late. He'll have to ask them at what time they usually eat so they can synchronize. He hesitates shortly, because there are a lot of people he knows sitting in the cafeteria, but at the same time he wants to meet others. One of the girls he met yesterday catches his eye and smiles at him, and he smiles back, but there's no place left next to her, so he turns back to the tall boy waiting for his answer and shakes his head. "Nah, I got no one. I'm coming with you."  
" 'Kay." Gaby starts walking again and John follows his wide strides hurriedly.  
The breakfast with the interns turns out to be one of the best ways John's ever started a day. Talking with them, sharing their feelings and just joking around is a lot of fun, and he's pretty happy to see that everyone's nice. There are one or two grumpy people at his table for fourteen that don't seem fully awake, and are here simply because their more awake roomate has dragged their asses down the stairs with them despite their obvious wish to stay in bed, but for the most part those who came down to eat breakfast are pretty energetic. 

A pleasing surprise awaits John when he steps into his classroom through its back door. A flash of purple pounces on him and his widened eyes meet Lana's gleeful ones as the hyperactive girl starts happily screeching in his ears.  
"Hey JOHN! We're in the SAME CLASS!" She lets go of him, her excitement accompanied by an appropriate amount of waving around. "How WONDERFUL is this?! Who would've THOUGHT?"  
He laughs and pats her head. "Maybe you should stop yelling, people are looking at you funny."  
She frowns playfully, swatting his hand away. "Who cares? And stop doing that, I'm not your pet."  
He grins at her. "I'm sorry, it's just that you're so small... I didn't think before doing that."  
Lana rolls her eyes. "The more I get to know you, the more you make me think of my brother. I was supposed to have escaped him coming here, y'know. My plan is failing because of you!"  
John chuckles and steps forward, throwing his bag on the desk next to Lana's, where the oversized knitted coat hangs from its chair. "That's unfortunate." She huffs and swats the back of his head in revenge.  
That's when he hears a familiar male voice from the corner of the room. "John?"  
He lifts his eyes and meets the warm and inquiring gaze of the boy who just spoke his name. He can feel his eyes widen in surprise and he speaks his friend's name in an unbelieving voice. "Aki?"  
The boy is a bit smaller than Gaby, yet it doesn't change anything to the fact that he's always been taller than John. His black hair is shorter than before, but there's no mistaking his dark brown eyes and teasing smile. He's obviously been working out over the last two years they didn't see each other. He draws closer to the blonde, his smile growing wider. "Hey man! Didn't think I'd meet you here."  
John shakes his head incredulously. "Same high school, same class? This isn't just a coincidence, this is a miracle!" He grins as well, joy filling his chest. "Dude, I missed you!"  
Both friends throw themselves in each other's arms, laughing and patting each other's back. Lana stares on curiously, glad to see John's radiant smile and happy laughter.  
He turns to her and introduces the tall guy next to him. "Lana, this is Akinari, old friend of mine. Aki, this is Lana, she's an intern here. We met yesterday."  
"Wait," Aki interjects. "You're an intern too?"  
"No way." The realization of what Aki's reaction means dawns on John, and he feels like exploding with glee. "You're an intern? The three of us are interns?"  
Akinari nods wordlessly and Lana's grin soon matches John's. "DUDES, this is CRAZY! This is AWESOME!"  
John's laughter rings out again in the classroom, and the three students don't even care about the glances thrown in their direction. They know they're being quite the raucous bunch right now, but who cares? Class hasn't started yet.  
Questions start rising in John's mind. "Hey Aki, how come I didn't know you were coming here?"  
The taller boy smirks. "I could ask you the same thing. You completely went off the radar over the last years."  
"True. Hey, do you-"  
"Alright hello class, settle down!" yells a feminine voice, interrupting John's question. The teacher has walked in without them noticing, and is standing in front of her desk.  
Akinari lifts his eyebrows apologetically at his friend. "We'll talk later, alright?"  
"Sure." John nods and turns away, not before noticing the wink Aki sends in Lana's direction. The purple-haired girl giggles and winks back before drawing her chair to sit next to the blonde.  
"Ugh," he whispers in a not-so-discreet fashion.  
She just pokes him in the ribs.

"So, what happened to you since the last time we saw each other?"  
Akinari and John are sitting on the school yard's low walls, the latter leaning forward to have a good look at his friend. Lana isn't there, she went straight to her room after the lessons were over, probably to leave them alone after all that time they didn't see each other. Akinari chuckles, his eyes gazing off in the distance.  
"A lot of wild stuff happened. It's a bit long to explain."  
"That's fine, we don't have any work to do for tomorrow."  
Akinari shakes his head, lowering his gaze to his shoes. "It's.... complicated."  
John frowns, beginning to think that maybe his friend hasn't had the easiest of lives before coming here. A lot of things can happen in two years.  
"Aki... is it really too personal that you can't share it with me?"  
The boy's eyes slide up to rest on his blonde friend's face, and it suddenly hits John how different Akinari's gaze is now compared to two years ago. It's still the same warm brown irises, but there's a hard and cold touch to his gaze laying deep behind them, and lingering sadness swimming in the darkness of his pupils. For the first time since their reunion, John feels a little uneasy. There's something escaping his grasp, and it's even more frustrating that his friend is the one concerned.  
"You know you can tell me, right Aki? Whatever it is."  
Akinari smiles softly and looks away, regret tangent in his voice when he answers. "I'm sorry John, but I can't tell you. Not this. Not right now."

John nods wordlessly. He doesn't want to push his friend's boundaries, not when they've just found each other again. Last time they saw each other, it was late in the afternoon and the sun was melting in a sea of vibrant orange and bright shades of pink, and Akinari has been dragged away by his very annoyed uncle because of how late after school it was. Akinari had always had pretty strict curfew, even up till 11th grade. John had been left standing on the road, his friend waving at him discreetly behind his uncle's back, an action he'd reciprocated thinking they'd see each other the next day. And then Aki had disappeared.  
They'd never shared their phone numbers or anything because of how close they lived, because they went to the same school and because they'd known each other since fourth grade. He'd asked where Akinari had gone, but his mother had told him she didn't know. He never called her out on it, even when he'd realized that was a very unlikely scenario since she'd been pretty close to her neighbours. He doesn't know why he didn't ask her again. Probably because if she felt the need to lie to him, it would mean something bad had happened; and he really didn't want that. And although John did get a facebook account soon after, he never found Akinari online.  
And now that he's found his friend again, Akinari won't tell him why he vanished.  
There must be a reason.  
John just lifts a hand to pat his friend's shoulder in silent understanding and support. Akinari glances at him, a bit surprised by how easy John is going on him, but when the blonde smiles at him softly his eyes flood with gratefulness and he smiles back. "You always were one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I feel like unexpectedly encountering an old friend is one of the best things, especially when you can show off said friend to your new friends. You get what'm sayin?  
> Anyways, thanks for reading and leave a comment if you feel like it!


	5. Chapter 5

Both of them decide to head back to the dorm when the clouds become purple and the shadows become a bit too chilly to stay outside in a T-shirt.  
John jumps down from the wall and looks up at his slower friend. "I was thinking, maybe we should grab something warmer and go out to eat? It's been forever since we've eaten out together."  
Akinari slides down as well. "Well, that sounds like a good idea, but I think it would be better to eat with the others since it's only the first day. We shouldn't keep to ourselves when we could get to know other people."  
"...You've got a point."  
"I hope you're not disappointed," smiles Akinari.  
"Oh no, don't worry about that! I like making friends, anyways. Besides, we have our whole lives to eat together, just the both of us."  
The brunette chuckles and pats his shorter friend's back. "Indeed we have, wise one."

When they part ways in the stairs, Akinari reaching his floor before John, they agree on getting each of their roomates to eat with them if they can.  
John finds himself feeling a bit anxious while he walks down the hall. What if Seithei is still mad at him for before? Now he thinks he was a bit too harsh with his roomate last night. Maybe Seithei didn't mean to be that snappy towards Lana. Maybe he was just tired and didn't really know how to explain himself afterwards. John himself had been a bit tired from the whole moving in thing...

He finds himself standing in front of his door and pushes down on the door handle, hoping that Seithei is there so he can apologize.  
The dark haired boy is indeed there, sitting in front of his desk with his knees pulled up under his chin. When he hears the door open, he looks up from what he's doing to stare at John. The blonde closes the door behind him and smiles sheepishly at his roomate. "Hey."  
Seithei doesn't answer right away, not before putting down his pencil and folding up the paper he was drawing on. "...Hey."  
John walks up to him and shuffles awkwardly. "Seithei... about yesterday... Sorry I was so testy."  
Seithei looks up and he seems a bit confused. "What? Why are you apologizing?"  
"Well, I mean, I shouldn't have gotten so worked up. Over that."  
Seithei shrugs a small shrug, as if he doesn't dare make a movement that could be too sudden. "...You shouldn't worry about that, it's my fault. I shoudn't have been so cold towards that girl. You did nothing wrong."  
"...Okay."  
John doesn't leave, however, and Seithei notices his hesitation. "Um... What is it, John?"  
"I don't really know how to say this, but... I still don't understand why you only want me to call you Tei. No offense, but I find it a bit weird."  
Seithei crosses his arms over his knees and sets his chin down on them. "I'm sorry for asking you strange things. Forget what I said the other day, it's okay if others call me Tei. I don't know why I reacted like that."  
John's not sure what to make out of that. It still seems weird to him what Seithei said yesterday, but when someone tells him they don't know why they did something, then he can't really say anything else. So he nods. "Okay."  
He then walks over to get his jacket while continuing to talk. "By the way, I'm eating with one of my friends and I was wondering if you wanted to come along."  
He hears Tei's chair creak behind him and when he turns around to face him, the dark haired boy is staring at him with wide eyes. "....Me?"  
John smiles. "Well, yeah. You're my roomate now, it's normal. Why do you always act so surprised whenever I suggest to do something together?"  
The other starts twisting the fabric of his shirt around his fingers again. "Um, well... No reason. I'll come."  
"Great, then hurry up, they're probably waiting for us already."  
"They?" questions Tei as he stands up.  
"Yeah, my friend Akinari and his roomate."  
"Oh, okay."  
Tei starts walking towards the door and John stops him, a bit puzzled. "Wait, aren't you going to take a jacket?"  
"Oh, it's fine. Don't worry John, I'm not that sensitive to cold." Then Tei pulls open the door. "Um... let's go?"  
John nods. "Yeah. I think they're waiting downstairs."

Both of them trudge down the stairs to join the others in front of the cafeteria, and while they do so John remembers something he wanted to tell Seithei.  
"Oh right, Tei, we should give each other our phone numbers."  
"Why?"  
"What do you mean, why? To communicate. It would be easier for us to agree on times to eat and stuff like that."  
"You... You mean you want to eat with me? Like, um, all the time?"  
"No, I mean not all the time but I think we'll be eating together a lot, won't we? I thought that was what roomates did a lot, but if you don't want to it's okay. I can eat with other people if you want to eat with friends."  
"No! No," Seithei rectifies right away, and when John looks at him with a surprised expression he realizes he was a bit loud just now. "Um, I mean it's okay, I'll eat with you."  
"Great." John pulls out his phone and looks at Seithei inquisitively. "So what's your number?"  
They exchange their numbers and then continue talking.  
"I was wondering, Tei, what department did you apply to?"  
"Um, computer science. Why does it interest you?"  
"I just wanted to know. I'm in Aeronautics and Astronautics."  
"I know."  
John frowns. "But I never told you."  
Seithei shrugs. "I saw you walking out of one of their courses."  
"Oh."  
They don't find anything to talk about anymore, so they walk in silence until they reach the pair of boys waiting for them.

Akinari is the first to catch sight of John and his roomate, and he starts waving and calling out to them across the crowd of students lining up to eat. John smiles back at him and nudges his distracted roomate in the arm to indicate the others' presence. Seithei spots them pretty soon but he doesn't show any change of expression and John doesn't insist.  
When they finally reach Akinari's side, he introduces them to his roomate, Louis, who's about the same height as Seithei but with a much brighter appearance. He briefly inclines his head when he's presented to the other two, saying it's nice to meet them. Seithei, however, remains as shy as ever and doesn't talk much when it's John's turn to introduce his roomate.  
Akinari and John let their roomates step a bit ahead of them and Aki looks at John, lifting an eyebrow as he nods towards Seithei, clearly intrigued by his awkward demeanor. John just shrugs.

They end up finding another group of interns while they're looking for a free table, and one of the group beckons to them when she sees them standing around. As the four of them sit down, John catches Seithei smiling at the girl. He recognizes her from yesterday morning, she was the one talking with Seithei during breakfast. So Seithei made a friend... those are rather good news.

Aki and him were supposed to eat with the others to get to know them, but in the end they speak with each other more than with the rest.  
At one moment John turns to Seithei, who is sitting to his right, and notices him staring a bit weird at Aki. It looks like he wants to talk to him, but doesn't dare to.  
"What's wrong, Tei?"  
The dark haired boy blinks and stares at John. "Um... nothing. Nothing's wrong."  
"You sure? You guys can talk you know, Aki's not going to bite your head off."  
Seithei gives a hint of a smile at those words. "Ah, I know." Then he notices that John keeps watching him and wriggles a bit under his insistent gaze. "Um... What is it?"  
The blonde seems to be taken aback and he reddens. "Oh, uh, sorry. I was just thinking you should smile a bit more. You look... better that way." Then he hesitates. "That might've been a bit rude, sorry."  
Seithei hides behind the bangs of his hair and mutters. "Thanks."  
John looks away, still blushing. "Yeah, no problem."  
Akinari watches the both of them with a half-smile on his face. _They're so awkward._

When they step out of the building, Louis suggests they all hang out in his and Aki's room to talk a bit more. "You're a cool dude," he tells John, "just like Aki. I want to give you guys something."  
"Sure, I'm in," says John. "What about you, Tei?"  
The dark haired boy shakes his head. "Um, no... I have to go do something."  
"Really? We don't have to stay long."  
"You can just stay a few minutes if you want," agrees Akinari.  
Seithei shuffles uneasily on his feet and doesn't answer. John watches him for a while, and when it's clear that Tei isn't saying anything else, he looks at the others. "Well, looks like he's got too much stuff to do. I'll go with you though."  
"Cool, then let's go." Louis nods towards Seithei. "See you, Tei."  
John sees Tei twitch slightly at that, but that's all that happens. _Weird._  
"Well, I'm going then. See you later, if you're not sleeping by then," says John.  
Tei nods and starts walking away.

"He's weird," murmures Louis.  
Neither Aki nor John answer him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I know things might be a bit boring right now, but as the tags indicate, it's a slow build. If you came for nasty business, you'll have to wait a bit. The creepy stuff starts happening around chapter 13, at least that's what I've got planned out. So hang tight!  
> Thanks for reading, and leave a comment if you feel like it.


	6. Chapter 6

"So, what is it you wanted to show us?" asks John in the staircase as he glances at Akinari. The brunette seems as clueless as he and just shrugs, watching Louis' back.  
"Nothing special, you'll see. But it's still pretty good."  
"Huh. Now I'm really curious."  
Louis looks over his shoulder and flashes both of them a grin. "Good."  
John smiles back and Aki starts talking. "So anyways John, do you know why Tei didn't come along?"  
"No, I thought it was pretty obvious that I had no idea... And I just met him this weekend, so we don't really tell each other what we do."  
Louis speaks up, this time without looking over his shoulder. "Well, we're probably better off that way. I get really funky vibes from him."  
Akinari shoots a glance at his roomate, then looks back at John. "...Maybe he's just really shy."  
John makes a face. "Well, there's that, but he can also act pretty strange. I mean, I don't think I should be saying this because I don't know him that well yet, but he can get really agressive without warning. Well, not really, I mean he doesn't get physical or anything, but he just gets all pissy for no reason sometimes."  
"Well, as long as he doesn't start punching people in the face, it's fine. Maybe he's shy _and_ moody."  
"Or maybe he's just weird," insists Louis. "Akinari, didn't you see how he was staring at you before?"  
"What?"  
"You didn't notice? He wasn't even trying to be subtle about it, like... he was just flat-out staring."  
John intervenes when he sees Aki's expression. "Yeah, I saw that too, but I think it's just that he didn't know how to start talking to you. Don't worry about it. I think he just has an... unorthodox way of interacting with others."  
"Whatever. I didn't want to spook you, Aki, don't get scared. He's not going to do anything to you, he looks way too socially awkward for that." Then Louis stops walking in front of a door and pulls out his key. "And here we are."  
He turns the key in the lock and the door opens, revealing a pale blue bedroom.

John steps in behind the two boys, still watching Aki from the back. That look he had on his face just now... It looks like he was extremely worried for a moment, disproportionately so, and it makes John wonder what that was all about. He has the feeling that his friend's reaction is linked to what happened during the few years where they lost each other, the thing Aki avoided telling him. And it seems Louis knows what happened, or at least the gist of it, judging from his words. But... why won't Aki tell John?  
_Well, he must have his reasons._  
Aki decides to sit on the ground and John follows suit, both of them watching Louis reaching for something under his bed. He pulls out a pack of beers and pushes it towards the other two with a wide grin on his face. "And there we have it!"  
John frowns. "I thought we weren't allowed to bring alcohol inside."  
Louis shows a mocking grin. "Oh, you're worried about getting caught?"  
"No, I'm not worried about getting caught, I'm wondering how you managed to sneak that in your room."  
The other boy winks. "Trade secret."

They spend the rest of the evening sitting around cans of beer, drinking and talking about why they're here and what they think of the place, of the other interns. John learns that Louis is in the same department as Tei, more out of spite towards his parents who wanted him to take up their business, than out of passion like John and Aki.  
"I'm in it for the money, heard it's the department that gets the highest starting salary. I mean, I'm smart enough to do engineering. I don't get why they want me to stay with them in their shabby restaurant when I could be earning big money and helping them out financially later on."  
John stays silent, he doesn't really know what to say. He's never had that problem.  
Akinari sighs. "Yeah, I wouldn't understand either if I were you. I don't get why some parents are so stubborn... Why they want to force their own will onto their children. Especially if their child is gifted with an ability to go further than them in life."  
"I don't think being gifted automatically means you can go further in life," intervenes John. "I mean, my mom's a secretary and my dad's a plumber and they're happy that way. They have old friends who're doctors and researchers and they don't all like the way they're living. One of them's super loaded but he's always complaining."  
Louis smiles at him. "Well, you've got a point, but I still think money's pretty cool." He takes another swig of beer and lowers the can, a pensive look on his face. "Their restaurant sucks anyways. It's probably going to go down soon. I hope I'll be working before it does, though."

John opens his mouth to speak again, but he's interrupted by the vibrating sensation of his phone in his pocket. He pulls it out, checking the caller ID, then looks back up at the two boys who're staring at him with inquisitive expressions.  
"Um, sorry guys. I have to pick up the call."  
Louis raises a teasing eyebrow. "Girlfriend?"  
"Well as a matter of fact, yeah, it is," answers John nonchalantly as he gets up.  
"Of course he has a girlfriend," groans Louis, dragging his hand over his face.  
Akinari smiles and chuckles. "It's John, he gets all the girls." His voice grows fainter as John steps out, but he can still hear him. "The guy's like a chick magnet, it's kind of impressive."

John shakes his head with a smile and steps further down the corridor, then slides his finger across the screen and brings the phone to his ear.  
"Hey Tay."  
"Hey John! You sound happy."  
"I am. I was looking forward to your call."  
"So how are things over there?"  
"Everything's going well. I got to meet Aki's- Hey, I didn't tell you! I found Akinari again!"  
"What?! No way!"  
"I never thought I would get to see him here, it's just so cool!"  
"Wow, now that's crazy. Especially considering you both made one of the best schools."  
"Yeah, I thought I'd be the only one still interested in aeronautics... I really didn't expect the both of us to follow our dreams. I didn't expect to find him again so soon. I didn't think..."  
Suddenly, without warning, John finally fully realizes what this means.  
He found Akinari.  
Against all odds.  
It _is_ a miracle. They had a one in a million chance to end up in the same school, and the same course, as interns.  
How long would it have been before finding his friend again otherwise? It could've taken a whole life.  
This is incredible.  
He's suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to cry.  
"John?" Taylor's tinny voice reaches his ear as he brings his hand to his mouth. "Why did you stop talking? What's wrong?"  
He doesn't know why his throat is so tight right now. Yes, he's overwhelmed with joy by the fact he found his friend again, but at the same time he feels like it's more than that. He also feels a bit sad.  
No, he knows why. It's because of that look Akinari has sometimes, those reactions that are just a little bit too strong to be normal. It's like he's found him, but at the same time he hasn't. Not completely, not totally. There are missing bits and pieces to his friend.

"John? Kitty, are you okay?"  
"Um, yeah," he answers quietly and draws in a shaky breath, "I'm fine. I think it's just... everything came rushing down on me just now."  
"I understand. It's okay, I'm here, and Akinari's there, and we're not leaving you anytime soon. Make sure to get his number this time, all right?"  
"Yeah. You're right, I will."  
He can hear her smile on the other end of the line. "Look, I have to hang up now, but I was thinking of coming over Saturday. I'll probably come in the morning, is that okay with you?"  
"Of course! Yes, it's completely okay! That'd be great!"  
"Then it's settled then. I'll come in the morning, that way we can eat breakfast together."  
"Well, I'm fine with it, but doesn't that mean you'll have to get up early? It's like... an hour and a half to come here from where you live."  
"John," Taylor chides him, "why are you even worrying about that? You know I don't mind."  
"Yeah, but, I mean, I do... I'm really happy you're coming over, it's just that I don't want you to be tired because of me."  
"If you're worrying about my job, don't worry, I'm tough enough. You should know most of all I don't get tired easily, right kitty?"  
John blushes. "I know, I know."  
"You're blushing."  
"No I'm not."  
"I can tell."  
"It's your fault, you know saying things like that makes me embarrassed!"  
"That's why I do it, kitty. By the way, have you been drinking?"  
"How do you know?"  
"Well, I can tell. Be careful, don't get in trouble in your dorm."  
"I only drank one or two beers, that's all."  
"Still, you know what alcohol does to you. Even I handle it better than you do," laughs Taylor. "I'm hanging up now, love you."  
"Love you too, Tay, see you Saturday."  
He hangs up, pockets his phone, and returns to Akinari's bedroom. The two boys are still sitting where they were before John left, but there are two new empty cans next to them. Louis notices him and lifts an unopened can of beer towards him.  
"Hey, Casanova's back. We almost missed you for five minutes."  
John smiles and refuses the drink with a shake of the head. "Sorry Louis, I'm not drinking anymore. I think I should go check on Seithei."  
"Oh come on man, you only drank like... two beers."  
"Well, that means there are more for you guys, right?"  
The brown haired boy shrugs. "Have it your way."  
Akinari merrily pats his roomate's shoulder. "Don't take it too hard, it's just that John's one of the biggest lightweights of all time. Three beers are enough to make him tipsy."  
"Probably because he's so short," snorts Louis, and John sighs.  
"Very funny. Anyways, it was good talking with you guys, but I'm gonna go now."  
"Sure," smiles Louis. "You can come back anytime, I'll always have something good for you under my bed."  
"You should really work on your phrasing, Louis, that sounded vaguely dirty," grins Akinari. Then he looks up at John. "Do you want me to go with you, maybe?"  
"No, it's fine, don't worry. I just want to check if Seithei's alone or not, I've been here for a while."  
Louis tilts his head. "He's a big boy, ya know, why're you so concerned if he's alone or not?"  
"Well, I just don't want him to be alone. I know I wouldn't like to be alone in my room while my roomate's having fun."  
"Okay, I get what your point is, but I don't think Seithei looks like the kind of guy that would mind being alone, though. And didn't he have something to do as well anyway?"  
"Yeah, but as I said, it's been a while. Maybe he's finished."  
Akinari stands up and steps up to the blonde, bumping his fist against his. "All right, see you tomorrow then."  
"Yeah, see you." John leans to the side and waves at Louis. "See you around."  
Louis waves back, then John turns around and leaves the room. The corridor's lights flicker to life and as the door softly closes behind him, he starts walking down the hall to join his roomate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Tay's a bit hard to write, considering she only appears via the phone as of now. I know I tend to find some girlfriend characters annoying myself, so I hope I'm writing her well enough.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	7. Chapter 7

When John steps in his room, he's not surprised to see that his roomate is already back. Seithei's head turns in his direction to glance at him, and then he goes back to his computer.  
The blonde closes the door behind him and says: "Hey."  
Seithei doesn't answer and keeps typing away.

John doesn't know what to make of Seithei's lack of reaction and he steps closer, thinking that maybe the other hasn't heard him.  
"Hey, Seithei."  
The deskchair swivels and Seithei faces John. "I heard you the first time you said it, you know."  
"Then why aren't you answering?"  
Seithei's eyes narrow. "I'm busy."

John stands there, a bit miffed by his roomate's behaviour, but despite his feelings he still tries to get the other on better speaking terms.  
"Is something wrong?"  
The dark-haired boy stares at him, then he seems to notice something and his eyes widen as he hunches up on himself. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was acting like that."  
"Are you... feeling alright?" John asks with a frown as he draws closer.  
Seithei nods quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking of something else. Everything's fine."  
"Okay..." John glances at the boy's computer. "What are you doing?"  
"...Stuff," answers Seithei evasively, and John gets the message. He backs off.

"Sorry I took so long with the others. What did you do while I was gone?" asks the blonde while he walks away from his roomate towards his own desk.  
Seithei's deskchair turns all the way back as the dark-haired boy's eyes follow John through the room. "The girl I was talking with earlier. She wanted to see my pet bugs, so I brought them to her and we talked."  
"What did you talk about?" asks John as he grabs his backpack and sits on the bed, crossing his legs over the covers.  
"Well, about the bugs. And about our classes and the people here. Other than that, nothing much."  
"How did she react to the bugs?"  
"She asked the same thing as you, if we were allowed to have those."  
"And you answered...?"  
"That I didn't care."  
"Oh."  
"She found it a bit weird, but it didn't seem to disturb her too much."  
John pulls out paper and a pen of his backpack. "Is she cute?"  
"Yes, but before you ask, I don't care much for her. She's boring."  
"Really? I thought you two were getting along well."  
"That doesn't mean I find her interesting."  
"...Oh."

John doesn't know what to add, and Seithei soon turns back to his desk. The sound of typing rises up again and the blonde understands that the conversation is over. He holds back a sigh and lowers his backpack to the ground, then gets off his bed to go sit at his desk. Once he's seated, he gives the exercice sheet he's holding a once-over. Doesn't seem impossible to do, but it doesn't look easy either. He thought the teacher would go easy on them since this was the first day, but the guy warned them from the start of the class that he would not be that kind of teacher, and then he gave them the problems from an exam that was two years old- told them to try it out. John flattens the sheet out on his desk and hunches over it, tapping the eraser end of his pencil against his lower lip as he reads out the first question.

Five minutes later, he's still reading the exact same line. John tries to concentrate on his work, but he keeps getting distracted by Seithei's typing and his own thoughts. It's just... so unsettling... how John can't wrap his head around his roomate's behaviour. The first impression John had gotten from his roomate when they'd met was that Seithei was a bit of a shy weirdo that wanted to be called Tei. Now, in the space of two days, John knew that Seithei was also prone to mood swings where he would be cutting and pretty much an asshole, without cause nor reason, and that Seithei held absolutely zero interest in John's person. He never asked anything about John, and whenever John tried to say anything about himself, either Seithei already knew, either John was left with the distinct impression that his roomate perceived the information as useless.  
The whole thing makes him feel slightly pissed and very disappointed. He really thought that, being roomates and all, he wouldn't be the only one to try and get to know each other. But it seems he was wrong about that.

It's always so grating talking with Seithei. A conversation with him is like trying to walk on a tightrope that's about to break at any moment. John never knows what to say to keep the conversation going and it always ends faster than he intends it to, and it doesn't help that Seithei rarely makes any efforts to talk about anything. John always has to initiate their chats. He has the feeling that their relationship will never be anything more than just living in the same room.   
John lets go of his pencil, which lands on his desk with a clatter, and presses his fingers to his eyes. He doesn't feel like working. He feels too annoyed for that.  
"Argh!" he spits out, messing up his hair with both hands and leaning back in his chair.  
The typing behind him stops, and he hears Seithei's soft voice speaking out behind him.  
"What's the matter?"

He turns around, half surprised to hear Seithei actually wondering about him, and he realizes he's been working himself up in silence for a good ten minutes. He smiles awkwardly and apologizes: "Sorry, I'm just- these math problems, man. So annoying."  
His roomate half-smiles awkwardly. "...Maybe I could help you. I'm pretty good at maths."  
John waves his hand around. "No, no, it's fine. I'm just not concentrated enough, that's why I'm not getting much done."  
"I'd like to try anyways, if you're okay with that," says Seithei shyly.  
"Okay," concedes the blonde. He hands over the sheet and watches Seithei as he reads it, wondering if they do the same kind of math despite being in different courses.  
"Can I... try to solve them?" asks the boy.  
"Sure, knock yourself out," shrugs John before grabbing his phone. "I'll just be here not being productive while you are."  
Seithei turns around without a word and closes his laptop before he starts studying the sheet.

John lowers his eyes to his phone's screen and checks his most recent messages.  
Tay. One new message. "Friend's cat got kittens. Thought about you."  
Lana. Nothing.  
Aki. Nothing.  
Mom. Nothing.  
Of course, none of his old friends have sent him anything. Not that he has, either.

John's thumbs hover over the keyboard shortly before tapping away an answer to Tay's message and hitting Send. Then he sends a message to Lana as well.  
___________________________________________________  
Lana  
\--------------------------------------------  
\- Sun -  
John: Here's my number :)

\- Mon -  
John: What are you up to right now?  
___________________________________________________

He receives an answer almost right away and smirks at Lana's answer before sending another message. Again, she answers almost instantly.

___________________________________________________  
Lana  
\--------------------------------------------  
\- Sun -  
John: Here's my number :)

\- Mon -  
John: What are you up to right now?  
Lana: I'm so booooooored the math problems suck  
and I don't wanna work  
John: Me neither. Seithei's doing mine for some  
reason...  
Lana: Great minds think alike, I'm also using Eli as a  
slave!  
___________________________________________________

John chuckles discreetly, and he talks with Lana for several more minutes before he hears a rustle coming from Seithei, and then a firm: "Done."  
He looks up from his phone, looking at Seithei with a puzzled expression.  
"What do you mean, done?"  
Seithei stands up and walks over to return the math sheet.  
"I mean I'm finished with your problems. You want my answers?"  
John gawks at him. "You can't be serious. No way that's all correct."   
His roomate also hands him a paper with a few scribbles littered over it and shrugs. "Well, you'll see when they give you the right answers."  
The blonde grabs the sheet, his eyes flitting over the lines of ink.  
"You didn't even write out the calculations, how did you..."  
"It takes up too much time writing out the calculations."  
"There were three problems! Are you making fun of me? How are two lines each supposed to be right answers?"  
Seithei smiles at him, and there's a superior glint in his eye that John didn't think his roomate could have. "Beats me. There are enough numbers in there to be satisfying answers, though. You should get all the points."  
John lowers the paper in his lap and stares defeatedly at Seithei's back as the boy returns to his desk and opens his laptop back up. No way this is real. Seithei's probably making fun of him. Surely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it.


	8. Chapter 8

"No way this is real," breathes John.  
Both Lana and Akinari's heads swivel towards him. The teacher's chalk continues hitting the board as he writes out the answers to the math problems, and only half of the class is paying attention to the man's explanations, the other half doodling on their notebooks, giggling in hushed tones or looking out the window.  
"This isn't real," repeats John as his eyes go back and forth between Seithei's scribbled answers and the teacher's correction. It can't be right. Each of the teacher's calculations end with the same conclusion as Seithei's, give or take two or three words. 

Akinari leans over and glances at the piece of paper in John's hand. "What are you talking about?"  
"Wow," says Lana as she peers at it. "You got it all right! Genius you!"  
"No," answers John as he shakes his head. "I didn't write this, this isn't my paper. It's Seithei's."  
"Hey, did you even try in the end?" asks Lana with a teasing smile. "I know I didn't."  
John doesn't answer, still dumbfounded by Seithei's writings. "Guys, I saw Seithei do the math problems. He finished the whole thing in eight minutes tops, and... well, do you notice anything weird?"  
Akinari shrugs. "Not really."  
"He didn't even write down the operations!"  
"You mean he did it all in his head?" frowns his friend, disbelief etched all over his face.  
"I know, I didn't believe it either- I thought he was just joking or something, but it's all correct!"  
Lana pulls the sheet of paper out of John's hands. "Wow. Is he, like, the next Einstein?"  
Akinari doesn't seem convinced. "He cheated. There's no way he did that so fast." His gaze lands on the board. "I mean, there are tons of operations, how can one do all three problems in their head? I call BS."  
"You don't have to believe it, but I know I do."  
"It's amazing, what if he's the ultra-smart boss of some organization which recruits geniuses to secretly rule the world or something?"  
"Lana, what the fuck are you going on about?"  
"Sorry, my imagination. I'll calm down now."  
"Guys, seriously, I feel like I'm supposed to do something. Why is he here when he could be in an elite school?"  
"Well, our school is already pretty good. Besides, maybe he didn't want to be in an elite school. Maybe he doesn't want to play the part of the mathematical genius."  
"He looked pretty proud of himself last night."  
"I bet, I mean I would've shoved my genius right down your throat if I had any, just to show how much of a boss I am!"  
"Sure, Lana, sure."  
"Hey, the lot of you," barks the teacher from the front of the class.  
The three students straighten and realize they've been talking a bit loud, and that most of the people in the classroom are staring at them. The teacher flips a piece of chalk with his hand while staring them down.  
"Look, I'm very happy that you got the problems right, but don't disturb my class. Else I'm kicking your butts out. Understood?"  
They nod, and the man turns around to continue writing on the board. Soon every head in the class is staring at the front of the class again, and the three friends exchange glances.  
"Still," whispers Lana. "So cool."  
_

That evening, upon returning to his room, John isn't surprised to see Seithei hunched over his laptop at his desk. His roomate seems even less talkative than usual, as he doesn't even glance towards him when the door opens.  
"Hey," says John.   
"I don't want to talk about it," says Seithei softly, his gaze never leaving the computer's screen.  
John stops dead in his tracks, surprised. "Talk about what?"  
"The math problems. I told you I was right, you didn't believe me, now you believe me and you want to tell me I'm smart. Well, I know that, and I know what conversation we're going to have if we do, and that's boring, so I don't want to talk about it."  
"...Oh." John scratches the side of his head. "...Okay. I guess."  
He closes the door behind him, studying Seithei. "I think that's the first time I've heard you say so many words in one sentence."  
Seithei finally looks at him. "Really."  
"Yeah, really," answers John with a smile. "I thought you were allergic to long sentences, but I guess you just prefer short ones."  
"I guess so," answers Seithei, and he smiles at the blonde for a short while before hiding behind his curtain of black hair.

John then walks to his side of the room. Seithei definitely has a weird manner of interacting with others, but maybe if John came to understand it... Maybe they could become friends. Real roomates.  
He pulls the chair back and sits down, takes out his lessons from his bag and starts to read.

John and Seithei each do their thing in a quiet atmosphere until John's phone buzzes on his bed. He looks at the screen from where he is and sees that the message icon has popped up. Dropping his pencil on the desk - he hadn't realized he'd picked it up in the first place -, he walks to the bed and picks up the phone, checking the name of the sender. Lana.  
He looks over at his roomate. "Seithei."  
The other doesn't react, but John guesses that his roomate probably heard him.  
"Lana's asking if we want to eat with her."  
"Me too?" asks Seithei, turning around to look at John with a surprised expression.  
"Yeah. She's not mad at you, you know."  
"I thought I was pretty rude with her last time."  
"You were, but she's cool with it."  
"Oh."  
"She's bringing her roomate with her. You don't have to come if you don't want to."  
"...Yeah, I'd rather stay here..."  
"Do you dislike her?"  
Seithei shrugs and averts his eyes. "I don't dislike her, but I don't like her either..."  
"I see," answers John. Then he turns around to grab his stuff. "Well then, I'm going."  
Seithei watches him don his shoes and jacket, and head towards the door. As John's hand lands on the handle, the blonde turns around.  
"You sure you don't want to come?"  
Seithei nods.  
"Okay... Well, see you."  
"Yeah."  
_

John trudges down the stairs alone, crossing a laughing group of interns on the way and two other lonely individuals. He recognizes one from the day before, and it seems to be mutual as the guy gives him a curt nod of the head. John smiles at him, and then remembers the name: Gaby. Right. The one he ate breakfast with on Monday.  
However the tall boy's eyes revert to the phone he's holding and he doesn't stop to talk, walking right past him. John has to remind himself that he's the one who's a bit too social, and that it probably didn't mean anything. He continues down the stairs and reaches the hall, and it doesn't take long for him to catch sight of Lana's purple hair.  
He didn't expect her to be with Akinari and Louis, however.

"Hey, you're finally here! Seithei didn't want to come with you?" exclaims Lana with her eternal smile.  
"No..." John shakes his head. "You know how he is. I didn't know Aki and Louis were eating with us, though, so that's cool."  
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you."  
"She sent me a message," says Akinari as he nears the blonde.  
Louis's hand lands John's shoulder and pushes him forward. "Come on, I'm fucking hungry. Just stop talking and let's go, 'kay?"  
"Sure," answers John.   
They start walking and as the girls take the lead, Akinari turns to him. "So, did Seithei say anything about his hidden talents?"  
John shrugs. "It wasn't really hidden in the first place, I think he wanted to show me he was smart. I mean, I didn't ask him for anything, he's the one who suggested doing my math problems."  
"Show-off," snorts Louis.  
John doesn't disagree, and neither does Akinari. The blonde continues: "He didn't want to talk about it, so I don't get why he did it. He actually said quote on quote that talking about it was useless since he already knew that he was smart."  
"Wow. That sounds like a bit too much ego for one person."  
Akinari glances at his roomate, then at John. "He does sound a bit arrogant..."  
The blonde shrugs. "Well, I don't mind it that much, it's just that you shouldn't expect me to tell you about Seithei. I don't know a whole lot about him."  
"That's kind of depressing," says Louis. "Don't you guys talk about stuff?"  
"I try. It's not working."  
"Aw, John," says Akinari as he pats his friend's back, "don't look so sad. It'll get better, maybe it's just his new life overwhelming him."  
"Maybe," answers John, but he doesn't seem convinced.  
"I doubt it," intervenes Louis. "I mean the guy is _weird_. He's in my class, y'know? Yesterday he was acting like an antisocial douche and today he wouldn't even talk. He's like that with everyone except the teacher, so she doesn't know what's going on with him, and he never cracks a single smile whenever we try to talk to him. Weird, I tell you."  
"Louis, you're not helping," sighs Akinari.  
"It's fine, I think I'm getting used to it. Sometimes I feel like we could actually go somewhere," intervenes John.  
"You can always ask for a different roomate if nothing changes, right?" inquires Akinari.  
"Yeah. That's what I heard," confirms Louis.  
John shakes his head. "No, I'm sure we'll turn out okay. It's like you said, Aki, it's probably because of the start of the year. He just needs to get his bearings, I guess. We should stop talking about him."  
His friend nods. "I agree. We'll just see how it works out with the guy, until then, maybe I should tell you about how Louis nearly got himself caught with beer in our room."  
Louis turns on him and puts his hand over Aki's face. "Shh, stop talking. He doesn't need to know."  
John raises an eyebrow and smiles in spite of his best efforts not to. "How did that happen?"  
Akinari pulls his roomate's hand away and grins widely. "He was talking about it with a friend and a teacher was standing right behind them. I think you know how discreet Louis can be when he talks."  
John looks at Louis. "Really dude? I thought you were a pro about smuggling alcohol, what kind of amateur misake is that?"  
"You're making it sound like I'm the mafia or something," groans Louis. "Not my fault the teacher heard, the guy dragged me in the hall to talk about it. It's not the best place in the world for that kind of talk."  
"Haha, you tell me. That was a stupid move," chuckles Akinari.  
"So what happened then?" inquires John curiously.  
Louis crosses his hands behind his head. "Well the other guy bailed while I was trying to talk my way out of it, but he wasn't a complete asshole and actually told Aki about it."  
Akinari proudly looks at John. "So I went there and-"  
"He fucking threw the beer away," says Louis with an exasperated sigh. "He just put the beer in his bag and then went in the street to throw it away."  
"Hey, I didn't throw it away, I gave it to the hobo down the street!" exclaims Akinari defensively.  
"Oh yeah, good job supporting the drunk habits of a poor homeless dude," retorts Louis sarcastically.  
"I didn't waste it, it made him happy," insists Akinari.  
"At least you didn't get caught by the watch guard," intervenes John. Then he looks over at Louis and adds: "And you didn't get in trouble thanks to Aki."  
The brown-haired boy shrugs. "Sure, I guess. I already told him I owed him one."  
"You should still be careful, that teacher's onto you now," says Akinari.  
"It's fine, it's fine. I'll watch out from now on."  
"It's the beginning of the year, Louis. You should've watched out from the start."  
"Hey, are you my mom? No! So stop acting like it, will ya?"  
John watches the exchange silently. It's funny how Louis has an accent that comes out when he's angry.  
Akinari raises his hands in surrender. "Dude, chill. I just want to make sure you don't get in any more trouble. I don't want to be involved in this kind of thing."  
"Yeah, okay, I get it. Sorry," concedes Louis.  
"Hey, guys, what are you doing?" yells Lana from inside the building.  
The boys' heads turn towards her voice and they start walking again. They hadn't even realized that they'd stopped walking during Louis' story.  
"Fuck, I'm hungry," swears Louis. "And I was the one to tell you guys to shut up and walk in the first place."


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the first week of classes goes on by without any notable change of character for Seithei, except that John doesn't see him hang out with the girl anymore. Whenever classes are over, his roomate seems to spend his time in their room, on his computer. John never sees him with his notes or lessons, never sees him study. It's like the only things that count for Seithei are eating, his bugs and his computer. He could be a gamer, but when John glances at his roomate's laptop, he doesn't see much action going on there. Most of the time, it seems to be text. He doesn't know what Seithei does on his free time, and he knows he shouldn't ask.

On thursday, their aerodynamics teacher tells them about an assignment they're supposed to finish by the end of october, so in about a month and a half, and that they're supposed to do it in groups of two. At the teacher's words, John sees both of his friends' heads turn to him, but Akinari immediately backs off and tells Lana she can pair up with John if she wants to. Surprisingly, Lana refuses and insists that the boys should be together for the assignment.  
"You guys have known each other for longer, I'm sure you'll do a better work together!" she exclaims, before turning around and grabbing the wrist of the person behind her. A boy, rather good looking, and alone. A great catch, probably, thinks John.  
Akinari seems to be thinking the same as him, because he leans over to the blonde and whispers: "You think she planned that from the start?"  
John turns to him and half-smiles. "She probably knew we'd want to pair up, so she looked for someone she'd like to be with. I think she did plan to ask that guy, even before the teacher spoke about an assignment."  
"Smart. I didn't think she could think so far ahead."  
"I know I wouldn't even have thought about the possibility of an assignment," agrees John. He turns around to look at Lana cheerily chatting the boy up. "I don't think she's going to leave him much of a choice."  
"Do you think she's interested in him?" asks Akinari.  
John looks at him. "What, are you jealous?"  
Akinari gives him a light punch in the arm. "Shut up."

Friday goes by smoothly as well, and finally Saturday rolls around. That morning upon waking up, John lunges to the end of his bed and grabs his phone laying on the desk to check his messages.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
Tay  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
John: Sure, okay. :)  
Tay: See you tomorrow  
John: Yup, see you tomorrow.  
John: I love you.  
Tay: I love you too, Kitty. Good night <3  
John: G'night <3  
\-----7:53----  
Tay: I bet you aren't awake yet  
Tay: I'm right, aren't I?  
Tay: Thought so  
Tay: Anyways good morning, can't wait for  
us to see each other  
\--------------------------------------------------------------

He chuckles quietly and he immediately starts typing away his answer. Tay's such an early riser compared to him. The thought makes him glance at his still sleeping roomate, who seems to be a pretty heavy sleeper during weekends. John knows he himself is a snorer yet the other has the same position as last night, so he probably hasn't moved around in his bed. John hopes it means his snores didn't wake up his roomate. The blonde goes back to sending his message and puts it back on the table, before grabbing his towel and heading to the shower.

Ten minutes later, steam is rolling out of the shower and out of the open window, covering the square mirror of the bathroom as the boy's humming reverberates off the lime and white tiles of the walls. The undulating shower curtain is a waxy apple green, and John finds the attention the school has to color details very nice. This dorm seems to be pretty recent, from what he's seen. Sometimes he snatches a glimpse of the other guys' assigned color and he quickly comes to understand that the boy's dorm is in shades of blue, cyan and green, whilst the girl's dorm is in shades of purple, mauve and pale pink.

The curtain draws back and he steps out, a shiver running up his spine when his feet touch the cold floor. The fresh morning air caresses his steaming skin, the feeling very pleasant and invigorative. As he extends his arm to reach his towel next to the bathroom shelf, he notices something off with his belongings sitting around his side of the sink. He can't quite put his finger on it, but he doesn't give it a second thought, because he's got other things to think about. Like Taylor.  
He rubs his skin dry and wraps the towel around his waist, staring at his reflection, then runs his hand through his hair to pull it back. His eyes slide down to his stuff on the sink again.  
Gel. Soap. Toothbrush. Toothpaste. Glass. Comb.  
He still can't put his finger on it, and it's like that frustrating feeling he gets when he opens the fridge looking for something and can't find it, even when it's right in front of his nose. He gives up and leans to the side of the sink, grabbing his clothes before striding back out of the bathroom.

Seithei is still sleeping when he steps up to his phone, and John gazes at him pensively. The guy looks pretty peaceful when he's sleeping, and he wonders what's got him acting so weird during the day. How long does he sleep on weekends, anyway? Does he ever even move in his sleep?  
He looks away and checks the time on his phone, a new message popping up on the screen. A smile slips on his face as his eyes run across Taylor's reply.  
She's right, he should hurry up. He answers back, telling her where they'll meet, and sets the phone back down. Considering that she's driving and that the city's pretty full on weekends, she'll probably be here in about half an hour.  
_

As John pushes the door to the nearest café, a bell jingles in his ear and the delicious smell of fresh pastries wafts up to his nose. The lady behind the counter smiles and says hello to him, and he nods to her while he answers. "I'll be taking something, but I'm waiting for someone."  
She tells him somewhat tersely that it's fine and gestures towards the nearest table for him to sit down. He complies, taking his phone out to check his messages.

\----------------------------------------------------  
Lana  
\----------------------------------------------------  
\-------9:47-----  
Lana: You got something to do today?  
\----------------------------------------------------

He taps his answer on his phone, wondering what she wants. Did she want to hang out?

\----------------------------------------------------  
Lana  
\----------------------------------------------------  
\-------9:47-----  
Lana: You got something to do today?  
John: Yeah, why?  
\----------------------------------------------------

Then he goes to check Taylor's messages. The doorbell jingles again while he reads the new message.

\----------------------------------------------------  
Tay  
\----------------------------------------------------  
\------8:58-----  
John: Hey! I'm awake :D  
Tay: Hello little kitty  
Tay: Are you under the shower?  
Tay: You should hurry up, or we're going to  
be spending less time together  
John: Coming! Breakfast?  
Tay: Sure, where?  
John: I looked it up, there's a pastry shop  
down my street :)  
Tay: Okay, see you

\-----10:01-----  
Tay: I'm here  
\---------------------------------------------------- 

He feels air flow across his nape, sweet perfume trailing in its wake, and someone slides in the booth across him. He lifts his eyes off his phone and looks at the young girl who just sat in front of him. Long brown hair, pretty grey eyes, tan skin and pearly teeth between delicate pink lips.  
He smiles fondly at her. "Hey."  
"Hey." Her soft voice sticks with the moving charm of her body. She takes off her jacket, revealing a fitting caramel top. A thin gold necklace sparkles around her neck. "I missed you."  
He puts away his phone, reaching out to hold her hand. "Me too, Tay. I really wanted to see you."  
"Haha. I know." Her eyes glitter with mischief. "I could hear it in your voice every time you called."  
"Really? Am I that obvious?"  
"You have no idea," she laughs. Both of them then fall silent for a moment, taking in the other's presence, John's thumb drawing soft circles on the back of her hand.  
The woman at the counter calls out to them, a forced smile on her lips. "Hey you two, are you taking something?"  
John snaps out of it and turns to her, Tay doing the same from her side of the table. "Oh, sure, sorry. I'll take a muffin. Do you have blueberry?"  
The lady nods and her attention shifts to the young girl next to the blonde. "And what will you have, young lady?"  
Tay smiles at her, a charming smile she knows how to pull off best. "A croissant, please, miss."  
The lady smiles back, a bit more genuine than before. "All right. That'll be 2.35, please."  
John stands up to pay, but his girlfriend holds him back by the arm gently. "I'll pay, John."  
He looks back at her, surprised. "Why?"  
"Because I want to," she says. "You're the one who's had a recent change in his life. Think of it as a reward for adapting so well."  
"Well, you're the one who had to drive for an hour this morning, so I think it's only fair that I should be the one to pay for breakfast. Wouldn't you agree?"  
She brings her hand to his cheek, pulling him gently in for a kiss on the lips, and grins happily at him. "You're such a cutie, John. All right, I give up, but I'm paying you lunch then."  
He grins in turn, a bit cockily, before turning around. "I knew you'd let me."  
She watches him draw up to the lady with the coins in hand, her eyes lovingly checking out his butt. He never fails to make her happy, and every time that happens she surprises herself hoping this relationship will last forever, as cliché as that sounds. He makes her feel things she's never felt for another boy. One could pretty much say he's the perfect boyfriend, too: good-looking, loving, nice, optimistic, smart, you name it.  
Then John turns around and smiles widely at her, brandishing the pastries like some kind of trophy, and she chuckles softly. Oh how she loves this dork.

They spend the rest of the day together hanging out in the neighbourhood, and John soon brings Taylor to a place he wanted to visit with her: the fountain. A place of couples and families, of coins shining under the rippling surface of the water, of wishes, bright light and green leaves.  
He's heard about it even before moving in the boarding school, it's a pretty famous spot in the city, and not to far from where he lives now.  
When they step in the square, he feels Taylor's hand tighten around his own. The place is incredible, filled with light which bounces off the many windows of the buildings surrounding it and the clear tiles on the ground. There are a lot of children, of parents, of strollers, of friends in groups, adults and teens alike, and of couples. There's a man selling candy, ice cream, waffles and other treats in a trailer, and not too far from him there's also a pizza/hot-dog place on wheels.  
The young couple decides to sit on a bench between the fountain and the playground, and they hold hands wordlessly, gazing at the laughing children and chatting mothers.

They feel happy.

They've missed each other a lot, and now that they're sitting close together, it feels like words are too superficial to express their feelings. The mere presence of the other next to them is reassuring enough for the both of them.  
After a while of silent appreciation, Taylor turns to John and asks him about his life here. They talk about John for a bit, then the focus shifts to Taylor. They talk about her brothers, about her commercial school, about her part-time job at the convenience store, about her upcoming swimming competition. She sighs longingly.  
"I wish you'd kept swimming... Remember how good you were?"  
"Hey, I'm still pretty good at swimming!" exclaims John defensively, and she pulls a skeptical face.  
"Come on, John, you're not telling me that you think you could beat me in a race? Because we both know you would not."  
"Well, okay," he concedes. "I'm a bit rusty, but I'm still faster than the average swimmer."  
"Not fast enough for me, kitty," she smiles at him. "My time's gotten even better."  
"Really? But you were already so quick..."  
"What can I say, I want to be the best and I'm reaching my goal. 59 seconds, baby," she beams while pointing both her index fingers at him with a wink.  
"On the 100 metres freestyle? Holy shit," says John in amazement. "I really didn't think you could get a shorter time."  
Taylor lowers her arms to the bench and leans away from him, cocking her head to the side. "Well, I did it. You know, I could really go for some action right now. Wanna hit the pool?"  
"I was afraid you'd never ask," grins John.  
"And then I'd like a different kind of action, if you catch my drift."  
Tay's doing that signature half-smile of hers again, the really very horny kind of smile, and John can feel his face burning up almost instantly.  
"Taylor!" he hisses in a whisper, looking around frantically. "Don't say that kind of thing here! What if someone hears you?"  
"Oh c'mon, John, stop acting like a virgin. It's fine, no one listens to us," she answers as she waves his worries away with a wide grin. Then she leans forward, her lips very close to his ear, and adds: "You know, we could just skip the pool. I've been waiting for a long time."  
John's face is so warm he knows his skin must be practically glowing from the heat, and he just nods wordlessly. Taylor pulls back and smiles at him, then grabs his hand to help him up.  
"Come on. How about you spend the night over at my house?"  
"Um, yeah, sure," he stutters, before remembering something. "I just need to sign the register so they know I'm not there over the weekend. You know, just in case something happens, so they don't need to look for me when I'm not there in the first place."  
"Sure!" she answers happily. "I'll go get the car and then I'll pick you up in front of your school."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> What do you think of Taylor?  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	10. Chapter 10

When Taylor brings John back to the school Sunday evening, he feels better than ever before, like his batteries were recharged over the weekend. It's like he's got a glowing halo around him and nothing can stop him from feeling happy.  
Even Seithei's silence when he enters their room.  
His complete and utter silence.

When John comes in, the dark-haired boy glances at his roomate, but that's the extent of his reaction. No matter what John says, he doesn't answer.  
John figures Seithei is mad at him, but he's not sure why. Is it because he left over the weekend without warning him? John has to admit, he might be in the wrong there.  
Seithei isn't the only problem. Lana hasn't answered his last text to her, so maybe she's mad as well. John has no idea what he's done to rile everyone up.  
He quickly abandons the idea of getting Seithei to respond and leaves the bedroom to go find Lana, hoping he hasn't done anything wrong.

When he knocks on Lana's door, Elizabeth is the one who shows up in the doorway. When she recognizes him, she smiles at him and says: "Hi."  
He smiles back. "Hi. Is Lana here?"  
She nods and looks over her shoulder. "Lana! It's for you." Then she turns back to him and waves him inside.  
He steps in and sees Lana sit up on her bed with a cheerful grin on her face. "Hey! John!"  
She doesn't look mad. In fact, it looks like she's happy to see him.  
He walks closer and says: "Hey Lana. Did you receive my message Saturday?"  
She looks confused. "What message?"  
"You know, when you asked me if I had anything planned-"  
"Oh right! Right, _that_ message! Yeah, I got it, why?"  
"...Well, you didn't answer. And then you didn't answer my other messages either, so I thought I might've done something wrong..."  
Lana's eyes widen and she leans forward, shaking her head. "Oh, no! No, it's totally my fault! I forgot to answer you, and then I lost my phone somewhere in my covers and I'm too lazy to look for it."  
John raises an eyebrow and points to the side of the bed, against the wall, where there's a small bump under the covers. "Isn't that...?"  
Her eyes follow his finger's trajectory and she exclaims: "Oh, you found it! Thanks!"  
John shoots her an _are you kidding me_ look and asks: "Really?"  
She looks up at him. "Yeah, really. Ask Eli, she'll tell you how exasperating I can get. She went near nuts because of me, ask her!"  
John looks behind him to stare at Eli, who's sitting at her desk with a smile on her face. "I went near nuts because of her."  
"See?"  
John laughs and shakes his head. "On second thought, I don't feel even remotely surprised by this."  
The purple-haired girl digs her phone out of the covers and checks the screen. "Oops. I missed a lot." Then she squints at it. "You sent me three messages after the first one?"  
"Uh, yeah," answers John sheepishly.  
"Hmm... Wow, were you really that worried that I was mad?"  
He shifts in place. "...Kinda."  
She throws her phone to the side and hops off her bed, then steps up to John and merrily pats both his shoulders. "Don't you worry! I couldn't be mad at you, especially if it's for no reason! Sorry you were worried because of me, I'll try to be more careful next time, 'kay?"  
"Uh, yeah, sure," stutters John, surprised by her sudden proximity.  
Then she withdraws and walks over to her chair, whipping her knit jacket off the chair. "Hey, how about we go outside for a bit? Let's eat takeout! What do you say, Eli?"  
The brown haired girl considers it for a moment, then nods. "Why not? I'm a bit bored anyway."  
"John?" inquires Lana.  
The blonde nods as well. "Sure. Oh and, don't tell me to ask if Seithei wants to come, he's in a bad mood."  
Lana shrugs. "I wasn't going to ask you that."  
"You were," insists John with a half-smile.  
Lana looks at him and then rolls her eyes. "Okay, yeah, I was. Let's go?"

John sends a message to Akinari to ask him if he and Louis want to come as well, and the five of them end up eating chinese food in the boys' room. They talk, and eat, and drink a little.  
Louis gets his shirt dirty because he tries to eat with his chopsticks but fails miserably. He gets a bit loud over it, and his cussing (notably when he says "chucking fopsticks" instead of "fucking chopsticks") makes the others laugh until they nearly piss themselves, probably also partly due to the beer in their system. Eli doesn't drink, but she laughs just as hard, to the point of tearing up a little.  
They stay there an hour, and then two, and Eli is the first one to go, closely followed by Lana. John stays a little while longer to catch up on Akinari and Louis' weekend, and then he gets up to go as well, but not before cleaning up the room with them.

When he gets back to his room, he tries to speak to Seithei again, but his roomate remains silent. It creeps John out a little. He feels like he doesn't exist to Seithei right now. He didn't know the guy could hold grudges like that over such little things.  
He gives up again and goes to shower.

On Monday, Seithei keeps acting the same. John can't even ask him what's wrong, because when he tries to he feels like he's talking to a brick wall.  
Tuesday isn't any different.

John talks about it with Lana and Akinari, and they try to find reasons why his roomate would be acting so strangely, but even as they do that they seem rather doubtful.  
"Do you really think he's mad at you just because you didn't tell him you were leaving for the weekend? I mean, it's your life... Why would your absence make him angry?" wonders Lana. "It's not like you two are bestest buddies. He barely even tries."  
Akinari ventures: "Maybe he's got problems of his own."  
"Yeah but why would he be angry at me for his problems?" asks John, and Akinari shrugs.  
"Don't know. Just trying to figure him out."  
They don't come up with any satisfying reason for Seithei's behaviour in the end.

This goes on for another two days before Seithei starts talking to John again. It's not much, just a simple "hey" when John enters the room, but to the blonde it comes as a great surprise.  
And then Seithei starts acting like he did before, as if all of the four previous days of silence never happened. When John asks him about it, he just says: "I was a bit upset."  
That's it. There's no further explanation.  
John tries to get more details, but he doesn't get any.

And the week goes by.  
He spends another weekend with Taylor, and this time he doesn't forget to tell Seithei. His roomate just shrugs when he tells him about it.  
John tells Taylor about Seithei, and she asks him if he's really sure things will get better between the both of them. John doesn't know what to answer, because he's not so sure anymore. The more days go by, the more he feels like he and Seithei are meant to be distant. Taylor then tells him that if ever things get hairy between the two, he can change roomates, right? So he shouldn't worry about it.  
John smiles at her and closes his eyes, letting her stroke his hair so he can forget Seithei and focus on the tranquil atmosphere of Taylor's bedroom.

Akinari and him start their project for good, two weeks after the aerodynamics teacher announces its existence.

On Tuesday of the third week, John finally realizes that his nailcutter is missing.  
It doesn't take long for it to hit him. The thing that felt off on the sink last time. That was it.  
He's sure he put it there, where could it have gone? He turns around, calling out to his roomate.  
"Hey, Seithei?" He hears the other grunt in acknowledgment. "Have you seen my nail cutter? It was on the sink."  
Seithei's soft reply wafts into the bathroom. "No."  
"Weird..." John mutters to himself.  
He turns over his bags, his drawers, his closet trying to find it, but the thing is gone.  
In the end, he goes to buy a new one in a nearby drugstore.

He gets used to the routine in the school.  
Morning: get dressed, eat breakfast with whoever he meets there: it's often Gaby, sometimes with Lana, never with Seithei. Seithei doesn't eat breakfast.  
Lunch: eat with Akinari.  
Dinner: eat with Akinari, Louis, Lana, Eli, occasionally Seithei.  
Evening: work, or go out with the usual group, or hang out in Akinari and Louis' room.  
Weekend: either stay at the dorm with Lana and Louis, since Akinari goes home over the weekend, or spend the weekend with Taylor.

Another week passes by, and John is still unsettled by the bugs in Seithei's jar, and troubled by his roomate's antipathy. There are some instances where Seithei acts civilized, but the rest of the time he's in his bubble of usual typing and being an ass.  
John doesn't see him smile again. It's like Seithei doesn't care to use his facial muscles, because he just keeps the same indifferent expression all the time. The shy, timid Seithei of the first week has disappeared, and John understands that his mood swings were indeed his roomate getting used to the place. Now he's just a constant antisocial douche through and through.  
John gives up on trying to make Seithei his friend. He feels like he's being tolerated more than appreciated.

Luckily for him, he's got Lana and Akinari to make up for his crappy roomate. Especially Lana. Her cheery behaviour is very contagious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Just a bit of forwarding, and Seithei slowly not giving a single crap anymore. He's a weirdo.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	11. Chapter 11

"So... what happened to you?"  
John points towards Lana's face, where a purple bruise blossoms along her jaw.  
"Oh, didn't I tell you? I do boxing!" she exclaims cheerfully.  
He quirks an eyebrow in a doubtful expression. "You? You do boxing?"  
She rolls her eyes, her mouth tightening in a pout. "Of course you don't believe me. Cause I'm so small and cute and stuff, I couldn't possibly do boxing, now could I."  
He lifts his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
She grins, tilting her head to the side. "Yeah, you better be careful, or I might sock you right in the kisser!"  
He crosses his arms to protect his ribs in case she decides to jab them again. "Please don't."  
She waves the thought away, grinning widely. "Don't worry, it was a joke. But you know, I'm actually the best in my boxing class!"  
"Really?" John has a hard time believing that, but she's probably not lying. "Wow."  
"Yeah, I know, it's impressive."  
John chuckles. "Very. Can I ask you a question?"  
"You already did."  
"Why'd you choose that sport?"

She brings her hands together behind her back and looks away. "Well... It's kind of weird. I mean, I actually have a pretty common reason but some people still find it weird sometimes."  
"You can tell me, I won't judge. I don't care how others usually react."  
She smiles. "I like the way you think." Then she starts gesturing as she explains. "Well you see, I got in trouble a lot when I was a kid, used to beat up any elementary student who pissed me off, and it happened a lot! I got suspended and kicked out of schools all the time until 9th grade, so in the end one of the counselors suggested I practice some kind of fighting sport. He didn't say boxing, but that was the sport I liked the most. My parents _really_ didn't like the idea, we used to yell at each other a lot until they accepted it. It's probably the best choice they've ever made though, cause I've only gotten in one fight since then."  
"That's really cool!" John says, ever the enthusiast, and if Lana could smile any wider she would.  
"I know, right! It's really satisfying to hit people without getting in trouble for it, too!"  
"Well, yeah, I guess, that's not really what I was talking about. I was rather talking about the fact that it helped you channel your anger, but sure, that works too."  
"Oh." After a small moment of silence, Lana giggles compulsively. "Yeah, it sure is cool that it helped me with my anger issues. By the way, now that we're talking about boxing, it reminds me there's a boxing gala this weekend, and I'm participating. You wanna come and see? That way you'll believe me for real."  
"But I do believe you!"  
"No you don't," she states with a playful swat aimed at his arm. "Nobody does until they see me fight. Stop lying, it doesn't suit you."  
"I do believe you, but sure, I'll come. I don't know if I'll find the place even if you tell me, though."  
"It's okay, we'll go together!"  
"No problem then. It's decided."

And that's how two days later, both he and Lana find themselves in a not-so-recent bus filled with a rowdy group of boxers. Even if John is sitting right next to Lana, he feels like an outsider. As he watches her laugh with one of her boxing friends, he starts regretting Akinari a little bit.

They'd proposed to the brunette to come as well, but he'd shaken his head and told them he'd rather not.  
"Louis already suggested we go to the movies with one of his friends. I was going to tell you guys to come as well, but it seems we've all got plans made. Besides, it's not that I don't want to see you fight, Lana, but I'd rather not see you get hurt."  
"I'm not going to get hurt, I'm the best!" she'd protested, trying to convince the other to come, but Akinari had stood his ground.  
"John likes watching fighting sports, unlike me. I'd rather use my spare time doing something I like. Sorry, guys."  
"No, it's fine! I just wanted to show off," had answered Lana with her eternal smile. "What movie are you going to watch?"  
"Well, at first his friend wanted to watch Snowden, but Louis said it would be better if we watched something else. So now we're not sure. I probably wouldn't have liked that movie anyway. "  
"Why would you dislike Snowden?" had asked John. Akinari had always liked dramatizations of real events, were they horror or biographies, so it seemed curious to him that Aki wouldn't like such a movie.  
His friend had hesitated shortly, then shrugged. "It just doesn't appeal to me. It's too serious."  
"Oh. I see," had answered John after a short pause. That reason hadn't seemed authentic, most of the biography inspired movies they'd watched together and liked had been serious as well, but he wasn't going to insist.

So here he is, bouncing along the road with the many others in the bus, thinking about his friend and squinting out the window at the bright and blurry scenery, when Lana suddenly jabs him in the ribs. John winces, jerked out of his musings, and turns to her.  
"You really need to stop doing that," he grumbles while rubbing the sore spot on his side, but she doesn't heed his words and pulls him closer to her so the people she's talking to can see him from their side of the bus.  
"That's him," she tells them, and John is faced with two pairs of eyes. "John, this is Stacey and Ben. I told them I brought a friend and they wanted to know who you were."  
"Hi, blondie," says the girl with a smile so wide it shows the two rows of her teeth and the chewing-gum in her mouth. The boy, on the other hand, goes back to staring out the window as soon as he's finished staring at John.  
"Uh, hi," the latter answers awkwardly.  
Stacey pulls on a string of gum, twirling it around her finger as her eyes keep trailing up and down, then talks to Lana. "He's cute. Does he have a girlfriend?"  
Lana rolls her eyes. "He's right there, Stacey, you can ask him yourself."  
Stacey stops playing with the string of gum and puts it back in her mouth, flicks her hair to the side with her hand, then sets both of her elbows on her armrest and leans forward, her breasts suddenly leaping forward.  
"Do you have a girlfriend, sweetheart?" she asks John, her long, thick and probably fake eyelashes fluttering wildly.  
John's face instantly turns red. "Uh, yeah, I do."  
"So put that lady boner away," adds Lana.  
Stacey clicks her tongue, shrugs, and leans back in her seat, proceeding to chew on her piece of gum and ignore them both.

"She's so blatantly horny all the time," Lana whispers to John as they both revert to their positions.  
The blonde makes a face. "I noticed. And you wanted me to meet them for what exactly?"  
"Well, they wanted to see who you were so I showed them."  
"That's all?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Does Stacey really do boxing as well?"  
Lana giggles. "Yeah, she does. I knew you were going to ask me that question."  
"But she's so... I mean, she really doesn't look like she'd be okay with getting bruises on her face."  
"Well, you know what they say, don't judge a book by its cover. Besides, if you look closely, you'll notice she doesn't wear makeup or nail polish or anything like that. Usually she does, at school or at home, but not when she's about to box. It shows she's invested in her sport. You gotta give her more credit than that."  
"You mean her eyelashes aren't fake?"  
"Nope," Lana answers, popping the _p_.  
"And is she good at fighting?"  
"Yeah, but I'm better."

They finally arrive at the gymnasium and while the rest of her boxing group start heading to the locker rooms, Lana tells John to stick with her until they find someone to show him the way to the ranks.  
John shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I'll find my way, don't worry, you did more than enough letting me get on the bus with your team. I wouldn't want you to be late for your competition! Just remind me, which category is it again?"  
"Flyweight!" she answers happily.  
John smiles and pats her on the head. "All right. See you there, and good luck."  
She pushes his hand away and answers with utmost certainty, "I don't need luck to win, you'll see."

He finds a man in a suit next to the main entry and asks him for directions, easily finding the room where the fights are to take place. He weaves around families and couples, stepping over sprawled backpacks and cardboard signs until he finds an empty space not too far from the ring. There are a lot of spectators, and he feels incredibly lucky to find such a good seat after a mere five minutes of searching.  
They don't have to wait long until the first round starts, and John finds himself quickly enjoying the competitive and noisy atmosphere. At one moment, he thinks he recognizes the boy in the bus earlier, Ben, fighting over at the boy's ring, but he's not sure. He didn't get the chance to really memorize the boy's face.  
He's sure of one thing, however, it's that he recognizes Stacey when she climbs onto the ring. However, she doesn't look anything like she did earlier: with her tied up hair and sports gear instead of a push-up bra, fancy earrings and gum, she looks way more serious and ready to kick some ass. She's one of the participants of the second fight, and John doesn't realize how absorbed he is into the fight before it's over. It looked like a close call at first as they seemed evenly matched, but Stacey definitely has the upper hand near the end. She seems to have a lot more endurance than her adversary, as she is generally more stable on her feet and less out of breath when they near the end of their last round. Both land about ten blows on each other, until Stacey manages to give her adversary the last punch of the fight. Unfortunately for John, Stacey notices him when she turns to the crowd to wave victory, and she doesn't hesitate to send a flirty wave his way as well as a kiss. He can feel stares on the back of his head and he squirms uneasily on his seat. He really would've like it better if she hadn't done that.

He starts worrying after a while when he notices that most of the girls fighting are always a bit taller than Lana and seem pretty strong, even if they're all flyweights, and he just can't imagine Lana fighting against that kind of opponent. He doesn't have to worry any longer, though, as Lana climbs on the ring for the fourth fight.  
She looks even smaller than usual from where he sits, and her opponent is a wiry girl who of course if taller than her. The difference in size isn't that alarming, but it's still big enough to be worrying. John doesn't know what to think about Lana's gleeful expression, but visibly the other girl is too concentrated to care. Then the fight starts.

Lana's fighting style is... peculiar.

To put things simply, she moves like a small, rabid beast.  
It doesn't look like textbook boxing, from what John can tell. He's far from being an expert on that subject, but it definitely doesn't look anything like the way the other contestants fight.  
It's kind of vicious.  
Whereas most of the participants have more of a tendency to block the blows, Lana dodges them a lot and right after that, uses her small size to aim for an opening from below the opponent. The other girl doesn't manage to land a hit until she adjusts to their difference in fighting style, and it takes a bit of precious time to do so. Lana has the time to land two jabs on her, and it reminds John of the way she jabs him in the ribs. No wonder it hurts so much, if she uses the same kind of move to fight in a competition. It looks like even though Lana adopts an unordinary way to act, it's still in the rules. The referee doesn't intervene.  
Her opponent, however, is quick to catch up to Lana's pace and manages to land a hit on Lana's forearm. Lana fights back with a feint to the right followed up by a punch to the left side of the girl's face, but her gloved fist is blocked and she jumps back to set a distance between them. Then the opponent rushes forward and hits again, this time catching Lana on the side of the head. She stumbles back, and her opponent tries to follow up with a punch straight to the face, but Lana manages to hop to the side in the nick of time and take advantage of her adversary's new opening as the girl's fist swishes past her head, this time sending a punch to the girl's cheekbone.  
The girl stumbles, and Lana manages to hit her again, which with the momentum achieves tripping her up. The girl completely loses her balance and falls to her knees, stunned. 

Lana takes a full step back and waits for her adversary to get back up. The girl shakes her head to clear her mind and pushes herself off the floor, steadying her stance and slowly putting her arms back up to defend herself, but Lana hits her as soon as she's back on her feet and she's not fast enough to block the punch. Her head snaps to the side, and this time the girl hits the ground with all her weight and stays lying there.  
The referee crouches next to her and Lana stays a few steps away, reaching the farthest corner of the ring, keeping her guard up all the while. John holds his breath as the man counts down.  
Ten.  
Nine.  
Eight.  
The girl doesn't move. He can hear people behind him yelling, hollering, telling her to get up.  
Seven.  
Six.  
John sees the girl's arm jerk a bit, and the crowd get louder.  
Five.  
Four.  
The girl rises her hand to her face and brings her knees up, but she doesn't move from where she is.  
Three.  
"COME ON, GET UP!" yells the man right next to John. The boy keeps staring without a word, but he can feel his heart beating fast and his lips are pursed.  
"WOOOHOOO, YOU GO PURPLE GIRL!" shrieks a woman a few seats ahead.  
Two.

One.

"K.O!"

John stands up, cheering with the crowd, and Lana starts jumping up and down in excitement, waving her arms around and happily screaming victory.  
Out of the six organised rounds, this round has the shortest time. Lana is the fastest girl to strike her opponent down.

"That was amazing," says John when he meets up with Lana again.  
The girl is sporting several bruises on her face but that doesn't stop her from grinning. She jabs him in the ribs, a bit more forcefully than usual because of how happy she is. "I told you, didn't I? I'm the best!"  
John tries not to let the pain show through his expression and breathes out a: "Yeah, you definitely are" with a forced smile.  
Lana then smacks his shoulder and pushes him towards the bus. "Come on, time to go! You can congratulate me some more on the way back!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> As you'll have gathered, the "anger issues" tag refers to Lana. She doesn't look it, but she does have a berserker mode.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	12. Chapter 12

"That must've been pretty exciting to watch. I wish I could've come too," says Taylor wistfully while she retrieves the ladle from the pot simmering on the stove.  
John looks up from the pencil he's twirling in his hand and stares at the back of Taylor's head. "Did you want to?"

She sets the ustensil to the side and reaches in the cupboard to her left. "Well, of course I did, but you know... Work and all."  
"I figured, but I should've asked you anyway... Sorry."  
"It's fine, you know me well enough. I would've said no even if I'd known," she answers as she takes out a small brown cube from its dual package.

The boy nods, more to himself than to her. His eyes trail down the length of her brown hair tied in a ponytail, where the tips brush the space between her shoulder blades, whose outlines he can guess under her semi-transparent loose shirt. Outlines he can still feel the warmth of under his hands from last night. He gently lets his mind wander back to reminiscing the smoothness of her limber body against his own while they embraced each other, the soft and flitting feeling of his lips against her lightly tanned skin, her comforting touch trailing down his nape and back as she whispered his name...

Suddenly he hears Taylor quietly laugh and he looks up at her again. She's turned around, and her eyes are latched on him with a merry shine to them.  
He lifts his chin out of his hand and asks: "What is it?"  
She points at the side of his face and gives him a cheeky smile. "Your ears are red again. Are you thinking about dirty things?"  
John instantly feels warmth spread across his cheeks in what probably is a furious blush. "N- I mean, yeah, I mean-" He struggles to regain composure and looks away. "You know what's going on anyway, don't ask..."

"Oh yeah, I sure do," she answers in a sultry tone as she leans foward. John tries to look anywhere but her, too embarrassed to answer, and she grins.  
"Don't be shy, kitty, c'mon."  
She sidles around the table and John's chair, then stops behind him and loops her arms around his neck. She lowers her head so that her mouth is right next to his ear and speaks in a low voice, her breath ghosting over the shell of his ear.  
"Tell me what you're thinking."  
John audibly swallows and turns to look at her, but she gently pushes his chin back to the front while her other hand slides down his chest ever so slowly. The blonde stays silent, and Taylor smiles to herself. Knowing John, he probably doesn't know what to do with himself: he's never that proactive whenever she pulls this kind of move on him, like he has no idea what he's supposed to do. It's understandable, in a way, since he's not supposed to do anything anyway.

She lowers her head and gently kisses the skin at the base of his neck as her hand snakes lower and lower down, and she hears his breath hitch when she starts stroking the bulge of his pants. His breathing becomes a bit more laboured the longer she rubs it, and when she feels he's had enough of teasing, she reaches under his pants.  
He lets out a small gasp when she strokes his cock and she chuckles in the crook of his neck, the sound instantly making him a bit harder under her slim fingers.   
"Don't you want me to do something about this?"

John nods, but he doesn't say anything. He's too busy concentrating on how good it feels and on how he's not supposed to move. Taylor only sees this kind of play to the end if he's completely compliant, and right now he feels like being exactly that.

"Let's see," she purrs as her fingers tease the tip of his cock, "What should I do?"  
"Taylor," he breathes, and he looks at her again. She smiles at him and steps around the chair to lower herself on his lap, her fingers still drawing circles around his tip, and then leans in closer. She knows what he wants. He has that look in his eyes, a look of longing he only shows when he wants one thing: comfort.  
Her lips gently touch his, and he tries to kiss her, but she draws back just as fast, and a low whine escapes him.   
"Ah-ah-ah," she chides him playfully. "I'm the one to decide, you know the rules."  
He nods slightly, his eyes a bit hazy with want and his mouth half-open as he waits for her to kiss him, and she smiles softly. "You're adorable, kitty, you know that?"  
"Tay," he says, and she hums happily before closing the gap between them and giving him what he wants. She kisses him long and hard, and at the same time her fingers curl around him and start lazily stroking his length. He kisses her back, and his kisses are needy, asking for more. Her hand starts moving faster, and she pulls back to let him breathe for a while before kissing him again, and her hand goes faster, and he moans softly in her mouth.   
And then his moans get louder as he nears completion, and she can feel him trying to control himself as he refrains from bucking into her hand, and then she pulls away from his mouth, and he throws his head back, breathless and gasping and moaning as she keeps stroking him, and then his body tenses and she stands to kiss him again, leaning over him and muffling the sound of his voice when he comes.

They continue gently kissing in the afterglow, remaining in the same position for a while, and then Taylor draws back and they gaze at each other. There's something warm and overwhelming tugging at their hearts, shining through their eyes, and for a moment all there is in the world is just each other.

Suddenly they both realize the sound of bubbling in the kitchen and Taylor's head jerks up.  
"Shit!" she exclaims, her hand letting go of him, and she hurriedly runs around the table to push the pot off the fire with her clean hand. The contents of the pot continue to boil over until the bubbles slowly sink back down to their original level, and then Taylor turns back to John with a proud smile.  
"Perfect timing, see! The pasta's done."

He stares at her with an incredulous look, still recovering from the bodily thrill of ejaculating, and then the corners of his mouth pull up and a small laugh escapes him.  
Taylor starts laughing as well, a giggle escaping her lips, and she turns around to wash her hands.  
"Might want to change your underwear, kitty, sorry about that," she says over her shoulder.  
"Yeah, I'll be right back." John gets off his chair, and then he earnestly adds: "That... felt really good."  
"I know, you were pretty honest about it," she laughs as she dries her hands on the cloth hanging from the hook on the wall.   
John turns away to hide his blush and heads towards the bedroom to change.  
_

Love, John thinks, is actually pretty simple.

Meeting Tay was either a stroke of luck, or a predestined match. Whatever it was, it happened, and he's forever grateful for that.  
He doesn't remember much about the very first time he saw her, on the first day of their swim club. He was in 8th grade then. It wasn't with the school, although school was were he first discovered that he liked swimming; it wasn't to learn, since he'd acquired basic knowledge a long time ago - breaststroke, freestyle, backstroke, butterfly - and it wasn't to win any competition.  
It was just to train and eventually get better at swimming.  
At that time, he remembers simply thinking she was good at swimming. She'd caught the eye of each swimmer at least once: she was one of the best.

There was one thing he didn't think he'd ever get better at: diving. Diving scared him. Even doing it from the side of the pool, where there was no significant height difference with the water, felt impossible. He couldn't let himself fall, and every time he did try, he ended up ungracefully splashing in the water.  
The others made fun of him sometimes, and even if it wasn't to be mean to him, he still felt ridiculous compared to them. He tried to get better on his own, he really did, but he just didn't see how jumping off the ledge would result in an elegant dive. It didn't make sense to him, so to him it seemed like it couldn't happen.  
The teacher had tried to guide him through it, but it hadn't worked, and John had given up on it.

Then Taylor had tried as well. It was the first time she talked to him, and it was about then that John noticed how pretty she was.  
She'd approached him one afternoon and told him she could help him.  
"The teacher already tried," he'd answered, a bit discouraged and thinking that he was probably making a fool out of himself in front of one of the most talented swimmers in the club.  
"That's fine," she'd shrugged with a smile. "I had a bit of trouble learning how to dive as well. Besides, the teacher hasn't shown you the easy way."  
"What easy way?" had asked John, suddenly hopeful.

She'd beckoned him to the side of the pool, a bit further away from the rest of the swimmers, and had shown him how to dive off the side that was at the same level as the water, and not from the ledge.  
The teacher had always wanted John to dive off the ledge.  
Taylor had told him to get on one knee, and to place his other foot on the very edge of the side of the pool.  
"Don't forget," she'd added, "no matter what you do when you dive, always keep your chin to your chest. Even if you forget to keep your arms together and straight ahead, and even if you don't have a perfect shape when you dive, it'll prevent you from doing a belly flop or anything like that. That's the most important trick."  
John had nodded, and she'd shown him how to push himself off the side and into the pool.

This time, he hadn't body-slammed the water.

She'd told him to do it a few more times, then had shown him how to do it from a standing position, without the pushing part. He only needed to let himself fall forward by lifting one leg to the back, arms straight ahead, chin to the chest.  
"That way you'll learn to trust yourself and the water a bit more. If you do it right, then you'll feel how easy it is to penetrate the water."

He'd slipped in the water effortlessly, and it felt great.

Then she'd told him that if he remembered that feeling, coupled with all he things she'd shown him before, then when he jumped it would come easy. It was up to him whether he was ready or not.  
He'd nodded.  
"I'll leave you alone so you can practice, but I'd like to know when you succeed. Keep me posted, okay?" she'd said, like she had no doubt that he would manage it.  
"Sure," he'd answered. Then he'd blushed a bit and added, "Can you tell me your name?"  
"Oh, I'm Taylor," she'd answered. "You're John, right?"  
He'd nodded, a bit puzzled by the fact that she knew his name when they'd never talked before. She'd seemed to guess and had shot him a teasing smile.  
"The teacher yelled your name a lot when he was trying to teach you how to dive."  
"Oh." John had blushed furiously, feeling stupid.  
"So when you know how to do it correctly, you can show that asshat a thing or two about diving," she'd said with unwavering certainty.  
John had laughed without realizing it, and she'd done the same.

John learned how to dive in the space of one hour thanks to her method, when he'd spent weeks with their teacher's.

After that, he and Taylor would greet each other every time they had a swimming lesson and talk a bit. He'd learned that Taylor was older than him by two years, and that she was in ninth grade because she'd been held back a year when she was small.  
"I wasn't very good at reading when I was a kid," she'd explained in a conspiratory tone.

They kept swimming in the same club the next year, during which they started being friends rather than clubmates. Taylor's high school was the one John's mother intended to send him to, so it was rather close to his middle school. It made it easier to hang out, and they started making friends in common. When it was warm outside, the group would go to the children's playground even if they were a bit too old to play there, or they'd play basketball in the courtyard right next to John's middle school. When it was cold, they'd go watch a movie or play video games at Taylor's or at Akinari's.  
_

When John was in tenth grade and Taylor in eleventh, they started going out.  
Taylor was the one to kiss him first. It probably couldn't have gone any other way.

John was usually one to show a girl when he liked her, but in Taylor's case, he'd always felt a bit embarrassed and unsure. He didn't know if Tay liked him back, and he didn't dare bring any kind of change in their ambiguous relationship, because he was afraid to break it all.  
On that evening, she'd made it pretty clear that she didn't care about that.

It was over the summer break, at its very beginning, and they'd been six friends hanging out in the children's playground because the night was warm and the moon shone bright. The lights of their phones illuminated the small group's faces and they were playing truth or dare, even if Josh, who was Taylor's friend, found it extremely childish and had reluctantly accepted to play.  
In the end, it was Josh who dared Taylor to kiss one of the group. They'd all thought she'd try to kiss Laura, who sat across Taylor, since neither of the girls minded it and it was kind of their move whenever they played the game together.  
John had been as surprised as the rest, if not more, when Taylor had reached to her right instead and had kissed _him_. And it hadn't been the quick peck on the lips Taylor usually gave Laura: it was a full-on, drawn-out kind of kiss.

The others had watched on in stunned silence at first, and then Laura had said: "Oh my gosh."  
That had shaken them out of their torpor, and Akinari had been the first one to whoop. It had started a cacophony of whooping and whistling, and when Taylor and John had broken apart, they'd both blushed.  
John had said: "Taylor, what-"  
And she'd interrupted him by asking: "Want to go out with me?"

Of course, the answer had been yes.  
_

Then Akinari had disappeared.  
John doesn't know how he would've dealt with it if Taylor hadn't been there. She'd already had a great positive influence on the anxiety and the nightmares he'd had since he was a kid, but she'd been amazing dealing with his crappy temper when Akinari had gone AWOL. Her mere existence made John incredibly grateful.

Once he'd managed to control his feelings after several months of dealing with the impression of abandonment and betrayal, coming to terms with Akinari's disappearance and finally telling himself that there must've been a very good reason to it, he'd realized how much of a terrible friend and boyfriend he'd been to her.  
He'd tried to make it up to her in hundreds of ways, and one day she'd told him that he didn't need to be so afraid of losing her, that no matter what happened, she'd love him all the same. That he didn't need to feel so guilty, that she understood, that she knew it hadn't been easy for him. That she'd have acted the same way if that had happened to her. Most of all, that he shouldn't be so worried about it that he forgot to look after himself.  
John had felt dizzy with relief and had almost toppled over from the fatigue accumulated by many worried, listless nights.  
After that wild ride, John's behaviour had stabilized and he'd started feeling much better. 

Ever since that time, John has always tried to show Taylor how grateful he is for her presence in his life whenever he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I'd like to know what you think about Taylor, because I don't know if I'm writing her well. All feedback is welcome :)  
> Thanks for reading, please leave a comment if you feel like it!


	13. Chapter 13

Things in class start getting a little more fast-paced as weeks go by, and with the much not-anticipated project presentation in aerodynamics looming ahead, John and his friends start feeling a bit nervous.  
It's not like he and Akinari are unprepared, or that Lana and her partner haven't thought of actually working together instead of flirting, but despite being pretty good with handling work-induced stress they all find themselves wishing they could stop time at some point. Or stop needing sleep. Or have a super efficient brain. Or generally work better.

John is pretty confident about his choice of topic for the project - a modelisation of the impact of gravity and heat on a spacecraft's shape, which is a classic - but he still finds himself doubting their work at times and wondering if what they've done for it is enough. Fortunately, he's got Lana to reassure him whenever those thoughts happen.

"I'm in soooo much trouble," she exclaims as she leans back in her chair, pushing its front feet off the ground as far as they can go without the chair slipping out from under her. John raises his head sharply and puts a finger across his lips to hiss: "Shhh! Lana, seriously!"  
She lazily lets her head roll over to his side, the mass of her short purple hair shifting with the movement. "What? I can't help being loud when I feel threatened by my near future," she answers, although she does lower her voice.

Not enough, clearly, as at least ten disapproving pairs of eyes are trained on the both of them and show no sign of looking away.  
John covers his face with his hand and sets his pencil down. "Lana, we're supposed to be studying quietly like everyone else here. Can you please whisper, at least?"  
"I don't like whispering, it's not good for my throat," she replies. John is happy to see that, at least, she has the decency to comply despite her protest.  
"It's not like you need to look after your throat, you're not exactly the best singer I know," John tells her.  
She gasps indignantly, and it earns her a few glares which she ignores completely. "How dare you say that? My voice is fine!"  
John snorts quietly. "Pretty sure Eli's gonna end up deaf by the end of the year with your singing under the shower."  
Lana shrugs with a confident air. "Eli doesn't mind, she's the same as me."  
"Except she probably sounds better than you when she sings. It wouldn't be that difficult."  
The girl is about to answer, but one of the students sitting next to them cuts her off before she has the chance to.  
"Will you two shut up? Some of us are trying to work!" he hisses, and John looks over at him and nods.  
"Sorry," he apologizes.  
"We were gonna leave anyway," says Lana with a big smile, and John resists the urge to roll his eyes. They've only been here for one and a half hour, and he wanted to stay the whole evening, but he should've known Lana would cut it short. She's incapable of studying quietly for any longer than that.

He picks up his pencil and his sheets of paper and shoves everything in his bag, as does Lana, and he barely has the time to put the book he was studying back in its original place on the manuals' shelf before Lana is already out the door and waiting for him.  
When he joins her and when he's sure the door behind them is closed so as not to disturb the studious atmosphere of the library, he asks her: "So your project isn't getting any better?"  
"I wish it could, but I think we kinda screwed ourselves in the beginning. We didn't choose the best subject for this kind of work. Other than saying things like hot temperatures deform metal and deformed metal is bad for things that are supposed to go in space, we don't have a lot to go on. Plus we made a tiny mistake in one of our demonstrations and we didn't see it until last Friday, and now we've gotta do it again from scratch, two weeks away from the final presentation. Which sucks, by the way."  
John glances at her as they walk back to the dorm. She looks just as bummed out as she sounds.  
"Is it really that bad?"  
She shrugs and smiles lightly. "It's fine, we'll find a way. We're probably not the first guys to choose such a shitty topic for that presentation, anyway. Prof's a nice guy, cool teacher and all, he won't be too harsh on us." Then she giggles. "At least, that's what I try to tell myself!"  
John smiles at her. "You'll be fine. It's not that boring a subject."  
"You keep telling me that, but really we were just lazy about our choices. You don't have to try and make me feel better about how stupid that was," she tells him with her usual quirky smile.  
"I'm not," protests John. "I honestly think you could find cool things to say if you tried harder."  
" _If_ being the key word," grins Lana. "I'm not going to try harder, because usually the way things go is that I don't try harder. I'm sure natural talent's enough!"  
John shakes his head lightly and blows some air through his nose with a smile. "Whatever you say."

Days slip by faster and faster until the moment finally arrives when John and Akinari have to present their project to their aerodynamics teacher.  
As they wait for the teacher to arrive, Akinari turns to John and looks at him closely. The blonde soon notices his friend's insistent gaze and says: "What?"  
"You don't look too stressed," observes the other.  
"That's because I'm not."  
"You know, I noticed a while ago that you handle stress way better than before."  
John stares at him, then shrugs and looks away. "Yeah, I guess. Things have changed since then."  
The brunette pats his friend's back. "Well, that's good. I prefer this over working with a nervous mess ten times better!"  
John smiles at him. "Yeah, I also prefer being this over being a nervous mess ten times better. I guess I've learned to control myself."  
"And things got better for you, too, that probably plays a part," states Akinari.  
John nods. "Surely."

Then Akinari pulls out their project support and flattens it out on their desks to brush over the last minute details with him, and five minutes later their teacher steps in the room and asks if one of the groups scheduled for today wants to go first. Heads turns around and glances are exchanged before Lana's partner stands up and says: "We'll go first."  
"All right," says the teacher. "Then let's go." He turns to the rest of the students in the room and adds: "As you know, the presentation lasts ten minutes, so I'll be back in fifteen for the next group. Try sorting out who goes next so we don't lose time unecessarily." Then he turns and leaves the room, beckoning for the first group to follow.  
Lana stands up as well, shoots John and Akinari a wide smile and gives them two thumbs up before following her partner out of the room. Both boys exchanged wary glances, and Akinari leans closer to John.  
"What's she so excited about?"  
"I don't know. It's probably the adrenalin."

When it's their turn to go, John feels a bit of an ache in the pit of his stomach as he always does before something important, but the feeling disappears as soon as they start the presentation. Akinari is the one to start, and his words flow freely as he moves around and shows the teachers the way they reasoned through their hypotheses. His body language is natural and John remembers that his friend was always the confident and calm kind of student whenever he needed to do an oral presentation. As for John, his words come out a bit stilted and rigid at first, but he quickly eases into his role of professional host who knows exactly what he's talking about.  
The rest of the presentation goes on without a hitch, and John concludes the whole thing with a clear and firm voice. The words Akinari told him earlier strike him again: it's true he's changed a lot in his way of dealing with stress, and he's much more controlled than when they were kids. He's never really given much thought about how different he is now.

The two women sitting next to their aerodynamics teacher ask them about how they chose the subject, if they knew about a certain historical event that had marked the aeronautics industry in the way people made the metal frames of airplanes, and then their aerodynamics teacher wants them to explain why they thought this and that formula was adapted to the situation, and their presentation soon comes to an end.  
When they step out of the room, they both feel like they've been set free. The project is over, now they can finally have some much-needed fun.

When John sends Lana a text to ask about her presentation, she answers back with a message half full of exclamation points and ":D" emojis, so John is promptly reassured about what became of her project.

That evening, John and the others eventually decide to celebrate the completion of their projects, and when he tells Seithei that he's going out tonight, he's surprised by his roomate's genuinely interested reaction.  
The dark-haired boy swivels around on his chair and asks: "Can I come?"  
John hesitates only briefly, partly because he's not sure it's a good idea to bring Seithei along when the guy's been such an ass with him and the others, partly because it seems weird to him that his roomate would want to hang out with them.  
"Are you sure? We're just going to get some drinks and then we're hitting the night club. You don't look like you'd enjoy it..."  
Seithei looks away pensively, and John remembers that he used to like seeing that expression on the boy's face at the beginning of the year, because it meant Seithei wanted to interact with him. Now he just feels confused and doesn't know what to make of that look.  
Seithei reverts his attention back to the blonde. "I can make an effort for tonight. I mean, it's a special occasion, right?"  
"...Right." John's not hiding how puzzled he is at this change of behaviour, but he doesn't insist. "Then get ready, they're waiting downstairs."  
Seithei nods and swiftly gets off his chair to grab his jacket, and they're out of the room a few seconds later, walking down the stairs to meet the others.  
They all look surprised to see Seithei in John's company, but they don't comment on it, except for Lana who tells him she's glad he decided to come along. The only one who doesn't look happy about it is Louis, but it's no secret he dislikes the lanky dark-haired boy.

He's also the only one to notice Seithei smirking at him in a provocative manner when they walk out the school's gate, and he wonders if the guy acts the same with John. If so, the blonde's got god-like patience. If not, that means Seithei reciprocates Louis' animosity, which shouldn't surprise him considering the way he openly shows his distaste for John's roomate. Still, Louis can't shake off the feeling that Seithei is a lot more of a creepy bastard than he lets on around the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi pumpkin.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	14. Chapter 14

The evening air is nice and fresh as it blows gently in their faces and scatters a few crisp leaves here and there. It's that hour of the day where shadows are slowly melting away and neon signs are buzzing to life, with the city's sounds echoing through the busy streets, bouncing off each other and traveling through the darkening sky.

The lamp posts flicker awake one by one, and the fires glowing red, green and yellow at the crossroads guide the steady flow of cars and motorcycles through busy intersections and long roads. The group of students chatters loudly over the roar of the engines as they walk along the sidewalk, careful not to walk too close to the edge of the road where bicycles tend to go a bit too fast.

"Do we even know which bar we're going to?" asks John, and the two boys ahead of him turn around. "I mean, we're walking but you guys didn't say anything about where we were heading."  
Louis waves his concerns away and turns back to the front. "Yes, little boy, we're almost there."  
The blonde rolls his eyes at Louis' answer, but he doesn't insist.

They soon reach a bar called the Ace of Spades which is clearly casino themed, and Louis holds the door open with a mock reverence: "Ladies first."  
Lana and Eli smile at him sweetly and pass through, and Louis adds: "That goes for you too, Aki."  
His roomate sighs and shakes his head without trying to reply, but when Akinari hears John snicker behind him, he does shoot John the look.  
The group slides into one of the booths in the back of the bar and Lana instantly grabs the list of drinks out of John's hands from the side. The boy gives her the _are you serious_ eyebrow rise and she sticks her tongue out before huddling closer to Eli and showing her the plastified list of drinks. He doesn't find anything else to say or do so he just shrugs and leans back.  
"I was gonna take a beer anyway."  
Akinari chuckles from across the table and Louis says: "You mean you were going to take _several_ beers."  
The blonde looks at him and states: "You want me to get drunk, don't you."  
Louis smiles widely. "You have no idea."

John gets a bit louder after one beer, tipsy after two, and just an hour later, the group is talking and laughing much louder than before and not realizing it. Louis doesn't doubt that the general good mood is playing a part in John's easy drinking as he watches the blonde reach the bottom of his third beer. His face is a bit red and he's laughing to pretty much anything they say, even things that aren't supposed to be funny. Louis hides his smile behind his own glass and tips it back to drink, and his eyes drift over to the tall, brooding guy sitting in front of the blonde, in Louis' side of the booth. Seithei hasn't said much, his only beer still isn't finished by the looks of it, and he has the face of someone who keeps expecting something better to happen.  
 _Starting to regret your decision to come along, huh buddy._  
Louis lowers his glass back to the table and John suddenly straightens, looking confused.  
"Where'd Aki go off to?"  
"Ah, he's probably outside," says Louis as he leans back against the booth. "I saw him get his lighter out earlier."  
John's face falls immediately. "But he said he was trying to stop..."  
"Don't get upset over it. He's trying, trust me, there's been a drastic change to his consumption of cigarettes," assures Louis. "You want me to go check on him?"  
"No, I'll go," says John as he starts making a move to leave the booth, but Louis is already up by the time Lana starts moving to let John pass.  
"It's fine, I don't mind," the brown-haired boy assures John before stepping away.

John watches Louis leave and then remembers to say "Thanks" a bit too late for the word to reach the other's ears. He settles back in his seat, and then Lana puts down her drink and grabs her knitted coat.  
"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom real quick, don't mind me!"  
Eli slides out of the booth as well. "Me too, sorry, we'll be back soon."  
John just nods and then looks at Seithei, the only remaining member of the group. The boy hasn't said much for the whole evening, so John's drunk brain thinks it might be a good idea to try and cheer him up. The blonde leans over the table and whispers in a confiding tone: "Hey, Seithei."  
"...What?" asks the dark-haired boy.  
"If anything's wrong, you can tell me."  
Seithei stares at John, and then smiles lightly. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just not very used to this whole... celebrating when a project is over thing."  
"Oh," answers John with an exaggerated nod. "I see. You should drink a bit more, it'll help you loosen up. I think."  
"Yeah, you're probably right," says Seithei. He reaches for his bottle and brings it to his lips, swiftly downing it in five gulps. Then he lowers it and says: "I'll go get us a new beer."  
John hesitates. He knows drinking more than he already has is a bad idea, but the way Seithei proposes it isn't much of a proposal; it sounds like a fact, and he's probably not supposed to say no. Besides, Seithei is being nice for once, and John doesn't want to spoil that.  
His roomate is already gone when he finally reaches that conclusion, and he looks up and searches for the dark mass of hair around the bar. Seithei is at the counter, reaching over to grab the two bottles the bartender is handing him, and when he turns around his gaze crosses John's. The blonde hurriedly turns back around, avoiding the awkward situation of unvoluntary eye contact. He has the feeling Seithei doesn't like that kind of thing.  
_

Louis steps out of the noisy bar, his head swiveling as he looks for his friend. His eyes finally latch on Akinari's tall shape standing a few feet away from the commotion, and he approaches him. As he grows near, he starts making out his roomate's features: pensive, and maybe a bit miserable.  
"Hey," he calls out.  
Akinari looks over, his face reverting to a normal expression. "Hey. Sorry for leaving, I'll be back soon."  
"It's fine, I'm just checking on you because John's worried."  
"He's worried?" repeats Akinari with a slightly surprised voice. "I thought he wasn't paying attention."  
"Well, he wasn't until two minutes ago. He just got this sudden moment of clarity and noticed you were gone."  
Akinari chuckles, and lifts the softly glowing cigarette to his lips. Louis watches the incandescent butt end of the cigarette detach itself from the rest and tumble to the ground, the small sparks slowly melting into the sidewalk and leaving dark trails of ash behind.  
"You think you're really going to stop one day?"  
Akinari looks at him and stays silent for a bit, then turns his head away and blows smoke to the sky. He shrugs, the pensive look appearing on his face again. "Maybe."  
"John really thinks you're going to."  
The brunette takes another smoke, and the silence lasts longer this time before he speaks again. "John always thinks the best of others."  
"You think you're not able to stop."  
"... I might stop. I just don't want to. To tell you the truth, I'm only cutting down because John wants me to."  
"So you're doing this for him?"  
Akinari nods slowly. "I don't want him to worry."

Louis stares at his roomate, then takes a step forward and leans against the wall next to the other. "Does he worry a lot?"  
Akinari blows some air through his nose in a soft laugh. "I guess you wouldn't know, but yeah. He's gotten better, apparently, but he used to be a nervous wreck whenever something wasn't going well."  
"I see."  
They both fall silent for a while.

"Look, Louis... Thanks for not telling him. I just don't want him to know."  
"Don't you trust him?"  
Akinari looks ahead. "I do, it's just..."  
"Come on, you guys have been friends for a pretty long time. Besides, you told _me_ , right?"  
"I didn't have much of a choice. I would've liked it better if no one knew."  
"Dude, he's your friend. He should know. And none of it was your fault, I think you both deserve to talk about why you left so suddenly."  
Akinari throws his cigarette on the ground and crushes it with the sole of his shoe. "But it's so... disturbing. Knowing him, he'd get nightmares about it happening to him and then he'd become paranoiac. You know how I told you the state I was in then? He'd be ten times worse."  
"You told me he's changed, maybe he wouldn't react the same way."  
"I know, but... You haven't seen him when he's stressed. It used to freak me out at times."  
"Was it really that bad?"  
"...Yeah." Akinari crosses his arms, pressing them against his chest. "It got _really_ bad."  
Then he looks at Louis. "I know he probably won't react the same way now, but I just don't want to take the risk. He's happy the way he is, right? And he's already got Seithei to deal with. I don't want to give him something else to worry about."  
"But it's over now, why would he worry?"  
"...I just don't want to risk it."  
Louis doesn't answer for a bit, then nods. "Okay, I get it. You shouldn't leave him in the dark for too long, though, especially since it's been years and he's probably dying to know what your reason was."  
"I know."  
_

When Louis and Akinari go back inside, something is going on at their booth: Eli is talking with Seithei, a questioning look on her face, and Lana is tapping John's shoulder with an amused smile. The blonde seems to have fallen asleep, his head lowered over his crossed arms. Akinari notices right away the empty bottles next to John, and he frowns. His friend usually doesn't try to go for more than two beers, and when he does he only drinks three, like he did tonight. It's enough for him to get drunk. So why are there five of them?  
Seithei is also reaching out to John and shaking him awake, and it doesn't look like he tried to drink more than the sole bottle of beer sitting next to his arm.

Akinari hurries to the table and asks: "What's going on?"  
Lana looks up. "He drank too much, obviously! Didn't think he was such a lightweight," she giggles. "I'm so never letting him live this one down."  
Louis sighs, standing next to Akinari. "Seriously... I wanted to see him drunk, but not dead drunk."  
Akinari puts his hand on Lana's shoulder to let him pass, and he slides next to John while looking at the girls. "Why'd you let him drink that much?"  
Eli lifts her hand in the air in a helpless posture. "Hey, don't blame us! We were in the bathroom."  
"Yeah, ask Seithei, he's the one who stayed with John," says Lana as she points her finger at the dark-haired boy.  
Seithei shrugs when he sees the disapproving look on Akinari's face. "I didn't know he couldn't handle his alcohol, so I got him beer when he wanted more. I'll be careful next time."  
Akinari looks back at John and shakes his shoulder. "John? Hey, you okay?"  
The blonde just groans half-heartedly.

Akinari looks up helplessly. "Yeah, he's not waking up. One of us is gonna have to bring him back to the dorm."  
"He's never gonna get through in his state," says Louis.  
"It's fine, I'll bring him back," volunteers Seithei. The others look at him like he's suddenly gone crazy, and he adds defensively: "I don't feel like going to a club or anything, I just want to go back. I was going to anyway."  
"And how's John going to get through the night guard?"  
"We'll find a way. One of my friends used to be the same."  
"You had friends?" scoffs Louis, and then he quickly adds: "Don't answer that."  
Seithei glares at him but doesn't answer, and Lana breaks the tension between the two by grabbing Seithei's hand.  
"Okay, you're on hauling duty! Good luck with this guy," she giggles. "He's completely out of it."  
"You sure you don't want help?" asks Akinari as he eyes his sleeping friend with concern.  
"I can handle it, thanks," answers Seithei dryly as he pulls his arm away from Lana, and Akinari doesn't insist.

They head out of the bar and go their separate ways, Seithei dragging his roomate back to the dorm with John's arm slung around his neck, and the rest of the group going the opposite way to have some more fun.  
Akinari trails a bit behind and looks back, worry nagging at him as he watches John stumble next to Seithei. He remembers the image of the five empty beers next to John, and he still feels like that looked wrong. John was usually so careful about how he drank... Why had he tried his limits tonight? Akinari felt it couldn't have been the joy of finishing the project. That wasn't enough of a reason.

If Akinari had acted upon his intuition that night, then maybe things would've been okay.   
Maybe things wouldn't have gone so wrong, so fast.  
But Akinari didn't go back on his decision to let Seithei bring John back alone, and so he looked away from his friend and his roomate to catch up with the others.  
...And so John was left alone with Seithei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Three chapters in one day to celebrate my comeback! I don't know, I felt really inspired today. And the messed up stuff is starting...  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Messed up stuff starting ahead. Playtime is over.

When John wakes up the following morning, he feels grimy.  
He has the feeling that he stinks of sweat and alcohol, his head is pounding, and his sheets stick to his skin when he tries to get out of bed. He doesn't even remember how he got back here.  
In fact, what does he remember?  
Going out with the others for a drink. To celebrate the end of the project. Right. He might've gotten a bit too drunk... it's never happened to him before to actually have a black out. He usually knows his limits.  
There's a heaviness on his breath and in his limbs, his mouth is pasty and he feels disgusting. He really ought to hit the shower.  
He takes the time to fully resurface, and he doesn't need to look around the room to see that Seithei is already awake. The typing coming from his left is enough to tell him that.  
He groggily rubs his eyes and pushes himself up, and the typing stops.  
"How are you feeling?" says Seithei's voice.

The blonde looks up and his blurry eyes meet Seithei's curious gaze.  
"...M'feelin' like shit."  
The corners of Seithei's mouth curl upwards. "Do you remember anything from yesterday?"  
"Is there something I should remember?" answers John, suddenly a bit worried that he might've done something weird last night.  
Something in Seithei's gaze feels strange. It's like he's happy about something, and John knows best of all that Seithei being happy is definitely not normal. The black-haired boy grins fully.  
"Not really. You stink, you should really get clean."

John pulls a face at those words and stands up, swaying a bit when the blood suddenly rushes to his limbs. Wow, he really got messed up yesterday. He wonders if he should ask what happened exactly, but he's not sure he wants to know, so he quickly gives up the idea of asking Seithei.  
He soon reaches the bathroom and sheds off his clothes, throwing them to the side before stepping in the shower. The handle squeaks as John pulls it up, and the stream of water starts pummeling his skin. The water is cold at first, and it clears John's mind a little, before it warms up and mist starts rising in the shower.

This is heaven.

He can feel his muscles loosening under the shower, and as he starts getting clean he realizes his breath really does smell bad. He cracks the doors open just enough to reach out to his toothbrush and pulls it back inside the shower, along with some toothpaste. He doesn't usually does this, but he really wants to avoid asphyxiating anyone with his breath, especially himself, so he starts brushing his teeth under the shower. It feels really good to have something fresh in his mouth, and the pasty sensation of his mouth and tongue soon disappears. He's finally starting to feel like a person again, not some kind of dirty slob that just rolled out of bed.  
He quickly washes out his mouth and opens the shower doors again to put the toothbrush and toothpaste back where they belong. Then he gets back inside, rubs some shampoo in his hair before rinsing himself completely, and shuts off the stream of water. He pulls the shower doors wide open to step out, and when he gets out he reaches for his towel: as he straightens, he notices something weird on his skin in the mirror's reflection.

He frowns, staring at his neck in the mirror. Is that...? He leans closer to the mirror, unease slowly dripping in his chest as he twists his shoulder around.  
A red spot. Hickey.  
Where'd it come from?  
Did Taylor...? John finds it strange, considering she never was a fan of marking him, especially in that region. Too visible. Then again, Saturday night was pretty wild... The sounds emanating from her bedroom would've made him blush, had he not been a participant in the deed. And what a sweet deed it was.  
He shakes the dirty thought away, straightening back up. He's overthinking this.

However, when he straightens, his eyes latch on a dark shape in the mirror's reflection and he nearly jumps out of his skin, covering himself with the towel and whirling around with a yelp.

Seithei is standing there with his arms crossed, leaning against the door.  
John frowns at him, his heart hammering away at his chest. "Dude, I'm not done, get out!"  
The dark-haired boy contemplates him and then takes a step forward without a word. John takes a step back.  
"Seithei, what are you doing? Get out, man."  
The dark-haired boy doesn't stop moving and John feels his elbow bump against something. A quick glance to the back notifies him that he's backed up against the shower.  
"Seriously, Seithei, I'm not kidding."

The fact that Seithei's eyes are roaming over his body is making him even more uncomfortable than the initial surprise of Seithei's presence in the bathroom.  
"Seithei-"  
"You have a nice body," says Seithei quietly, and John's words falter.  
Goddamn, this guy's creep factor just went through the roof.

"Uh, thanks, I guess, but really Seithei, I'd appreciate it if you just left."  
Seithei gets even closer, and he stops moving when he's just a step away from John. He tilts his head.  
"Are you... scared of me?"  
John raises an eyebrow. "Well, to tell you the truth, you're acting really creepy so yeah, you're kind of scaring me."  
A smile appears on Seithei's lips, and his hand suddenly lands on John's hip. The blonde's breath hitches at the cold touch and he pushes Seithei away, his eyes wide with shock.  
"What the _fuck_ are you doing, dude?"  
Seithei's smile grows even wider and this time both of his hands touch John's warm skin as he pulls the blonde closer to him. John bucks in his arms in an attempt to escape his hold, his breathing becoming panicked. What the fuck is happening right now? Suddenly, he feels one of Seithei's hand snaking down his back and he violently pushes against Seithei's chest, frightened by the boy's sudden boldness.  
"Let GO!"

He feels the arms around him disappear and Seithei suddenly steps back, a disappointed look on his face.  
"You don't like me, do you."  
"You're sick," John spits out in livid anger. "What the fuck's wrong with you?"  
The blonde pushes past Seithei and hurriedly picks up the pants and the underwear he discarded on the floor earlier. Fuck it, he doesn't care if they're dirty, he needs to get out of here. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Seithei start moving towards him again and he jerks back.  
"DON'T, don't get closer. Stay away from me, I'm warning you, you better not get any closer."  
Seithei just stares at him silently, and then he steps out of the bathroom.  
John breathes out in relief and hurriedly pulls last night's shirt over his head. He really needs to get out, tell someone he has to change roomates, maybe report Seithei, he's not sure but what he does know is that he needs to get as far away as possible from that creep.

He rushes out of the bathroom and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Seithei standing in front of the bedroom's door with his laptop in his hands.  
John hisses: "Let me leave."  
Seithei smiles. "I will, as long as you remain roomates with me."  
"Are you crazy? Do you realize what you just did?"  
"Of course I do, but I only did it because I could."  
John shakes his head. "You're insane. You can't do that kind of thing. Let me through."  
Seithei sighs. "You don't seem to understand. I can, because you're going to let me."  
"You're crazy," repeats John.  
"Not really. Maybe a little bit," concedes Seithei. "But you see, if you try anything I don't like, I'm sending this to Taylor," he says, flipping his laptop around.

Sounds suddenly fill the room and John's eyes widen. At first he doesn't fully comprehend what he's seeing, and when he does, his brain screeches to a halt. He can't bring himself to do or say anything.  
It's him he's seeing on the screen, writhing naked on the ground, and he wants to look away, but he can't, and his eyes stay glued to the screen. He can see hands on his body, he can see objects lying on the ground, and most of all he can see the flushed expression on his face and hear the moaning ringing in his ears.  
Finally he regains control of his body and lashes out towards the computer, but Seithei dodges his arm and closes the laptop, the sounds stopping immediately. The room is now silent, save for John's heavy breathing. He feels like throwing up. What is that video?  
"You sick bastard," he growls, and Seithei smiles.  
"This video right here isn't just on my laptop, so bashing it in won't do you any good. The only thing that will bring you is my anger, and trust me, you don't want that. If that video's not enough to convince you to play nice, I also have some footage of you and Taylor having sex. You know the internet's a big place, and it loves that kind of action."

John can feel the blood draining from his face.  
When did Seithei even...  
"Maybe you're wondering when you ended up in that sorry state. And how I managed to get that footage of you and Taylor." Seithei's grin disappears, and he gazes intensely at the blonde. "The look on your face, John... It's so good, you have no idea."  
John feels rage and disgust whirling around inside of him, but he doesn't move.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day. For now, John, the only thing I ask of you is to be a nice boy and not tell anyone about what just happened. Keep being my roomate. That's all."  
"You're a fucking psychopath," the blonde spits.  
Seithei smiles at him and cocks his head. "Maybe I am. One more reason to listen to me."  
John steps away from Seithei, his legs wobbling under his weight, and he sits on his bed. He stays silent for a while, and looks up at his roomate. "That's a fake."  
"You wish it would be." Seithei walks to his desk and sets his computer down. "But it isn't."

John can't feel the tips of his fingers. There's buzzing in his hands, and in his feet. "You're lying. That didn't happen."  
Seithei shrugs. "You can tell yourself that, if it helps you sleep at night."  
"Why are you doing this? How did you even..." John stops himself. He can't say it. It's all too big for him, too horrible to consider that it's real. There's no way that happened. No way this is happening, right now. Is he having a nightmare?  
"You did say you didn't remember what happened last night," says Seithei.  
John's eyes widen and he looks at his roomate in disbelief.  
Seithei grins. "Maybe it's for the best. Don't worry, the things I used were pretty small. It wasn't painful. I only used toys."  
John feels cold all over. "You didn't...."  
Seithei sighs. "You saw it, didn't you? It's pretty obvious in the video-"  
John leaps forward and grabs Seithei by the collar, pushing him against the desk. "You _fucker_ , you filthy-"  
"Woah there. Calm down, John, or I'm showing the world how Taylor moans when you fuck her."  
John struggles with himself, his fists clenching his roomates shirt for another few seconds before he reluctantly lets go of Seithei. The taller boy smiles and pushes him away.  
"That's more like it. I know, this may come as a shock to you, but trust me, you'll get used to being messed with by me. You just need some time to adjust. All I ask of you is that you obey me."  
"You're a sick son of a bitch," growls John.  
Seithei chuckles. "The only bitch I know is you, and you're good at it too."  
John feels like someone just punched the air out of his lungs. Breathing is hard. There's a weight on his chest.

Seithei continues. "Don't worry. I won't do anything to you for now. I'm going to let you process all of this first, and then we'll see."  
John can't tear his eyes away from the floor. He keeps replaying that video in his head, and he feels disgusted, disbelieving, violated. He doesn't understand how this could have happened.  
Did Seithei drug him...? Yesterday?  
This can't be happening. There's no way this is happening.  
He's dreaming, right, he's having a nightmare. Surely this is just his imagination. Surely he's going to wake up at any moment.

But John doesn't wake up.  
Because this is real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Shit's hitting the fan.  
> Anyways thanks for reading, leave a comment of you feel like it!


	16. Chapter 16

The day that follows is the most nerve-wracking one John has ever had to live through.

The first shock of the revelation wears off just enough for him to get the hell out of their room and rush to the nearest bathroom to hide and pull himself together. Of course, he doesn't go to eat breakfast that morning. Nothing on earth could make him want to eat after that.

He's not brave enough to go to class, not with his fingers shaking the way they are, and especially not with the way he looks: pale, sick, shitty. He stays sitting on the toilet for two hours, wondering how the hell he's going to get out of this.  
How the hell Seithei pulled that crap on him.  
How the hell he managed to drag him away with none of the others noticing.  
Where the fuck did he even film that shit?  
Was he telling the truth when he said he had footage of him and Taylor having sex? But how?!  
And if he really was telling the truth, then Taylor was involved in this too. He couldn't make any rash decisions, or she'd suffer the consequences as well.

John lowers his head in his hands and a low whine escapes him. This can't be happening. This must be some crazy nightmare he's yet to wake up from. How is this even possible?  
He's heard of people getting drugged during parties in college and stuff like that before, he'd seen it in a PSA about rape. But yesterday, he was with friends. They were a small group, he couldn't have gone missing unnoticed. How did it happen?  
And why doesn't he remember anything? Did he really drink that much? Or maybe... if Seithei really drugged him, then whatever shit he gave John is causing this. Either way, it scares John not to remember anything, it scares him really freaking bad.

Suddenly, his phone vibrates in his pocket and he jumps, his foot involuntarily hitting the stall's door as he does so. He curses and fumbles with his phone until he finally manages to fish it out of his pants.

\----------------------------------------------------  
Lana  
\----------------------------------------------------  
\-------Thurs, 14:38-----  
John: How'd it go?  
Lana: Great :D They loved us! They asked us   
really easy questions and stuff!  
Lana: Also he kinda messed up so it made me  
look good :D  
Lana: I know that's kinda mean, but hey!  
Lana: Things are the way they are :D

\-------10:11-----  
Lana: Where are you?  
\----------------------------------------------------

"Shit," breathes John. Missed two hours already. If only time could stop, so that he could try to find a way to wrap his head around this whole thing. How is he supposed to go to class looking like this? How is he going to justify his absence? At any rate, he can't stay holed up in here all day. Should he leave the school grounds? If someone sees him here when he's supposed to be in class, then he'll never find a good excuse for not attending class. But if he's seen outside... Maybe he should spend the day at Taylor's? No, he can't do that, she'll know for sure something's up.  
Shit.  
 _Shit._

The best would be to act normal. John doesn't know if he can pull that off, he's not good at acting.  
Then again, no one knows about this. He'll just look tired or ill if anyone notices, so it shouldn't be that difficult.

 _Fuck, if only Seithei..._  
John closes his eyes and rubs his temples. Why had Seithei done that? Why hadn't anyone tried to stop him or John before it happened?

Most of all...  
 _Why me?_

John wishes he could report that sick fuck to someone, but Seithei has important leverage. Posting a video is easy, one, two clicks and the deed is done. It would be all too easy for Seithei to do it before someone took him away.  
What even happened in situations like these? Did the teachers handle it themselves, or was police involved? Did they take away computers, phones, or anything that could be used for the blackmail right away, or did they wait for proof before that, leaving enough time for the blackmailer to go through with his threat?

His phone vibrates in his hand.

\----------------------------------------------------  
Lana  
\----------------------------------------------------  
really easy questions and stuff!  
Lana: Also he kinda messed up so it made me  
look good :D  
Lana: I know that's kinda mean, but hey!  
Lana: Things are the way they are :D

\-------10:11-----  
Lana: Where are you?

\-------10:30-----  
Lana: John?  
\----------------------------------------------------

"Shit, shit, shit," mutters John. Time goes by too fast, and he has no idea what to do. This is probably starting to look suspicious to Lana. He'll just tell her he slept in, that his alarm didn't ring or some shit like that. Yeah. That should be enough.  
He doesn't answer her message, shoving his phone back in his pocket, and leaves the bathroom stall.

When he walks into class through the back door, trying to be as discreet as possible, several heads turn towards him and he feels scrutinizing stares upon him. He doesn't look at anyone and makes a beeline for his desk, and when Lana shoots him a questioning look, he whispers loudly for both front and back rows to hear: "I overslept."  
She cocks an eyebrow at his abnormally loud whispering, but she doesn't insist. Akinari just stares at him for a while before focusing on the lesson. The teacher doesn't point out John's late arrival in front of everyone, which he is infinitely grateful for, and class goes on.

When the teacher reaches the end of the lesson, John braces himself for interaction with his friends, hoping to God no one's noticed anything strange. Sure enough, Akinari turns on him with an interrogative expression as soon as the teacher says the last words of her sentence.  
"Hey, John. What happened this morning?"  
The blonde looks at him with a thin smile. "Technical issues with the alarm clock on my phone. Lana's messages woke me up." Then he turns to the girl and adds: "Sorry I didn't answer, I was busy getting ready."  
"Yeah, it's fine!" nods Lana. "I get it, no worries."  
"You might have overslept, but you look like a zombie," says Akinari. "Bad recovery from last night?"  
John whips around to look at his friend, but when he notices the surprised look on his face he understands that Akinari is referring to the beers. He tries to play off his nervous reaction with a small laugh. "Oh, yeah, that. I guess."  
Akinari's eyes narrow slightly and John gulps, wondering if his friend just guessed about what really happened. Instead, he just says: "I noticed how much you drank last night. In fact, I think everyone noticed. Why the everloving fuck did you try to drink five beers?"  
"Five beers?" echoes John, feeling as confused as ever. Did he really drink five beers? He remembers drinking four, and he's not even sur he reached half of the fourth bottle.  
"Holy," says Akinari with an incredulous face. "You don't even remember?"  
"Uh, not really," answers the blonde nervously. "What happened?"  
Lana leans over her desk so that their eyes meet and smiles widely, giggling as she says: "You passed out on the table, dude! You are _such_ a lightweight!"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah! Good thing Seithei helped you back. How'd he manage that?"  
"I don't know," replies John earnestly. "I don't really remember. Seithei's the one who brought me back... to the dorm?"  
"Yup."  
Next to him, Akinari has his hand on his forehead like John's the biggest idiot in the world. "Seriously, man, how did you even think that that much beer would be a good idea?"  
John doesn't answer. He's sure he didn't drink that many beers. The fourth one was Seithei's idea, and John sure doesn't remember anything about a fifth beer. In fact, things get hazy before that, so he's not sure he's remembering the fourth beer right either.  
Whatever happened, John doesn't understand how it went down.

"Where were you guys?" he asks quietly, still a bit lost in thought.  
Akinari studies him from under his hand. "What do you mean?"  
John looks up, his expression a bit surprised until he realizes he spoke out loud. "Oh, uh, I mean when I was drinking. Where were you?"  
"I was smoking outside, remember? Louis left to check on me."  
"And I was in the restroom with Eli," adds Lana. "You don't even remember that?"  
"...No." John looks at his desk, avoiding his friends' intense gazes. So he was left alone with Seithei. That was probably when the guy drugged him, when no one was there to notice. It didn't explain the five beers, though.

Akinari and Lana both stare at John, who looks deeply troubled. Then they both exchange concerned glances behind his back, wondering why he looks so anxious. Akinari especially doesn't like this, as it reminds him of things he thought only belonged to the past by now. Maybe John hasn't changed as much as Akinari thought he did.  
What worries him aside from John's anxiety is the memory loss he seems to be suffering from. Surely five beers aren't enough to mess with someone's brain, right? Or maybe it has to do with the fact that John's a lightweight... He's not really sure.  
Again, the slight worry he felt last night nags him, but he can't put his finger on what disturbs him exactly. Maybe he's worrying for nothing. Maybe it's just another after effect of what happened to him two years ago. It's not entirely impossible that it could be the cause.

John doesn't ask anything else, and Lana changes the subject, telling them about how Eli kissed three guys in the nightclub where they went. Akinari raises his eyebrows in a surprise gesture. Elizabeth sure doesn't look like that kind of girl when she's sober.

John spends the rest of the day avoiding as much social contact as he can with others, and talking with his friends in short sentences to avoid saying anything weird.  
Lana and Akinari both notice it, and as much as they try to cheer him up, it doesn't work. There's definitely something off about John, but they don't know what it is and don't know how to ask.  
Akinari also notices that John doesn't finish his meal at noon, nor does he finish his supper, and he briefly thinks of their younger days. Well, it's not like John's not eating enough. He's probably still a bit uncomfortable from drinking so much last night.

When John returns to his dorm room that evening, Seithei isn't acting any different from usual, and while the blonde was preparing to ask him about the beers and the potential drugs all the while that he ate and climbed up the stairs, he doesn't dare talk to Seithei in the end. They spend the evening in total silence.

Over the next days, John is twitchy, paranoiac, and he feels like he's going downright crazy.  
Every time someone talks to him, he feels his palms become sweaty, the back of his knees growing damp, because he imagines that person knows about the video. He imagines the person about to tell him they know.  
Lana asks him what's wrong at one point, and he quickly answers: "Tired."  
He does the same with Akinari.  
None of them seem convinced by his answer, but that's okay. As long as they don't know.

On Sunday, upon returning to the dorm, he finally ends up asking. He sets his bag to the side and then says: "Seithei?"  
The other boy turns around on his chair and stares at him curiously. "What is it, John?"  
The blonde almost backs out because of how creeped out he feels by the other's intense gaze, but he steels himself and asks: "Did you really drug me?"  
Seithei smiles. "Yeah. I did."  
John can feel the blood draining from his face. "...How?"  
"Well," and the dark-haired boy settles in his chair like he's about to tell a story, "you probably don't remember it because of the drug, but I suggested you and I drink another beer."  
"The fourth beer," says John quietly.  
"Exactly," nods Seithei. "You were already drunk, so you didn't really check it. Even if you had been sober, you wouldn't have checked. People don't think about this kind of thing happening to them," grins the boy with what seems to be some kind of self-satisfied air.

 _Maybe he's already done this before_ , realizes John. _I might not be the first._

"What drugs did you...?"  
"Are you really interested in that, or are you just grasping at straws here?" asks Seithei, his grin turning into a small, mocking smile. "Because I don't think that's going to help you with your predicament."  
John glares at him, and Seithei shrugs. "Well, if you're really curious, you can just do some research on the internet."  
"The five beers," growls John in a low voice, "was it you?"  
"Good job, Sherlock," answers Seithei sarcastically.  
"Why?"  
"How else was I going to make your friends believe that you were dead drunk? Good thing everyone knows you're a lightweight, I couldn't have pulled off that kind of stunt otherwise."  
"But I don't get it," says John as he shakes his head and sits on his bed. "Why did they let you bring me back?"  
"Akinari wanted to help. He's a good friend," states Seithei. "But I insisted. They thought I'd only drunk one beer, you know, so they thought I was the right choice. And besides, I wasn't going to hang out with them at some stupid club, so it was two birds with one stone: I went back to the dorm with you, and they could keep on having fun."  
"But we didn't go to the dorm."  
"We didn't," agrees Seithei.  
"Where did you drag me?"  
"Well, that's a secret I can't share," he answers. 

It's obvious he's having a lot of fun with this from the way he's smiling at John, with the look of a kid who enjoys ripping wings from a fly and burning ants with a looking glass.  
John feels anger boiling and rising inside of him, and he spits: "Fuck you, Seithei."  
The taller boy just laughs.  
John storms out of the room, feeling completely powerless.

Seithei's behaviour doesn't change towards him over the days, except sometimes John catches him staring with a smile and it creeps him out like nothing else ever has, and most likely ever will. He regrets telling Seithei that he looks better when he smiles.

Sometimes John feels like he remembers what happened, but it's his imagination associating images from the video with feelings.  
The fact is that the only one who knows what really happened is Seithei. He can only imagine that the moans he heard in the video, moans that were his own, indicated that there was pleasure, and it makes him sick to the stomach whenever he thinks about it.  
He's often feeling sick to the stomach, because he's practically constantly thinking about it.

He feels anxious all the time, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep. He doesn't sleep well, either. He feels like he's always having nightmares, even if he doesn't quite remember them all.

Despite all of this, Seithei doesn't tell him to do anything. It seems the only requirement for that video to stay with Seithei is for John to remain his roomate.  
John's still worried Seithei might ask him to do other things.

Things stay this way for a week. Two weeks.  
John tries to behave as he always does with Lana, with Akinari, with Louis, Eli, and most of all with Taylor. He's extra careful with her, because she knows him better than anyone else.  
He's not sure he's doing a great job at it, but it seems to suffice. The only thing she notices is that he seems slightly tired.  
He tells her it's because of how much they work.

John slowly starts relaxing. He stops being so jumpy, he stops feeling anxious whenever someone talks to him, but he's still a bit nervous whenever Seithei's around.  
He thinks this could be worse.

And then it does get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I'd really like to have feedback about how I write this, and I especially would like to know if it's realistic. I mean this is a really shitty situation for John. I hope I'm writing it well enough, so that you can _feel_ how fucked he is.  
>  Anyways, thanks for reading, and most importantly, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	17. Chapter 17

It starts that night.  
That night, the first night Seithei lays his hands on John that he can remember, the first night Seithei starts blackmailing him into true silence and utter compliance.

That night, John sleeps. His doubts and worries about Seithei's actions have started to settle down, so his sleep is more peaceful than it has been in a while, and he's dreaming.  
What he's dreaming about, he won't remember upon waking up: his emotions will overwhelm the last remnants of his sleep. However right now, he is dreaming about sun and grass. His mom's garden, back at home. It doesn't look the way he remembers it as, but in his dream, John knows that it is that garden. He's sitting on a white chair- he can't see it, because in his dream he's staring ahead, but he knows it's white. It's nice and warm and it smells like flowers. Across the lavender bushes that line the garden, there's a river, and a giant glass wheel towering over everything else. The glass towel is turning slowly, and it glints under the moonlight. Night had settled around him, the air starts getting cooler, and John looks down at his arms that rest on each side of the chair: a ladybug is walking on his forearm.  
John looks up again, and in front of him, he sees something blue weaving around the darkened grass. He starts feeling a bit afraid. His chair is gone, he's standing up, his back against a tent. And then he feels a snail climb up his neck, and 

He opens his eyes.

It's dark- Where is he?  
The bedroom.  
Something wet trailing along his skin, something very much real.

He jolts upright, and a dark shadow tumbles to the ground right next to him. He blinks the fog of his sleep away and brings his hand to his neck, feeling the humidity that remains on his skin. His heart is hammering away in his chest, his eyes wide as his brain struggles to catch up with everything that's happening, and then he realizes that the shape he just knocked over could only be his roomate.  
Next to his bed, the lanky shape rises back up and John hits the light switch next to the bed, scrambling away from his roomate until his back hits the wall. He doesn't fully understand what's happening, but he knows that whatever's going on, it can't be good. He tries to raise his voice, but the shock is preventing him from lashing out as violently as he'd like, and his voice wavers a bit. 

"What the fuck are you doing man?!"

Seithei blinks at the bright light and brings a hand up to shield his eyes from it. John tries to calm down, but it's hard to slow down his breathing when his creepy roomate is staring at him without saying a word.

"Answer me!"

The dark-haired boy lowers his arm, squints a bit. After a while, he asks quietly:  
"What do you think?"

"Just tell me what the fuck you were doing!"

"I don't feel like telling you, I'm sure you know the answer," says Seithei. "Next time you wake up while I do this, don't push me off the bed."

John stares at him with wide eyes. "While you do what?"

Seithei just shrugs and turns around to walk to his bed. "Turn off the lights, I want to sleep."  
John watches his roomate incredulously while Seithei slips under his covers and turns his back to him. He can't believe this. Was Seithei just... licking his neck?  
 _Please tell me that's not it._  
But what else could it have been?

Suddenly, Seithei growls: "The lights."  
John's eyes widen some more and he hurriedly hits the switch again, darkness immediately falling over the room. Then he stays completely still in his bed, not daring to make another move. His blood is racing through his body, loudly pulsing in his ears. He hopes Seithei wasn't doing anything other than licking his neck, which is already disgusting enough.

He doesn't know how long he stays like this, but he's still frozen in his sitting position long after Seithei's breathing becomes loud and steady.  
He doesn't fall back asleep. As soon as his roomate's phone lights up to vibrate at 6:45AM and Seithei starts moving again, he throws himself out of his bed and bolts to the restroom in the dorm's hall to lock himself in.  
He doesn't come out until 7:30AM, once he's positively sure that Seithei has left the bedroom. He doesn't go downstairs to eat breakfast that morning, and he's one of the earliest to enter the classroom.

Lana arrives before Akinari and when she steps inside, she sees John with his head resting on his arms. She walks up to him, throwing her purple coat on her chair, and sits down next to him while starting to chat in her usual cheery way.  
"Difficult morning for you, huh! Did you get some sleep?"  
When he doesn't react to her presence, she studies him a little closer. His eyes are closed.  
"John?"  
She pokes him, and he just grunts.  
"Are you sleeping? It's only the first class of the day, you know!"  
John doesn't answer, and Lana leans back in her chair, a bit miffed by his lack of response. She doesn't insist, however, and she soons turns around to talk to another classmate.

Akinari joins them a bit later, and when he sees John sleeping on his desk he tries to shake him awake.  
"John?"  
The blonde lifts up his head at the sound of his voice and Akinari notices right away the bags under his eyes. He smiles sympathetically and asks:  
"Bad night?"  
John nods slowly. "The worst."  
"Did you have a nightmare or something?"  
"Yeah... I seem to get a lot of those lately."  
"Does Taylor know?"  
This time, John shakes his head. "I didn't tell her. She thinks I'm tired because of work."  
Akinari frowns. "Why lie?"  
John lowers his head back down and says in a muffled voice: "Don't want her to worry."

His friend stares at him with a concerned expression. Maybe John hasn't gotten better at handling stress and he just has a different way of doing it now, a less obvious one than before. Or maybe he's just having some troubles he hasn't told him about, like with his mom. Maybe he's having troubles with his girlfriend, which is why he's lying to her. Maybe it's simply work getting to him.  
Akinari turns back to his backpack and takes out a sheet of paper and his pen. If John wants to sleep in class, he's not going to stop him.

In the end, John doesn't sleep during the lesson, but he does lean on his elbow a lot more often than usual and feels himself nodding off a few times. Of course, having avoided breakfast that morning, he starts feeling hungry pretty early and his friends don't fail to notice the rumbling of his belly.  
Akinari glances at him but doesn't say anything about it, and Lana discreetly hands him a cereal bar. The crinkling of the wrapper is too loud, however, and when the teacher shoots him a look John gives up. He has no choice but to wait for lunch. Lana gestures to him that he keep the snack.

Before they leave to eat at the cafeteria, Akinari holds John back and tells Lana to go ahead if she wants to. The girl just smiles and assures them that she'll wait for them right outside the classroom before leaving them to themselves.  
Akinari sits back down on his chair and John does the same, noticing the concern in his friend's eyes. Sure enough, the first thing Akinari says is: "Is there something going on that I don't know about?"  
John smiles lightly. "No, everything's fine, don't worry. Aside from my sleep, I'm doing okay."  
"Why do you think you're having trouble sleeping?"  
"I don't know," shrugs John. "I'm sure it'll pass."  
His friend doesn't look convinced. "You've been looking a bit tired for three weeks, I think you should see a doctor or something to make sure you're not sick."  
John laughs and waves his troubles away. "What, are you my mother now? You've already got Louis to look after."  
"Yeah, but Louis isn't the same kind of friend you are to me," insists Akinari with a meaningful gaze. "And I don't know if you realize it, but I can say from experience that you're kind of bad at looking after yourself."  
"From experience?" All traces of laughter have left John's face, which is suddenly set in a grim expression. "Didn't we agree to say that I've changed?"  
Akinari realizes that his remark might have been a bit insensitive, since John obviously made some effort to handle himself better over the last two years, but he doesn't back down.   
"Look, John, obviously you manage your stress better, but I've got no idea if that means you've also gotten better at watching your health. I'm just being cautious, all right?"  
"Well you don't have to be. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself," bristles John.  
Akinari beholds his irritated gaze. John reverted to sarcasm just now, something that isn't usually his thing, which means his friend is pretty pissed. He decides to let up, raising his hands in surrender.  
"All right, all right. I'll stop bugging you about it."  
"Thank you," answers John with a hardened voice, and then he stands up and leaves his friend behind.

Akinari hears Lana call out to the blonde to wait for them, and a few moments later she appears in the doorway with a confused expression.  
"What did you guys talk about? He looks really mad...."  
Akinari shrugs helplessly. "I just told him to look after himself better. I don't know, maybe I should've tried to be a bit more tactful."  
Lana smiles. "What, are you their mother? You're alway telling them to watch after themselves!"  
The Asian boy stands up and sighs. "Why does everyone react like that? I just care about them, that's all..."  
"It's okay, Aki, it's just that they're grown-up, you know? Like you! They've had their mothers on their back for ages and now that they're free you're ruining their freedom, you see?"  
"I guess," shrugs Akinari.  
Lana steps up to him and tugs on his arm. "Come on, let's go find John so we can eat!"

They don't find John, despite sending him an army of texts, and in the end he's the one who finds them. When they ask him why he ignored the texts, he says he needed to clear his head. Akinari contemplates his friend, whose head doesn't seem any clearer, without commenting. It seems the blonde doesn't harbour any hard feelings for their earlier discussion and he just makes normal conversation while they eat. Akinari is careful to survey if his friend eats his entire meal, and at one moment their gazes cross. When John notices his friend scrutinizing him, he finishes his plate while holding eye contact to signify that he knows full well what Akinari is looking out for.  
So Akinari relaxes, realizing he _is_ acting too nosy. Bad experiences are simply hard to forget, especially when they concern someone he cares for a lot.  
Then again, it was a long time ago.

The rest of the day goes on normally, except that evening John doesn't leave the library with his friends.  
"I've got some work to catch up on," he lies.  
Akinari shoots him a dubious look- why would John have any more work than he or Lana?- but John makes up a story about how he needs to train in one subject because he's not good enough at it, and it's convincing enough that his friend accepts it without questioning.

John ends up falling asleep instead of working, the fatigue of the day becoming too great to ignore. When he wakes up, there are only a dozen of students left, and he only wakes up because the librarian is shaking his shoulder to tell him it's closing time and that he has to leave.  
John gathers his stuff, dearly hoping that Seithei has gone to sleep already. After all, Seithei always goes to bed early.

Of course, things are never that easy.

When he cautiously opens the door to his room and the first thing he sees is inky darkness, he feels a spur of hope, thinking that if the lights are out, it's surely because Seithei is sleeping. He doesn't risk turning on the lights to check, doesn't even use his phone's bright screen to see where he's stepping, and he feels his way along the wall to reach his bed.

Unfortunately, as he's moving forward, his hand unvoluntarily hits the light switch next to his bed and the room is suddenly flooded in light.

He feels his stomach twist and drop and whips around, expecting to see his roomate's shifting shape in the bed across the room, but to his great surprise there is no such shape under the dark green covers.  
He briefly feels confused- he was so sure that Seithei was in the room with him- and then anxiety starts pooling in his gut. If Seithei isn't here, that means he could be back any minute. And if there's one thing John doesn't want, it's a confrontation with the dark-haired boy.

For a moment, John is frozen in indecision. What should he do? Take a quick shower or none at all? Throw his phone to the side? Change clothes right away? Leave before Seithei comes back? Stay? Hide?

He doesn't need to choose. The door suddenly slams close behind him, and John spins around in fright to face his roomate. Seithei smiles at him, an act which does nothing but unnerve John, and the dark haired boy walks to his side of the room at a slow, leisurely pace.  
John stays still. He feels like a rabbit caught in headlights.  
The boy sits down in his chair and faces John, his hands clasped together, elbows lowered on his knees in a relaxed stance.  
And after a moment of silence, he speaks.

"Well?"

John remains transfixed in front of his roomate. His mind is blank. What does Seithei expect him to answer?

The boy smiles again. "Usually I'm the one to leave early in the morning. Were you trying to avoid me?"  
"...No," answers John. His voice is so unconvincingly small that it almost make him wince.  
"Then where were you?"  
Seithei stares at John, waiting for an answer, and John can only stare back. He doesn't have an excuse. He should've though about it before coming back, dammit!  
Seithei straightens in his chair. "Not answering? At least you know better than to try and lie to me."

Then his roomate stands back up, his eyes trained on John with an eerie intensity. The blonde takes a step back.  
"Are you afraid of what I'm going to do to you in your sleep?" he continues. "Then why come back?"  
John gulps. Why did he come back? He could've gone to Aki's room- no, Akinari would've been too suspicious if he tried to sleep in his room. Taylor, then? But interns can't leave on a weekday.  
"You don't know how to answer that either?" insists Seithei as he moves forward.  
John retreats until he feels the back of his knees bump against his bed, and Seithei doesn't stop advancing.  
"I'll tell you why, then. You came back here because deep down, you know it's pointless to try and avoid me."

Seithei stops in front of him.  
In a voice which wavers a bit too much for his liking, John manages to ask: "What are you going to do?"  
The other shrugs. "Tonight? Nothing. But I might try something again later this week. There's no point asking me when I'll do this kind of thing, I only do it when I feel like it. I can't predict when I'll feel like it."

The boy is a good head taller than him, and John has to look up for their eyes to meet. Seithei is so close to him, he can feel his presence in front of him in the way he breathes, and moves, in the warmth his body gives off. Nothing has ever felt this threatening to him before.  
Then Seithei tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. "You look lost. Afraid. Like the little lamb in that poem, when it realizes it can't avoid its fate, right before it gets eaten by the big bad wolf." He laughs softly, a short sound that John has never heard him make before. A sound which sends uncomfortable shivers down his spine. "I'm the big bad wolf, then, is that it?"  
John doesn't move.

Seithei's smile disappears and his hand suddenly pushes John back, and the blonde falls on his bed with a short cry of surprise. The taller boy doesn't leave him any time to react or to escape and he pins John to his bed, climbing on top of him and holding his wrists to each side of his head.  
"Get off me!" cries out the blonde as he struggles to escape the other's hold on him, something that would've been an easier feat had he not started feeling short of breath, had panic not started to drown out reason, had he thought of kneeing Seithei in the stomach or a lower region. But none of that happens, because John is to busy flailing and twisting around to think about which strategic points to hit on his roomate's body.  
"Stop moving," growls Seithei in a cold, menacing voice, the grip of his curled fingers tightening around the shorter boy's wrists.  
But John doesn't listen to him, and he continues to buck frantically under him, until Seithei's hand suddenly lets go of one of his wrists and lands a hard, stinging slap across his cheek, so harsh that it makes John's world shake a bit and his ears ring.  
"I SAID STOP MOVING," roars Seithei.  
The sharp pain stuns John and he momentarily stops fighting against the other's hold, his eyes wide from shock as the smarting fire starts spreading across his cheek.

"That's better," says Seithei as his hand returns to holding his wrist. "Now you listen to me, John. You don't fight. You don't scream. You don't try to escape in any way, and that means looking for help or avoiding me. When I do something to you, you don't resist. You know what'll happen if you do. Do you understand?"  
John nods, still a bit dazed by the earlier blow.  
"Good. If I let go of your arms, you don't move. You don't do anything. Get it?"  
He nods again.

"Very good. You're starting to get an idea of what kind of obedience I expect of you," says Seithei with an approving smile as he releases his grip on the boy's wrists and plants his fists on each side of the bed. "So, John. Have you guessed what I did to you last night?"  
John doesn't answer and keeps staring at the face hovering above his.  
"Answer the question, John," says Seithei with a voice that's just dropped two octaves lower.  
John jolts out of his shocked state at the threatening tone and nods in reply.  
"What was it?" asks the other.  
"Y...You licked my neck," he answers quietly, unable to prevent his light stuttering.  
Seithei nods slowly, as if encouraging a timid child to speak. "Yes. What else?"

John is looking up at him with a clueless expression, and Seithei understands that the blonde hasn't made it any further than that. Oh, well.  
"It's okay if you don't know. You'll feel it next time," he assures his roomate. Then he straightens and climbs off the boy's bed, but he's stopped by the shaky voice in his back.  
"W-Why are you doing this?" asks John, and Seithei feels a jolt of pleasure at the sound of the frightened confusion in his roomate's voice, at his desperate attempt to _understand_. How very innocent and naive of him. Had it belonged to his vocabulary, he would've qualified the attempt as adorable.

Seithei turns around and shrugs nonchalantly. "Why not?"  
"Why are you like this?" insists the blonde. He looks like he's about to cry, probably in frustration from being powerless at the hands of a person whose actions have no sense, no reason, nothing that could explain why this is happening to him. The look on his face isn't the same as the one he had when Seithei showed him the video, but it has about the same effect: the dark-haired boy can feel warmth pooling in his groin. On second thought, it has more effect than the desperate anger John showed him earlier that month. Not only does it arouse him, it delights him. He has total control of his roomate, no matter how desperate he is, no matter how unfair John finds it all. He has him now, and he's not letting go any time soon.

Not now that he finally has a human under his thumb.  
 _What fun_ , thinks Seithei.

"What made you like this?" continues John when his roomate doesn't answer.  
Seithei chuckles. "Oh, John. Nothing made me. I made myself."  
John doesn't find anything to answer to that, and he just stares at the other with disbelieving eyes. Why do all his questions slide off the guy like rain off an umbrella? Why can't he find any cause for this situation? Why can't he solve Seithei like he can other people?  
"You're not normal," he murmures. "You're crazy."  
"Haha," laughs Seithei again. "Another word that describes me well." He lifts up his hand and starts listing off terms while counting them on his fingers. "So far I've had insane, crazy, sociopath, psychopath, sadistic, cruel, and now thanks to you I've also got big bad wolf." He looks at John and smiles. "I like that last one the most. Although, I'm probably forgetting a bunch right now."

 _Fuck_ , thinks John. _He's crazy. He really is._

Seithei watches John's face as it pales just a bit, and he wonders if he can try and push him a little further. Would it be reasonable to do that? After all, John used to be prone to anxiety and the like. Should Seithei give his mind to much fodder to feed off, it could backfire. But then again... It's very tempting. And it's just a little detail to add on the long list of things he's already done to John that are wrong.

"I stole your nailcutter," he says.  
John's eyes register confusion, and then understanding, closely followed by incredulity. "...What?"  
"I stole your nailcutter, you didn't lose it. And I also stole two or three of your pens, which is why you keep having to buy new ones." _And I have pictures of you_ , mentally adds Seithei, _but that revelation's for another time_.  
"...Why the fuck...?" utters John, but he doesn't complete his question, recognizing something in Seithei's eyes. Perhaps he recognizes anticipation or thrill, but what he sees there make him realize that Seithei _wants_ to explain why, _wants_ him to know. And now John doubts that he wants that as well.  
"I didn't think it would go this far, you know. At first just taking your stuff was fine, but as much as I like masturbating to your belongings, I have to say it doesn't quite live up to the hype. When you told me about you guys going out to drink to celebrate, it was a perfect opportunity. I merely seized it."  
"You sick fuck," breathes John. He's feeling dizzy, like everything that surrounds him is spinning out of control. Masturbating? To a nailcutter? To a pen? How does that even work?

Seithei notices the blonde's breathing get faster and shorter. Ah. Could this be a precursor to those panic attacks he used to have?  
"Now now, John, don't forget to breathe. I told you, I'm leaving you alone for tonight," he says in a comforting tone.  
The blonde swallows convulsively and buries his head in his hands, and then starts taking deep breaths.

He can't panic. He can't, not right now. He has to figure this out, he has to try and control the situation.  
"Anyways," says his roomate with a voice that sounds distant and muffled through the roaring in his ears, "don't worry. I'm just going to go to bed, so you can do the same. Try to eat breakfast tomorrow, it would be bad if you collapsed in the middle of the day."  
John's head snaps up and he watches as Seithei turns away and starts walking towards the bathroom. Those words... No, he's imagining things. Seithei doesn't know about that, it can't be.

He lets his head fall back in his hands and breathes out a shaky sigh, one strangled by worry and confusion. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know if there's anything he _can_ do.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knows that he can't do anything, no matter how hard he tries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> Seithei, you effing creep... Sometimes I suddenly remember that I'm the one writing him and ask myself why my brain gave birth to such a sicko. Also poor John. I guess I'm just a sadist.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	18. Chapter 18

True to his word, Seithei doesn't do anything to John that night. 

The blonde has a very hard time sleeping. He tosses and turns all night, nervously anticipating for something to happen again, falling asleep sporadically and waking up in a heartbeat. His light sleep is disturbed again when he hears Seithei get up in the morning, and although he fears that the boy will try to near his bed and touch him, Seithei does no such thing. John pretends to sleep, his eyes squeezed shut with his back turned to his roomate, so he can only listen to what his roomate is doing. At one moment, Seithei's movements fall silent. The moment stretches out and John feels his armpits slowly dampening. Is Seithei staring at him right now?   
Does he know he's not sleeping?   
Is he going to try and do something weird again?  
Then he hears his roomate quietly laugh to himself, pick up his stuff and leave. What he was laughing about, he has no idea.

Following Seithei's order, John goes downstairs to eat breakfast that morning. Seithei must be monitoring him somehow, how else would he have known that he hadn't eaten breakfast the day before? John can't take any chances, and he can't go against Seithei, even if he doesn't feel hungry at all.

In class, Akinari notices the palor of his face and the bags under his eyes which have yet to disappear, but he doesn't comment on it.

This time John doesn't try to avoid Seithei after classes are over, so he leaves the library with his friends. Their paths diverge near the boy's dorm, and Lana continues her way to hers. Akinari and John climb up the stairs in silence. John doesn't feel like talking, and Akinari understands.  
The only thing Akinari asks is: "Are you okay?"  
To which John replies: "Just tired."

And then they part ways at John's floor, and he has to head to his room alone.  
When he opens the door, Seithei spins around in his seat and exclaims: "What a good little lamb! I see you did everything as I told you to."  
John closes the door behind him and stays put, only giving him a nod in reply.  
"Isn't it so much better eating breakfast before classes start?" says Seithei with a little smile, and John nods again.  
"And now you've surely realized how easier it is to come back to me as usual, rather than try and avoid me," states his roomate. Then, after a while, he adds: "Are you scared? Or is this some kind of rebellious act, not answering me with words?"  
"No, it's not," hurriedly answers John.

Seithei rises from his chair and walks up to him. John doesn't move, although he does have a small movement of recoil when the other stops in front of him and leans against the door with one arm, his face closer to his own than he'd like. Just like last evening, John feels incredibly small and threatened as Seithei towers over him with minor difficulty.  
The dark-haired boy isn't smiling anymore. His other hand reaches for John's bag and pulls it off his shoulder, letting it land on the ground with a loud smack. John manages not to flinch at the sound.  
"Are you scared, little lamb?" asks Seithei.  
John doesn't answer, but he wishes he could answer no in a convincing manner.  
"I take your silence as a yes. You don't have to be scared of me, you know. We can make this a pleasant experience for both of us."  
"Pleasant?" mockingly echoes John without thinking, and then instantly regrets it.  
However, Seithei looks surprised by his answer rather than annoyed. "Yes, pleasant. Do you not know what it means?"  
"No, I know what it means. It's just that... This isn't supposed to be pleasant to anyone who's in my situation."  
"Oh, you mean the blackmail? Sure, you can play the victim all you want, but at the end of the day you'll enjoy it. We're going to have fun, you and I, and all you have to do to make it easier for yourself is just admit that it would feel good if you just let it."  
"What exactly are you talking about?" frowns John.  
"Ah, that's right, I forgot you hadn't found all the answers to yesterday's question." Seithei smiles, and his finger brushes against John's lower lip before he has the time to jerk away. "We'll talk about this again when you'll have them."  
Then he pushes himself away from the door and returns to his desk. John is left staring at Seithei's back with a whirlwind of confusion raging in his head and a very unpleasant tingling sensation left on his lower lip.

Seithei doesn't touch him this time either, and he sleeps a bit better than the night before. When he stares at his reflection the following morning, the bags under his eyes have receded enough that they won't worry anyone about how his night went.

The next night is the same.  
Even if he sleeps better, John doesn't let his guard down. Seithei's question and answers still worry him.

He spends Saturday at Taylor's, and he feels very grateful at the prospect of finally spending a night without Seithei around.  
They spend a leisurely, quiet, nice day. John catches up on the homework he should've done two days ago but was too distracted by Seithei's presence to do correctly, and Taylor makes use of the studious atmosphere to motivate herself to work as well.  
The typing of her computer makes John somewhat nervous, without him realizing it. Taylor is the one to notice when she looks up from her keyboard and sees him scratching his lower lip with the nail of his thumb, a gesture she hasn't seen him do for quite a while but reminds her of less pleasant times.

At first, she gives him the benefit of the doubt and lets a few moments go by, because maybe his lip is itchy and that's why he's doing it, but then she also notices his side twitch regularly and guesses that his knee is jumping up and down under the table. This leaves little place to doubt and she reaches out to gently catch her boyfriend's hand.  
He looks up at her with a puzzled expression and she says: "You were scratching your lip."  
"Oh," answers John.  
"Why are you so nervous?" asks Taylor, as she entwines her fingers with his to calm him down.  
"I'm not nervous," says John earnestly, and Taylor almost believes it because John isn't lying: she'd know if he was. However, the signs all point to the opposite of what he says.  
"You are, John. I recognize it when you're nervous."  
The blonde seems to realize that she's right and he looks down at his papers. "It's probably my work, then."

John knows that's not the real reason, because he just now understood why he couldn't concentrate: the sound of Taylor's keyboard. It reminds him of Seithei and he wasn't even conscious about it until now.

Taylor frowns concernedly. "John, you keep telling me that work is tiring you, and now it looks like it's making you anxious as well. Have you talked to Akinari about it?"  
John leans back in his chair but keeps holding onto her hand. "He can't do much about that, can he?"  
"I'm just a bit worried," she says.  
He shrugs. "It's fine. It'll pass."  
"Are you sure there's nothing else that's troubling you?" asks Taylor, her taupe-colored eyes searching John's for the truth.  
He slips his fingers away from hers and looks to the side. "I'm telling you, my lessons are a bit harder this month, but I'm sure I'll make it through."

Taylor recognizes the way he averts his eyes. It's the way he has of doing when he's lying.  
She wishes he wouldn't do that.  
"...All right," she answers. 

John recognizes that tone. It's the tone she has when she doesn't believe him.  
He feels something tug at his heart. Regret, probably.

Then Taylor closes her laptop and gets up, but before she leaves the table she leans over and grabs John by the chin to kiss him. John kisses her back.  
It's a soft kiss, the kind they use when one of them needs comfort.  
Then she pulls back and says: "Couch dinner?"  
"Sure," answers John with a smile.

They eat in the couch in front of some crappy TV show about a cliché detective investigating the murder of a rich lady's daughter. The blood looks like tomato sauce, the lines are cheesy and the actor playing the detective is taking his role way too seriously. It makes them both laugh.  
When they're done eating, Taylor makes a move to clean up the dishes but John holds her back and does it in her stead. When he comes back from the kitchen, she pats the couch next to him and tells him she wants to sit between his legs. He smiles and does what she wants, and soon his back is against the pillow covering the armrest and Taylor is lying down with her head on his chest.  
They watch the detective finally figure out the murderer's identity, whose motive was to marry the widowed lover of the daughter, and his chase through the city to catch the criminal. When he catches the perpetrator and watches her get taken away by the cops, the shot slowly zooms in on his profile and he utters some overused line about how women's ways are mysterious and often deadly- cue the dingy music and credits.

Taylor reaches for the remote control and turns the TV off, drops it on the couch and pushes herself up to kiss John's neck. Then she sits back and asks: "Tired?"  
He shrugs. "Not really."  
"You've been yawning all afternoon."  
".... You're right. I am tired."  
They both get off the couch, stretch, and walk to the bathroom to get ready for bed.  
They don't do anything but sleep that night, and as John drifts away with Taylor's fingers carding through his hair, he wishes he could stay here all week.

And then comes the dreaded time when he has to return to the dorm. He knows Taylor notices how down he feels about it, because no matter how naturally or often he tries to smile, he can't help but be a little bit tense. And if there's one thing that never escapes Taylor's notice, it's when he feels tense.  
When he opens the door of her car to step out, she stops him by grabbing his elbow and asks: "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"  
"Yeah, I told you, it'll pass. Everything's fine, don't worry."  
After briefly contemplating his face, she reluctantly lets go of him and says: "All right. Give me a call whenever you feel bad, you know I'm there for you."  
"I know," he smiles reassuringly. "Love you, Tay."  
"Love you too."  
_

When he walks into his bedroom, Seithei glances at him and his expression morphs into a somewhat disapproving one after catching sigh of John's face. However, he doesn't say anything and returns his gaze to the computer in front of him without a single comment, and John doesn't dare ask why he just pulled that face. Seithei's been more expressive ever since he's managed to get John under his thumb, but whatever expressions he shows, John rarely understands. It never makes much sense to him, and he's not about to ask for an explanation.

It turns out he doesn't need to. Later that evening, as he rinses his toothbrush under the faucet, he hears Seithei's voice behind him.  
"John, I have a question for you."  
He whips around in surprise and his eyes meet those of his roomate. Seithei has his arms crossed and is leaning against the door frame, and he seems serious.  
John cautiously drops his toothbrush in his glass. "...What is it?"  
"Do you love your girlfriend?"  
"Um..." John doesn't know if this is some trick question of some kind, or a test, but either way he feels like the question is stupid. Of course he loves Taylor, he's her boyfriend, and why would Seithei even want to know?  
The blonde can see that Seithei is waiting for his answer, so he ventures: "...Yes."  
Seithei nods slowly. "I see. That is what a boyfriend does, after all."  
 _Exactly_ , thinks John, _so why ask_?  
"Do you really think you can keep seeing her despite our little situation?"  
John stares at Seithei. Could this be a threat of some kind? Or genuine curiosity?  
"...It doesn't concern you."  
Seithei smiles and straightens, uncrossing his arms. "No, it doesn't. But you're not stupid. You'll figure it out by yourself."  
Then he leaves the bathroom, and John understands the disapproving look Seithei shot him earlier. His roomate doesn't want him seeing Taylor, and wants John to break things off with her. For what reason? He hasn't said, and John doesn't know.

John turns back to the sink and stares at his reflection in the mirror.   
He can't do that. He can't lose Taylor, especially not when things are like this. She's the only peace he can get in this horrible nightmare. He won't do it, he won't give in to Seithei, not for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I don't know what to say. It's late, and I'm tired, and everytime I post a new chapter like this I end up rereading it two times before actually posting it, which means by the time I'm sure it's good enough to be posted it's even later in the night so I'm even more tired, and typos still get through! Argh. Typos are really frustrating. I don't know if it's just me, but my laptop's slow when I want to correct those on AO3 and it just doesn't make things any easier.  
> End of the rant.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


	19. Chapter 19

"John, can we talk?"

The blonde looks up from his textbook. Akinari is standing next to him with a serious expression, the kind of look he gets when John is about to receive a lecture of some kind. Probably about his health, again.  
He looks around. He doesn't catch sight of Lana anywhere in the classroom, even though the next lesson starts in ten minutes and the classroom is almost full.

His friend spots his confusion. "She left to get a snack. Did you not see her leave?"  
"...No." John looks down and finally notices that the textbook he opened five minutes ago is the wrong one. He hurriedly closes it and puts it back in his bag, but it doesn't escape Akinari's attention. His friend frowns.  
"You know, you've been really distracted lately. I know you don't like talking about this kind of thing, but... You're not leaving me much choice here."  
John leans back. "Something tells me I'm not going to like this."  
"No, you won't." Akinari pulls out his chair and sits down. "Taylor sent me a message on Monday, and I wasn't going to talk about it until I felt like her worries were justified. I feel like it now."  
John sighs and lifts a hand to his face. "She sent you a message."  
"Yes."  
"About what?"  
"She said you were anxious this weekend, and she wanted to know what I thought about it."

John clenches his teeth. Of course she'd do that. He wants to say _why, why does she have to tell Akinari about it, why can't she keep it to herself, it only makes things more complicated for me_ , but he knows why. She's worried. He would do exactly the same if he were in her shoes.

"She told me you were doing that thing again, where you scratch your lip when you're nervous. She thinks it can't be a good sign and I agree with her. I saw you do it twice this morning."  
John doesn't remove his hand from his face. He knows he's been getting more nervous over the last few days because Seithei still hasn't done anything to him. He's probably waiting for John to lower his guard again so that whatever he's planning on doing can have an even greater impact on him when he does take action.  
He's going to have to be more careful with his tics.

"Can you tell me why you're so nervous?"  
Akinari stares at his friend, but John stays silent.  
After a long while, Akinari leans forward. "You can't?"

John lets his hand fall to his lap and sighs again. "I don't want to talk about this. I don't need to explain myself."  
"I'm worried, John. Taylor's worried. If Lana knew about your past issues, she'd be worried too. That's why I need to know what's going on with you. I don't want a repeat of those years, not when you seem to have gotten better. Do you understand at least that? Me and Taylor, we... We just want you to be okay."  
John turns to his friend and stares at him with hardened eyes. "I _am_ okay, all right? I'm just a bit nervous! I'm not having some kind of breakdown or fallback, okay, it's not like I was on drugs back then. I just had trouble controlling my emotions. I'm still eating just fine, right? I'm not sick, I'm not passing out, I'm not getting attacks, I'm not freaking out or obessing over things, so _why_ are you so worried?"  
"It started with you having trouble sleeping, John," Akinari reminds him. "And then it was just a downards spiral from there."  
"I was a kid when it started," retorts John. "I can handle stress now. Just because I'm nervous doesn't mean this is the beginning of a new cycle of disorders. Besides, what could cause this in the first place?"  
"That's what I want to know," states Akinari.  
"What do you think?" asks John.  
"To be honest with you, I was thinking it might be related to your parents."  
"Well that-"

John cuts off and stares at Akinari. Yes. That could work.  
He can just tell him that his mother is having troubles, and that's why he's anxious. After all, she's always been incoherent in her way of handling money, and she does have debts, even if they've gotten used to living that way. If he told him her debts were the reason why he's nervous, he'd believe it.

Akinari frowns at his friend's sudden silence. "John?"  
The blonde shakes his head and his eyes seem clearer when he speaks again. "Yes. Sorry, I just- spaced out a bit. Uh, my parents, I mean, my mom... I mean, that might be true."  
"What is?"  
"Maybe I _am_ nervous because of her."  
"What's the matter with Rose?" asks Akinari with genuine concern written all over his face.  
"Money problems. You know how she's bad with her economies."  
"I see." Akinari leans back. "I didn't know."  
"Yeah."  
"That's why you haven't been sleeping well?"  
"I guess so."

They remain silent for a moment.

Then John speaks up. "I'm sure it'll get better. You guys don't need to worry about me."  
Akinari shakes his head. "Sorry, but you know I can't do that, and neither can Tay. The least I can do is stop badgering you about it, but I can't speak for Taylor."  
"That's good enough for me," says John. "I just don't want to talk about it, that's all. Of course, I'd feel better if you stopped caring so much about my problems, but I'll understand if you can't."  
Akinari smiles at him. "Then it's a deal. You should talk about your mom with Taylor, I'm sure that knowing what's been bothering you would make her feel much better."  
"About that," John cuts in. "I'd prefer if she didn't know."  
"Why?"  
"I don't want her to know about the money problems. Mom wouldn't want that information to get out. You have to keep it to yourself."  
His friend nods. "I get it. So Taylor will just have to think that it's because of our work?"  
"...Yes. I don't like lying to her, but I'd like it even less if she tried to help us financially."  
"Yeah, she's like that, huh. I'd forgotten." Akinari pauses, then he shrugs. "Fine. We'll keep things that way."  
"Thanks, Aki." John really means that. He feels like a weight's been lifted off his shoulders now that he has an excuse for the unusual way he's been acting.  
"Sure."  
_

It happens again that night, while John is sleeping.

This time, contrary to the last, John doesn't jolt awake. He floats back to consciousness and as his eyes open slowly, he feels hair brushing across his chest. He half mindedly thinks that he's back at Tay's, smiling and reaching out to caress her head.  
And then he realizes that the hair under his fingers isn't long and smooth, but a tangled mass of wavy hair. The second thing he realizes is the feeling of someone touching him-  
Down there.

His eyes snap open and he sees his roomate's dark shape hovering over him, his face directly above his and staring at him. Seithei's breathing is uncomfortably loud and he's slipped one of his hands under the belt of John's pants. John is about to scream when the other falls on top of him and a hand clamps down on his mouth to silence him, and his scream comes out as a ridiculous high-pitched whine.  
"Don't move or I crush whatever is in my hand," hisses Seithei, and his fingers tighten around John's shaft to back up his threat. The blonde freezes up instantly, his eyes wide open in the dark as he tries to make out the other's features.

Seithei can feel John's warm, frantic breaths ghosting under his fingers, and he smiles.  
"Don't panic, now. I've done this before."

John feels the hand on his genital parts loosen and start moving again, and he can't repress the disgusted shudder that travels through his body when Seithei's fingers trail up and down his length.  
"Now do you know the answer?" asks Seithei's voice as he removes his hand from John's mouth.  
John can't believe this is happening.

"Stop," he utters, breathless from the shock and mostly from the weight of the other's body. "Stop this, Seithei."  
Seithei doesn't heed his words and continues fondling him against his will, and his other hand snakes around John's neck. The blonde feels his head being lifted and suddenly his mouth is covered by the other's, Seithei's slimy tongue forcing itself inside before John has the time to resist. At first, he's so taken aback he only cries out in protest, his voice muffled by the forced kiss, but then he violently turns his head away and gags. He distantly feels Seithei lean away from him.  
"You're right. No kissing for now," says his roomate softly.

John is too busy coughing and spitting to pay attention to what he's saying, and then he looks up at the shape of Seithei's face again and growls: "Fucking let me go, you sick perv!"  
He grabs the other's shoulders and tries to push him away from him, but then he feels pain explode in his lower region. He throws back his head in an agonized scream which is quickly muffled yet again by Seithei's hand, and he hears the other's voice whisper in his ear: "I warned you. Don't move."  
Then the pain disappears as fast as it came, but John can still feel the tightness that was there just moments prior, and he can feel prickling behind his eyes from the humiliation and the soreness the act leaves behind.

Seithei removes his hand and listens to the boy pant and gasp underneath him as he tries to catch his breath, and he wishes John would put up more of a fight so he could hurt him more. Of course, he could inflict him pain regardless of whether he deserved it or not, but that would ruin his project of bending John completely to his will. The pain has to exist whenever John tries to go against him, at least in the beginning. He needs to be trained. He needs to be controlled, in a way that is both efficient and durable.

"Why are you doing this?" chokes out John, once he finally manages to get his breath back.  
Seithei shrugs, an action that is wasted on John in the darkness of the bedroom. "I felt like it. You'll get used to it, don't worry."  
More than that, he feels that John has to be punished. He doesn't like how happy the blonde looks when he comes back from his girlfriend's. He doesn't like that John loves that girl. He doesn't like that John is distracted by others.  
Taylor.  
Akinari.  
Lana.  
Louis.  
Elizabeth.

Seithei doesn't like that John's attention isn't solely focused on him, and the thought makes acid anger spew into his head, and he can feel the tingling urge to crush and tear whatever is in his hand. He can barely restraing himself from giving in to the impulse.

"Let me go," says John in a frantic whisper.  
"I don't want to," answers Seithei with a sadistic grin he feels slowly spreading across his face. He continues rubbing the blonde's penis, enjoying the feeling of the shorter boy struggling under his weight.  
"It hurts," hisses John a bit desperately as he tries to wriggle away from Seithei's disgusting hold. "It really hurts, Seithei, stop."  
It hurts so much, in fact, that he can feel the tears in his eyes growing and about to spill. Seithei is mauling his sensitive cock in a way no man could ever enjoy, with tight fingers and harsh tugging, and it's like he can feel it bruising in real time.  
"It hurts because you're not obeying me," says Seithei. "If you stayed still, I wouldn't have to be so forceful."  
"I can't, stop, just stop, please," John starts begging. He can't breathe right, the pain is too strong and Seithei is too heavy, and he can feel one wet tear roll down the side of his face.  
"All right," concedes Seithei when he hears the light hitch in John's voice. His hand lets go of John's dick and he listens to the blonde's gasps as he struggles to get his breath back. John's chest is pushing against his own, fighting to expand, its warmth and firmness and frantic rise and fall sending waves of arousal to Seithei's groin.

When he feels like John has had a long enough break, he grabs his genitals again and says: "Now you're going to see how much better it is when you don't try to escape. The only thing I'm telling you to do is to stay still. Completely still. Do you understand?"  
"Yes," murmures John.  
"Good little lamb," says Seithei with a smile.

Then his fingers start moving again, lighter this time, circling John's cock without squeezing it. It still hurts from Seithei's earlier handling, but the way his hand gently trails up and down now is a lot less painful and John almost feels relieved.  
"Better, isn't it? Imagine how good it could've felt if you hadn't gotten yourself hurt before."  
"You were the one to hurt me!" protests John.  
"No, John," the other softly chides. " _You_ are responsible for the way I act. If you obey, I will be gentle. If you don't, I will be forceful. It all depends on you. You're the one to choose whether I hurt you or not."  
"That's bullshit," spits John in a poor act of bravado.  
"That's the way things work from now on, John, deal with it," says Seithei in a colder voice. He feels John shudder under him when he speaks, and the blonde doesn't try to shoot any kind of response. No doubt the underlying warning in his words have dissuaded him from trying to act braver than he is.

When he feels that John has learned his lesson, Seithei lets go of him completely and pulls his pants back up.  
"We're done for the night. Don't forget what I told you, John."  
He doesn't try to make out the blonde's expression, he already knows it's one of disgust and shame and has no problem imagining it. Instead he just leans down and lands a quick kiss on John's forehead before pushing himself off the bed.

John stares at the ceiling with clenched teeth and tears streaming down his face. He never knew he could feel so humiliated.  
The feeling of Seithei's lips on his forehead burns and itches and he can't rub it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I can't remember if I gave it to you before, but here's the link to my illustrations of Seithei and Taylor:  
> https://tanukitan.deviantart.com/art/Seithei-Reduviidae-689584299  
> https://tanukitan.deviantart.com/art/Taylor-Reduviidae-689582474  
> Anyways, thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you feel like it.


	20. Chapter 20

Seithei gazes at the text on his computer screen, at the long lines of code and blinking bars, and his fingers dance on his keyboard, but his mind is elsewhere. Every time he remembers last night, how John struggled under his weight, how he fought against his body to breathe and speak, a wave of warmth assaults the bottom of his stomach and washes through his lower region. It makes his breathing faster, his excitement peak, and he feels a thrill like he's never felt before. 

Tormenting a human being is a lot more satisfying than simply playing with animals. Rodents, birds and lizards don't cry out, and they lose control of their heartbeat too fast. Cats and dogs are too harmful, and their vocal range lacks finesse when they suffer. In general, the animals Seithei chooses to play with are too small and don't last very long.

John, on the other hand, should offer more durable distraction than all those critters. His bigger, stronger body will withstand more than what animals can, so he should last longer, and Seithei doesn't even need to get started on John's voice and facial expressions. It makes him hard just thinking about it. His teary eyes... his desperate sobbing, his tense muscles... his pleading...

The dark-haired boy grasps the side of the table and stretches his neck as a long shudder of pleasure travels through his body. He can just imagine how humiliated John must've felt, how dirty, how wrong, how powerless he must've been on that bed, laid out under his body. Seithei straightens and looks ahead, at the computer and its small, blinking light. One of his hands lets go of the desk and softly brushes his lips. He can still feel John's burning forehead against them, shivering with pain and fright and slick with sweat, he can feel the blonde's rapid breathing under him, and hear his strained voice desperately whimpering for him to stop.

Another pang of delight ripples through his groin.

Seithei presses his fingers to his lips and his small smile turns into a serious line. It's hard for him to hold back. There are so many things he wants to do that he can't, for fear his roomate might not hold out. He can't go too fast, and he can't go too far, because there's always a risk for John to give way and expose him. It's like getting a brand new toy with so many ways to play with it that he can't choose one without wishing he'd gone with another. He has many ways to torment the blonde, and there is an unlimited potential of pain he could inflict, but he has to be careful not to be too rash. He knows John is more fragile than the average individual. He knows applying too much pressure in the wrong spot will make him snap.

Seithei pushes his chair back. It's useless to continue what he's doing. He can't concentrate.  
He's just too excited.

He looks at John's side of the room. It's empty - for now. He's probably gone out to eat with his friends. Seithei wishes he could have his roomate all to himself, all the time, but that's simply not possible. Maybe he could attempt something over the break, but not right now, not in the middle of the semester. They need to keep up appearances.  
He reaches for his drawer and pulls it back, revealing a pocket knife. He takes it out and flicks it open, his gaze lingering along the edge of the blade. He should train John to obey him, then lock him up someplace where no one would ever know he was, and chain him up so he had no hope of escaping. Then Seithei could come every day to torture him until he was screaming and begging for him to stop, and when the torture did stop... 

Well, Seithei doesn't know what he would do when the torture stopped. Usually he just leaves the animal to die, but it's different with a human being. He can't just leave John to dispose of himself, because no matter how remote the location, someone would end up finding the body and linking it to him.  
Besides, Seithei doesn't want it to be that quick. Maybe he could make John a pet for life, someone he could just summon whenever he felt pent up. After all, so many experiences have proven that human are highly trainable, and when their longevity is added to this factor... They could make the perfect chew toy.

Seithei has read a lot of stories about abuse and how the human mind is molded by it. It looks easy, but the thing is people like that usually live in a pretty secluded environment. When it's a kid, their whole world is their two parents and their house. When it's an adult, they're usually imprisoned ; or they're weak-minded and can't make up their mind about leaving the cause of their abuse behind.  
John isn't a kid. He's not imprisoned. He's not weak-minded, at least, not right now. There are too many factors in his life that Seithei needs to take into account if he wants John to be his entirely : his girlfriend, his friends, his mother, and this place. Maybe if John wasn't an intern, Seithei could've simply kidnapped him off the street ; but that would've been so easy it would've been tasteless, and it would've skipped all the hard yet rewarding work of gradually sinking John into a constant feeling of helplessness. Here, not only can Seithei physically torment him whenever he feels like it, but he can also force him to act the part of a normal life when nothing could be furthest away from the truth. A kidnapped individual can always hope that if someone finds out, they'll be saved. But having John feel alone and helpless despite having his friends around all the time will crush any of that hope for good.

John will have to keep up a facade with his friends and family. With a little luck, he'll find it too difficult and push them away by himself. Then Seithei will have more power over his actions and it will get easier and easier to get what he wants.  
The most difficult obstacle is his girlfriend. Taylor. That girl has too much influence on him.  
Seithei frowns and he pushes the pocket knife shut. He underestimated her. He thought what she and John had got going back then was just a teenage romance and that it would blow over soon enough, but he'd been wrong. His miscalculations were rare, but when they happened, he usually ended up quite wound up about it.  
And now even the best friend was back.

Seithei throws the pocket knife back into the drawer and slams it shut.

He's going to have to figure that out at some point, but it's fine. He has time to spare. If John doesn't close her out when it's needed, he'll find a solution. He always ends up finding a solution.  
All he needs to do right now is drive John close to the edge, and then he'll see what happens.

Seithei stands up and starts prowling around the room. He wonders if things would have been any different if he hadn't met John when they were kids. If John hadn't been at his school, would Seithei have developed such a penchant for hacking? Would he have turned out the same anyway? What if his parents hadn't given him that kitten for his birthday? What if his sister hadn't lended him her computer? What if John hadn't been so nice to him?  
But really, those questions aren't worth an ounce of speculation. Seithei knows that whatever route he'd taken, he would've ended up the exact same way. Maybe not for John, but definitely for someone.

If his parents hadn't given him that kitten, he would've killed the neighbours'.  
If his sister hadn't lended him her computer, he would've used the one at the library.  
If John hadn't been nice to him, someone else would've been.  
So really, in the end, it would've all amounted to the same result.

Seithei goes back to his chair and cracks his knuckles.  
The sound of typing rises in the room again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> It's been a long time since I last updated, I didn't think so many months had gone by already! Studies are tough... I should try to write more chapters more often but unfortunately, I lack inspiration. I feel like my brain's leaking out of my ears all the time.  
> Anyways, here you go, a glance at the inner workings of the creep's mind.  
> Thansk for reading, hope you enjoyed it, and leave a comment if you feel like it!


End file.
